Mostly Venting

[amberfocus]

Today was generally better than yesterday, though I am still using the cane when I walk and icing my knee when I'm not walking.  I got really irritated at a busy body in the parking lot today when I went to the grocery store to get my medication from their pharmacy.  I have a disabled parking permit because of my knee.  I only use it on my bad days, but still I have it and it was very clearly hanging from my mirror.  I also had my cane in my hand.  The kids had gotten out of the van and were waiting for me to finish my slow walk to the back to join them and this old lady comes up to me and goes, "Did you know that's a handicapped parking spot?"  And I'm like totally wanting to say, "No, really?"  Instead I simply held up my cane.  Then she had the audacity to ask me if I had a permit.  I simply pointed to the window to the clearly displayed permit.

Then she said, "It really irritates me when people park in handicapped parking spots without a permit."

Well, at that point I went into what I hope was a justified bitch mode as she was walking off and said, loudly, "You know what really irritates me?  People who don't bother to check for a permit before they get on their high horse and accuse someone who is clearly disabled of breaking the law."

She huffed but didn't turn back around.  I hate people like that.  I mean, I could have MS like my dad and not even be showing symptoms when I walk into the store, but by the time I come back out I'd be wiped out.  But that disability does not show on the outside and no one should have to justify themselves unless they really are cheating the system and don't have a permit.  And it was none of her business.  I could understand it if there were no permit, but there was.  And I was in pain.  I think I am justified in my bitchiness.  If I had been elderly I don't think it would have happened.  But because I'm just 41 (and have always looked younger than I am) and had kids with me, she just assumed I was cheating the system.  Stupid lady.   I don't walk with a cane for the joy of it.

Other than that, though it was a good day.  We went swimming.  I didn't count my laps.  I did not kick with my bad leg.  Often I didn't kick at all and just used my arms.  I swam for about 45 minutes.  There were too many little kids in the pool without adult supervision and they kept coming into the lap lane and the lifeguard wouldn't do anything about it.  I don't care if it was a birthday party or not.  Rules are rules.  There should not be only one adult (who wasn't even in the pool) and one lifeguard supervising 18 children.  There were also eight kids in the hot tub for the entire time we were there and at least five of them were under the age of six (and are not allowed to be in there) and there was no adult in with them, which is also against pool rules and club rules but nobody did anything.  I am going to write a complaint email because not only is it against the rules, but it is an unsafe situation to have three year olds in the hot tub with no grown up watching.


Still, it really was a good day.  I got some writing done.  I'm almost done (I hope) with the next chapter of You're What?  And I worked a bit on Leap of Faith, which is going even slower, but at least it is going.

I'm in the middle of Zombie Friday, so I should get back to it.  Not a zombie movie tonight, but an end of the world apocalypsey type thing.  If it is good I will post on it tomorrow.

Comments

[amyo67.livejournal.com]

I think you were perfectly justified in being irked. You clearly had the permit and the cane, just because you look young doesn't mean anything. Sheesh, what a grouchy lady she was.

HUGS

[amberfocus.livejournal.com]

Yeah, thanks, she was a grump and I didn't appreciate her passing it on to me at all.

[psyfi-geekgirl.livejournal.com]

I mean, I could have MS like my dad and not even be showing symptoms when I walk into the store, but by the time I come back out I'd be wiped out. But that disability does not show on the outside and no one should have to justify themselves unless they really are cheating the system and don't have a permit. And it was none of her business.

OMG. FUCK TO THE YEAH!!!
Girl, if I'd have been there, I would have taken her out for/with you!

I was 13 when my mother contracted MS. I grew up with people giving her dirty looks because she wasn't dragging a deformed leg behind her or drooling on herself. Occasionally, people like that old biddy that stopped you would get in our faces. I wanted to punch them all! You are so right. People have NO idea what it's like to be handicapped or what handicapped looks like. It's not all wheelchairs and deformities!

Two years ago, like you now, I needed my own temp placard. I also took a brief turn with a cane--which I still keep in the back of my car just in case. Turns out I had a blood clot in my leg--coulda killed me. I was in agony 24/7 for 3 months until it was correctly diagnosed and now I have vein damage. I no longer need the placard, but lemme tell you, Disneyland is tough. I got those accusatory looks, too, from the rude busybodies, and my childhood anger all came flooding back! But keep at it--having made it to the other side I can say it gets better. However, also having a disabled parent, I can understand (and truly empathize with) the fears about disability that only "a child of" can understand!

*big hugs*

[amberfocus.livejournal.com]

Thank you. It was just a very hard day as it was and I didn't need that happening.

Oh, I hear you on Disneyland. My husband and I were there when my leg gave out for the first time and had to go rent a scooter. People were giving us odd looks until they were able to see the knee swollen up like a softball. Usually I don't get any crap around here, though. It totally surprised me, esepcially since I have always been taught that many handicaps are invisible.

venting

[die-flow.livejournal.com]

I can relate. My best friend has MS, and is fairly young. She recently had that controversial surgery done, however, and is feeling better. At any rate, she doesn't look handicapped, either. People really need to mind their own business.

Re: venting

[amberfocus.livejournal.com]

Yeah, they really do.

