You Reap What You Sow (38&39 of 45)

[amberfocus]

                                                                Banner by bm_shipperarts

Chapter Thirty-eight:  What Mums Are For

The Doctor wasn’t sure how he knew Jackie Tyler was banging on the doors to the TARDIS. No outside sound could possibly intrude into the soundproofed Zero room, and yet somehow he knew she was out there. He didn’t really think there was a link between his mind and Jackie’s, though with his sense of self-preservation when it came to the woman, he wouldn’t be surprised if he hadn’t subconsciously installed an early detection warning system.  Then again, it might have been the TARDIS telling him without really talking to him.  She wasn't too thrilled at him at the moment either.  The TARDIS was quite fond of Donna, even fonder of Rose, knew the Doctor had botched it and if she'd had shoulders she would have been giving them to him cold.

As for Jackie, his relationship with Rose’s mother ran hot and cold. Most of the time, if he was very lucky, it was simply warm these days. But he knew that if he wasn’t very careful in how he handled things, he’d end up on the receiving end of a Tyler slap and he didn’t really care to go there again, even, and he gulped, if he deserved one.  And he rather thought he did.

He swam his way over to the doors with one arm and two feet, his other arm still wrapped around his sleeping son. He pulled himself out the door and the heaviness of gravity reasserted itself. Dare awoke with a start at the change in sensation and started to cry. Hastily the Doctor checked his mind, finding only startlement at the return of gravity and then hunger. The upset that had been there since Cassi’s regeneration had been soothed by his time in the Zero room.

The Doctor stopped by the kitchen to retrieve a packet of breast milk from the freezer and waited impatiently while the TARDIS thawed it and warmed it. With the bottle in the baby’s mouth he made his way to the console room and asked the TARDIS to open the doors. Jackie went sprawling to the floor as the doors released.

“’Bout bloody time. I’ve been pounding and pounding,” his mother-in-law informed him. She picked herself up and brushed herself off.

“Sorry, Jackie,” the Doctor said in an expressionless voice.

“Where’s Rose?” she asked looking around the empty console room.

“She’s sleeping,” he said. “She’ll be sleeping for awhile.”

Something in his toneless reply brought her eyes sharply to his face. “What’s wrong? What’s happened to my daughter?” she demanded.

“Rose is fine.” He looked up at the ceiling, struggling to get his sudden flare of emotion under control. “But the baby…” He trailed off.

“What’s wrong with Vandarian?” she asked her eyes flying to Dare. “He looks fine to me.”

“Dare’s fine,” he said. “Rose is…Rose is pregnant.”

“So soon?” Jackie gasped. “Dare can’t be much more than three months old!”

“Almost four months,” he replied absently.

“You shouldn’t be having another baby so soon. The stress on Rose’s body--.”

“It’s not like we planned it,” he said, slightly snappish. He was getting really tired of people telling him it wasn’t safe for her to be pregnant again so soon. He knew that. Rose had read him the riot act. But she was and they weren’t undoing it.

“Well, if she’s pregnant, I suppose that means she’s got her memories back then?” Jackie asked.

“Yes.”

“And something is wrong with the pregnancy?” Jackie pressed.

“No. I mean, she’s in no danger of losing the baby. But, well, something happened and Cassi, that’s what we’ve named the baby, Cassi regenerated,” he explained.

“Before she was even born?” Jackie looked horrified.

“Yeah. Rose is sleeping off the regeneration sickness,” the Doctor said.

“What? Like you had?” Jackie asked.

“Not exactly. I mean, Rose herself isn’t sick with it. Cassi is. But the only way for the energy to be released is through Rose. So she’s sleeping through the worst of it while the baby rebuilds,” he told her.

“Well, why don’t you bring her into the house and we’ll put her to bed? I can look after her for awhile,” Jackie offered. “You look exhausted.”

“I’m fine. And Rose needs to stay where she is. It’s a special room that shuts out the mental and physical chaos of those around her, a quiet place for the baby’s mind as it finishes regrowing. It’s best Rose remains there for another twelve hours.”

“Well, at the least, let me take my grandson off your hands for awhile.” The Doctor glanced down at the boy, realized he had finished the bottle and set it down on the console. He brought Dare to his shoulder and burped him.

“I don’t know.”

“Doctor, I’m perfectly capable of looking after Dare. I’ve got two little ones of my own if you hadn’t forgotten,” Jackie sounded annoyed.

“It’s not that. I trust you with my son. Of course, I do. But…he’s comfort,” the Doctor admitted.

Jackie’s eyes narrowed. It was what he wasn’t saying that was getting her curious. “Why should you need comfort?”

“Aside from the fact that my daughter just regenerated before she was even two full months in the womb?” he asked indignantly.

“Yes, Doctor,” she said quietly. “Aside from that fact.”

“I messed up,” the Doctor said. “I didn’t tell Rose what she needed to know and I ignored what she had to say and it’s because of that my daughter’s life was put at risk.”

“I’m sure you’re being too hard on yourself,” Jackie said sympathetically.

“And I managed to make Rose think that I thought it was all her fault,” he said darkly.

“Do you?” Jackie challenged him, her overprotective mother streak beginning to show itself.

“Do I what?” he asked in surprise.

“Do you think it’s all Rose’s fault?” Jackie asked.

“No. Of course not. It was an accident. But…if it’s anyone’s fault, it’s mine,” he muttered. He sighed and put Dare down in the little playpen next to the jump seat. “Rose thinks I don’t want her anymore.”

