Post Pomp (17/22)
Apr. 23rd, 2008 07:57 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
amberfocus
A/N: The Doctor makes a decision to fight for Rose. So does young Jack. Which man will be more determined?
Chapter Seventeen: Two Hundred Fifty-Nine Days
The Doctor was highly agitated as he paced the corridor outside his bedroom door. Jack Harkness had gotten in his way once before with Rose. Oh, they’d settled into a friendship in the end that had been acceptable more or less to all of them, but he might have gotten the courage up to tell Rose how he felt sooner if Jack hadn’t been constantly with them.
He thought back to that last night before they’d been transmatted off the TARDIS and dumped on the game station. Rose had been sleeping in his arms, her recovery from the gunshot wound she’d received on Tir still not complete. He’d wanted her close so he could monitor her position, make sure she didn't shift her body and put stress on the injury. Her position, however, always seemed to end up tight against him somehow, despite her injury. He’d finally made up his mind to tell Rose how he felt, while she was awake for a change.
His lips twitched in fond remembrance of his muttering he loved her when she was under heavy sedation and half asleep, and her quiet mumble that she loved him, too. He’d had to check her mind to make sure she was actually asleep, that she had only responded on an unaware level. It had nearly stopped his hearts. But he still hadn’t believed it completely. Not then.
Rose had made it clear how she felt when she’d come back for him at the game station and he’d realized how deeply he loved her when he’d given up his own life for hers. He’d taken the Vortex out of her body, or as much of it as he safely could. He had worried for weeks afterward that there might be serious repercussions to what she’d done, but none had ever manifested.
He’d never regretted for an instant what he’d done. And in doing what he’d done he’d got to kiss Rose. She might not remember, but he did. It was seared across his memory and it had been glorious. And then everything had changed. He’d changed. Into something erratic and unstable and confused. Oh, always so confused. The second kiss they’d shared, Cassandra had been in control. But he hadn’t known it then and his hearts had soared because he thought Rose still loved him, still returned his feelings.
It had been all too soon that he’d realized that it hadn’t been her. That she’d been forced to do it and that she was still confused at his regenerating even if she was strongly attracted to this new body, if what Cassandra had said was to be believed. But he’d pulled back anyway. Unsure that he could even know his own mind that soon after a regeneration. Why had he pulled back? Why?
Because he feared Rose didn’t feel the same way as she used to when she’d saved him? She’d proven to him just days after that how much she did want him with her jealous reaction over his relationship with Sarah Jane. As if his affection for Sarah could ever hold a candle to how he felt about Rose. And he’d promised her–promised her!–that he’d not abandon her.
But he had done. He had done. He’d thrown it all away, thrown her away, for absolutely nothing. He didn’t deserve her. He knew that. But it didn’t matter, because he was going to fight for her anyway. And not just because he knew in the end it all worked out. Cassi was proof of that. But because it was time to stop being a coward and to let Rose know the truth once and for all.
And maybe he could find a way to leave Jack behind again, like he’d done on the game station. Oh, he hadn’t felt right about that when he’d done it, but he'd done it anyway. He’d let Rose think Jack was dead. Oh, he'd told her he was rebuilding the planet below but then he'd never mentioned Jack again and he knew Rose assumed he had lied to protect her from grief. She'd said as much when she told him she'd wished there could have been a funeral or some sort of memorial for their friend. He hadn't corrected her.
Future Jack was far from dead and he knew that. Jack was wrong, completely wrong now, but he could have dealt with that. No, he just hadn’t wanted Jack around, hadn’t wanted the competition for Rose’s heart anymore than he did now. He had not been thinking quite sanely at the time, stuck as he was in the throes of regeneration sickness. He hated the part of him that had driven him to do that to Jack, who had been a friend despite everything with Rose, and yet he’d do it again to keep Rose to himself. And he knew the timelines had had Jack restoring Earth in that time period anyway. But--.
He sighed and ran his hands through his hair. He couldn’t let his jealousy get the better of him. He had to win Rose back fair and square. Because the idea of losing her, really losing her, to anyone turned his mind upside down. But losing her to Jack would kill him. Being without her for so long had been misery, but he’d known he’d get back to her eventually. She hadn’t though. She hadn’t known and had given up and she’d fallen halfway for Jack if what the man said was any indication. Jack was a lot of things but in this the Doctor didn’t think he was a liar.
