Life Viewed Through an Amber Focus

Going in for my sleep study tonight, which my lame butt insurance company finally approved after jumping through 3827 hoops. Almost as bad as the freaking school district at 3828 hoops.

Cross your fingers that I don't actually have sleep apnea and just have stupid insomnia.

Umm...I'm not as grumpy as this post sounds.

Well, I'm pissed off at the dairy industry which is trying to add artificial sweetners to dairy products, but not put it on the label. Especially to the flavored milks they provide to schools. One of their justifications? The public doesn't know flavored milk has sweetners in it anyway so it doesn't need to be on the label. And it has nothing to do with the decline in milk sales at all, does it? Nothing to do with trying to get people to have an addictive response to a food so they will buy more of it. *growls*

I will post a link tomorrow about how to let the gov know that this is a stupid idea if anyone wants it.

Now, off to not sleep in a bed that is not mine, but with my own pillow.

Joy.

Really, not as grumpy as it sounds.

Mom is taking T away tomorrow for a good portion of the day and R is going to a birthday party so I will have weveral hours to myself to write uninterupted, which will be really nice because this week has felt more like 2 paragraphs followed by someone needed something, lather, rinse, repeat. And while I can write in 5 minute blocks it is not as good as having a few hours so that I am not constantly being jarred out of the story. I hope to get a couple of chapters done. Well, not done, done, but fleshed out really well.

The sistersofguh ficathon is now open for posting, I need to remember to go announce that, and I will probably post my ficathon fic tomorrow. I'd do it tonight, but I'd just mess up the coding as I am so tired. It's the first smut I've written in a long time. I thought I had forgotten how there for a while.

I had my first mammogram today. The lady was really nice and funny. She had me laughing and not feeling at all self-conscious or weird. It wasn't the most comfortable thing in the world, but it didn't hurt, either. I don't know why I've been such a big scaredy cat about it up until now. It was simple.

Next week I go in for a consult for a sleep study and then the next day will actually get the physical I thought I was getting last week with the new doctor. I got my preapproval from the insurance today. He wants me tested for apnea because of my chronic exhaustion and frequent insomnia. Dad had it, so it's possible I have it, too. We'll see. It might give me the motivation to finish losing the weight I need to lose, because apparently going to Disneyland in six weeks is not enough of a carrot on a stick. *sighs*

I have to remember to go over to the lab on Monday to get a copy of my last blood panel to take to the new doctor. I'm supposed to get the next temporary crown on the 21st for the tooth on the other side of my mouth. I am thinking about postponing it until after vacation. It doesn't hurt anymore, I don't think I'm grinding my teeth the same way since the first crown, and I've got so much other stuff going on right now. I know I'll be on painkillers for at least 3 days which will mess up any sleep study, which I feel is more important at this time than going to the dentist.

Everything went really well, although I am thoroughly exhausted from the drive. Good news is, I will not need a follow up surgery. (Well, maybe in five years or maybe never, but definitely not in November). Everything is healing as it should be and I don't have to go back to see him again until December 9th. I might actually have a chance to start getting into shape without being knocked on my butt every few months. That would be amazing.

I am too tired to deal with coding, so ch. 3 I will post tomorrow night, if anyone is lurking around and waiting. (Plus I had an idea for a new scene on the drive, so I will add that in tomorrow).

I have a follow up appointment in Seattle today at Virginia Mason. I may be too wiped out to post chapter 3 of The Direct (and Not so Direct) Approach tonight, but will post it on Wednesday if I am. I slept better last night but am still pretty tired. Weight loss is going good. According to the scale I've lost 6.8 pounds this week (had a bit of a whoosh this morning of 1.8) and 33 pounds since the sugery. It'll probably slow down next week. The first week of a diet always tends to be pretty good for me and then I settle into about 2 pounds or less a week.

Didn't think I had a medical icon, but then I remembered Allison in her nurse's cap when they go back in time on Eureka.

So I had my pre-operative appointment with my doctor today.  I still have to do blood labs (no one told me it had to be a fasting lab).  And I may have to wait until Tuesday to do it as the kids' great grandmother's funeral is tomorrow at 11:30.  I don't know if the lab is open on Saturdays or not.  Some of them are open until noon.  And of course Monday is Independence Day so that leaves Tuesday.  Wednesday at 10 I have an EKG scheduled which I also did not know I had to do but fortunately they could get me in.  I've never had to jump through so many hoops before a surgery before.  It's a little frustrating.  This needs to be done no matter what.  I was just grateful that my temperature was within normal parameters at 98.0.  Technically this is a fever for me, but a low grade one since my regular temp is 97.8.  Of course there is an infection.  That's part of the problem with the area that needs to be operated on.  They know that.

Anyway, I have to call the lady at Virginia Mason and let her know all this stuff.  It's a little frustrating, but I am dealing.

I wish the nausea would go away, though.  I don't know if it's nerves or one of the medicines I'm taking or if I have a bit of a stomach virus.  Otherwise I am feeling pretty good.  I wish it were the 15th already.  I just want it done.

Now, back to writing.  At least I'm motivated to write and it's providing a nice distraction from real life.

I am back home from Virginia Mason.  I really, really, really liked my doctor.  And the second doctor that was called in.  And the two nurses.  They made things a lot more bearable and I totally trusted them and felt like I was in good hands.  A good thing, too, because the tests they did hurt a lot.  Abnormally so, but they found the reason why and it can be mostly corrected.  But it's going to require two surgeries, the first of which probably won't relieve the symptoms and might make them worse.  The second one should make everything better, but it will be several weeks between so I have time to fully heal.  I'm going to be in pain for the next couple of days because of the tests.  I never want to go through something like that again.  It pretty much hit labor levels of pain (just not for as long, of course).  Gah.  On the bright side the contrast dye was clear so no allergic reaction to coloring.

Thank you to everyone who sent me words of support and said prayers and offered good vibes, etc.  I am overwhelmed.  *HUGS*

This will probably be my last post until Friday night or Saturday morning.  Tomorrow we head down to Virginia Mason and I don't know if the hotel has Wifi or not.  Or a pool.  It doesn't say anything about either on the entire website.  Ch. 30 of LoF is at 2475 words and I will probably write on the car ride down to Seattle as a way of distracting myself.  I hope to finish this chapter as well as the next one of You're What?

I don't mind admitting that I'm scared.  I've dealt with so many medical issues over the past eight years and I just don't know what to expect right now.  I don't know what they will find.  I have been tumor free for five years and I keep my fingers crossed that I shall continue to be so.  I hope that the scar tissue will not be a problem for any of the tests they will be running.  I hope they can fix me, because I really can't see living the rest of my life this way.  The worst thing for me is if they say that nothing can be done surgically because if they do, it will mean living this way for several more decades and I'm not sure I can handle that.  The last time things got bad I almost lost a kidney and I did lose my gall bladder and appendix.

Anyway, my appointment is at 9:30 Friday morning.  Please pray for me, cross your fingers, send out vibes, whatever.  I want to get through this and be okay again.  Oh, yeah, and if you don't mind, ask that I don't have an allergic reaction to the contrast dye as well.  Because I don't need that on top of everything else.

*takes deep breath*  I can do this.