[ramblinsuze.livejournal.com]

100% justified bitching there! I, too, get irritated when non-disabled people use those spaces (because I know so many people who need them!), but I *always* check for a plate/placard. And I don't usually say anything anyway, 'cause I'm a bit of a wimp. ;)

[amberfocus.livejournal.com]

I don't like it when people cheat the system ,but when it's clear they are not, just don't get in people's faces. I just didn't get her attitude at all.

[who-in-whoville.livejournal.com]

To quote Cute David Tennant Girl (my 7 year old): she made the following observation in the WalMart parking lot on Tuesday night (an idiot parked where they shouldn't be), "Mom, some people are just dumb, and some people are just smart." That was a dumb lady. I think that sometimes (elderly) people have so little to do in their lives that they look for problems to "solve."

I remember listening to a segment on the NPR radio program "This American Life" several years ago. A soldier had come back from Iraq with major PTSD after having lived through a road-side bomb attack on her convoy. She'd been medically discharged. She had a handicapped license plate because she needed to park as close to the entrance of her destination as possible... not because she had a physical handicap, but because every time she heard a loud startling noise, it sent her reeling. Her psychiatrist had prescribed it for her. We never know people's individual situations, do we?

Hugs to you... and again, that woman was just STUPID. Don't give her a second thought.

Regarding the pool, GRRRRRRR. I'm a swimmer. I can completely commiserate with you, and absolutely agree 100%. SHAME on that lifeguard!!!!

[amberfocus.livejournal.com]

Thank you. It is impossible to know and these people should not take on the role of handicapped police when all they know what to do is open their mouths and insert both feet.

[yavie-namarie.livejournal.com]

"You know what really irritates me? People who don't bother to check for a permit before they get on their high horse and accuse someone who is clearly disabled of breaking the law."

BRAVO.

[amberfocus.livejournal.com]

Thanks.

[maniacalshen.livejournal.com]

Jeez, who confronts people in the parking lot like that? You never confront people over handicapped spots. If the person in the spot has a non-obvious disability, you then look like a huge ass hole. If the person in the spot has no disability, well, they're the sort of person that steals handicapped spots; they're not going to care about being yelled at. It's just something for them to giggle over.

Good job verbally bitch-smacking her, though.

[amberfocus.livejournal.com]

Self-absorbed, sure that they're right, crazy old biddies, that's who. *sighs* My kids thought she was a nut.

[crimedoc1.livejournal.com]

TOTALLY SYMPATHIZE! I have a disabled parking permit and often do not look disabled if I don't need to use my crutch or mobility scooter. So I've been glared at and verbally abused a lot. Once I remember someone accused me of using someone else's permit (and I even had a cane at that point!), and when I said, no, it's mine, I actually do need it, he barked back, "Good!" I said, "I've never thought so, actually," and he at least looked a bit embarrassed. When I first met my husband, he could not believe some of the things people would just walk up to us and say when we parked in the "blue spaces" (as my kids call them). I've needed a permit since I was 18 or so, and so I've lived with this sort of abuse for decades now - glares, nasty comments, even notes left on the windshield. I mean, I really am glad that people care that these spaces are important, and should be kept for people who need them. And of course down here in South Florida, permit abuse is a major problem - apparently lots of seniors think that when they turn 65 they are automatically entitled to a Social Security check and a disabled parking permit. But HEY! It's not your job to decide who really needs a permit. LAY OFF!

*grin* I bitched about this to my rheumatologist one time and his suggestion was to "Just limp a bit to shut them up." I love my rheumatologist. :-D

Can I ask for advice? I am *trying* to get myself to go swimming and I am having serious trouble getting myself motivated. I will admit that the time of the water fit class at my gym's pool doesn't help - it's right when I'd like to go and they don't let you swim laps when the class is on. But I really need to go - how do you make yourself get out the door and go?! I keep thinking of all the other things I need to be doing (work, reading fanfic, sleeping, reading fanfic, prepping fall classes, reading fanfic.....) :-)

[amberfocus.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I figured you'd had some major events with these sorts of folks.

As for the swimming, I really do love it. It is a time for me to be in an environment with no body weight pressing down on my poor knee. I love the near weightlessness of the pool. It gives me genuine relief when so many other things do not. Plus it helps to have nagging children who want to go to the pool every day it's open.

I just make up my mind to do it and then I do it because I know I will feel better afterwards and I always do. I do not think I could do it for anything but swimming, though.

[lorelaisquared.livejournal.com]

ugh! That woman was rude. You are totally justified in being annoyed. A few summers ago I was on crutches for a foot injury and couldn't get a temporary permit so had to park normally and I remember how horrible it was having to crutch my way into a store from far away - and that was only temporary - I can't imagine having to do it all the time.

Anyway, you shouldn't have to justify yourself to people like that. I'm so sorry.

[amberfocus.livejournal.com]

That would have been really hard to use crutches from such a long way away. A bit easier with a cane, but still not great. Thanks.

[develish1]

yes, I'm late again *sigh*

you were totally justified on the bitching though hon. We used to get similar stuff when we were out with my late father in law. He had diabetes and a heart condition, both of which are not obvious, but combined can certainly affect your mobility to a dramatic degree.

He had all the required paperwork, signs etc, and still we used to get people making snarky comments or giving us funny looks, just because a lot of the time he "looked" okay. It used to annoy me beyond belief and a few times I did say something, on occasion it was peppered with expletives too, lol