amberfocus | Real Life Scary Things

This will probably be my last post until Friday night or Saturday morning. Tomorrow we head down to Virginia Mason and I don't know if the hotel has Wifi or not. Or a pool. It doesn't say anything about either on the entire website. Ch. 30 of LoF is at 2475 words and I will probably write on the car ride down to Seattle as a way of distracting myself. I hope to finish this chapter as well as the next one of You're What?

I don't mind admitting that I'm scared. I've dealt with so many medical issues over the past eight years and I just don't know what to expect right now. I don't know what they will find. I have been tumor free for five years and I keep my fingers crossed that I shall continue to be so. I hope that the scar tissue will not be a problem for any of the tests they will be running. I hope they can fix me, because I really can't see living the rest of my life this way. The worst thing for me is if they say that nothing can be done surgically because if they do, it will mean living this way for several more decades and I'm not sure I can handle that. The last time things got bad I almost lost a kidney and I did lose my gall bladder and appendix.

Anyway, my appointment is at 9:30 Friday morning. Please pray for me, cross your fingers, send out vibes, whatever. I want to get through this and be okay again. Oh, yeah, and if you don't mind, ask that I don't have an allergic reaction to the contrast dye as well. Because I don't need that on top of everything else.

*takes deep breath* I can do this.