His daughter appeared from the doorway to the console room. “Philia has finished recharging. It’s time to leave. You might want to hold onto something. She doesn’t have the smoothest takeoffs and landings. And that’s saying something compared to your ship.”
As she turned to go he put out a hand and stopped her. “I really am sorry I was a bad father. I’m sorry I hurt your ship.” He paused, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he got out the next words. “Cassi, thank you. Thank you for coming to get me. And for taking me to Rose.”
Her guard suddenly dropped and she put her arms around him, hugging him. His hands tightened reflexively about her for the brief moment she allowed it. “I learned the value of second chances a long time ago, Daddy,” she whispered, pressing a swift kiss to his cheek before turning and fleeing his presence. A moment later he found himself on the floor of the corridor as his daughter’s TARDIS launched herself into the Time Vortex.
Jack steadied himself as he felt Philia dematerialize. The ship had given him a brief warning and he’d managed to grab onto a support strut to stabilize himself. When the shaking subsided he threw himself down onto the bed and closed his eyes, throwing his arm out to shade out the overhead light.
There was a lot of confusion in his mind at the moment. The woman who had come to rescue the Doctor had refused to tell him who she was and the Doctor didn’t seem to want him knowing either. They’d both mumbled something about messing up the time lines as if he were a novice time traveler with no common sense to keep himself out of trouble.
The Doctor had not impressed him. The man didn’t deserve Rose, even if it was clear he was hurting from what he’d done to the girl. But he should hurt! What he’d done to this lovely woman he was now claiming as his own, both emotionally and physically, was wrong. It had nearly killed her. Who was to say the Doctor wouldn’t do it again, wouldn’t get his head turned by some piece of Italian frippery in the 28th century or a Betelguesian Chianna girl?
Jack could never forgive himself if Rose died because the Doctor neglected her again. He’d fight for her. He’d fight hard and dirty if had too. Her life might depend on it. And he wanted her so much. He had fallen so deeply in love with her so quickly. He’d give up other men and women altogether if Rose would have him, and that was saying something.
Monogamy was not something that came naturally to him; it wasn’t part of the culture he’d been raised in. In fact most family groupings in this century had three or four adults in a marriage triad or quadrad with multiple children raised by all. But if he had Rose he wouldn’t need anyone else.
That thought scared him a little. To have one person, only one person that you needed to make your life complete was enormous. It was such a quaint pre-27th century notion and yet he could see how the appeal of it had lingered in the human race for so long. Because if you found that one right person, it could be glorious.
It was like he’d always known her, like she’d made an imprint on his soul the day he’d lifted her away from that window and carried her to safety. She’d been in his life for such a short time and yet the thought of her leaving his life, of her leaving him filled him with a grief he hadn’t felt since his foster sister had died in his arms in the swamps of his adopted homeland or the day his full blood brother had disappeared during an invasion because he'd lost his grip on the younger boy's hand... He swallowed it down harshly. He'd lost too many people in his life already. He was not going to lose her. He’d make sure of it.
14. http://amberfocus.livejournal.com/43198.html
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2008-04-24 05:36 am (UTC)"He had to win Rose back fair and square. Because the idea of losing her, really losing her, to anyone turned his mind upside down."
And Jack is so attracted to Rose -- "He’d fight for her. He’d fight hard and dirty if had too. Her life might depend on it. And he wanted her so much. He had fallen so deeply in love with her so quickly. He’d give up other men and women altogether if Rose would have him, and that was saying something."
Oh Rose; you have a BIG choice coming up!
Love this chapter! *Hugs*
no subject
Date: 2008-04-25 02:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-04-24 06:00 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-04-25 02:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-04-24 06:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-04-25 02:32 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-04-24 04:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-04-25 02:33 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-04-25 05:15 am (UTC)Ah-HAH! The real reason surfaces! I knew the whole "You're wrong, Jack" thing couldn't be the only reason! ;)
And guh, I love the Chapter banner! ♥! *hurries off to the big showdown* O_O ;)
no subject
Date: 2008-04-26 06:32 am (UTC)I had so much fun with these silly banners! *grins*