“Why?” Jackie looked confused.

“Donna and I had an argument and I left her behind,” he admitted. “And Rose and I were fighting because of what happened and she accused me of wanting to drop her off, too. And to make matters worse, the TARDIS chose to materialize here, so I’m pretty sure from Rose’s reaction she thinks I was going to dump her with you.” The TARDIS hummed angrily at his comment.

“I’m sorry,” he said to the ceiling. “I know you just thought Rose needed her mum.” He turned his eyes back to Jackie. “I’ve made a mess of things. Jackie, I can’t lose her. Your daughter is my world.”

Jackie was torn between sympathy for the man in front of her and the urge to smack some sense into the Time Lord’s head. “You’re an idiot if you think Rose is going to even let you walk away from her.”

“What?”

“You heard me. Tenacious, Rose is. Tyler women don’t give up on their men. Don’t you know that if she could have, Rose would have torn through the Void with her bare hands and teeth if that’s what it would have taken to get back to you? She’s not going to let go of you. She’s not going to let you throw her away. Not,” and Jackie’s hands came up defensively, “that I’m saying you were throwing her away. She’s just lost a bit of her fighting spirit. It’ll come back. And I imagine the two of you have a bit of a row coming up.”

“So you don’t think she’ll leave me?” His voice was suddenly so uncertain and scared it surprised Jackie.

“If you have that little faith in Rose’s love for you than you deserve a Tyler smack,” she said aggressively. He backed away from her, placing Dare’s playpen between them. “Rose wouldn’t leave you anymore than you’d leave her.”

“But I have done. Left her before. Left her behind.”

“Before the Void. Before you were married. You may not think so, Doctor, but I know you. I’ve always known you. You love my daughter. She is your world. Has been for more years than you even realize. But you’re hers, too. She’s not going to leave you. But if you don’t straighten up and start treating her like an equal, a partner, then your life is going to be a series of these miserable moments where you end up being afraid that she will. Realize that she is your wife and not your assistant. Let her in, let her stand at your side and not behind you. That’s where she belongs, after all.”

“How did you ever get so smart, Jackie Tyler?” the Doctor asked slightly in awe.

“I’m a mum,” she said tartly. “We know things.  Now go get some supplies for my grandson and let me deal with him for a while while you sort things out with Rose. And I’m reserving the right to smack some sense into you if you start acting like an arse, understood?”

“Understood,” the Doctor responded. He hurried off to the kitchen to get a supply of milk and some bottles for Dare and then to the bedroom to pick up his nappy bag. He neatly stored everything inside it and took it back to Jackie in the console room. She hefted it onto one shoulder and then leaned down and picked up Dare.

“Make it right,” she told the Doctor.

“Thank you, Jackie,” he said softly.

“What are mums for?”
 

Chapter Thirty-nine:  A Smile Upon Waking That Quickly Fades

When Rose opened her eyes she felt strangely relaxed. She yawned and turned her head to the side, to see the eyes of her husband watching her intently. She gave him a slow, sleep-heavy smile before her mind rapidly began to put things together and the smile faded from both her face and eyes. She went to turn away from him and found herself in a slow spin.

“What?”

“It’s okay, Rose. We’re in the Zero room. There’s no gravity in here.” He reached out slowly and gave a little counter push and her spin slowed and stopped.

“Why?” she asked and her voice sounded somewhat irritated.

“It was best for the baby,” he said. “It’s a safe place for regenerating, or if it’s too late for that, it helps to calm the process during regeneration sickness. Which you, or rather Cassi through you, has had. Nothing gets in here, no outside sound or smells or tastes or excess emotions from outside sources.”

“Is she…is she okay now?” Rose asked pushing through her animosity towards her husband to ask that frightened question.

“I’ve not looked,” he told her. “I didn’t think…I didn’t think I had that right anymore.”

“Just…check and see she’s all right and if it’s safe to get out of here. I want my feet on the ground before…anything else happens.” Her voice was tight and unhappy.

Hesitantly he placed his hands on her abdomen and concentrated. He withdrew his hands a moment later and gave her a wistful smile. “She’s through the worst of it now. The regeneration sickness is over. I had hoped so. You haven’t exhaled Vortex energy in a couple of hours.”

“I was…you mean like you did after you changed?”

“Yep.” He didn’t pop the ‘p’ and his eyes glanced at the leather jacket she was wearing and then flicked away.

“Then help me out of here and we can…discuss things,” she said somewhat darkly.

He sighed and tugged her lightly towards the door, then set himself in motion. It was a relief when gravity took over and she was sure which way was up and which way was down again. “Where’s Dare?” she asked.

“He’s with your mum. She’s been helping out while you’ve been indisposed. Are you hungry?” he asked.

“Yeah, starving.”

He nodded. “The regeneration process, it can do that, all that energy expelled. I’ll make you something to eat.”

Rose followed him to the kitchen, her mind trying to formulate a line of defense or maybe of attack, but really she didn’t want to fight with him. She just wanted to know when he was going to leave her so she could prepare herself. She sat down at the table and stared at her hands while he busied himself at the stove.

“I think it’s best,” she began, “If Dare lives with me. You can see him as often as you want, I’ll not keep him from you, but he’s still nursing and well, a life with me and my parents is going to be a lot safer than just you and him, isn’t it? Then when Cassi comes, of course, you can see her, too.”

The Doctor froze. “What are you talking about, Rose?” He turned around to look at her with an expression of horror.

“You’re leaving me,” she told him flatly.

“I’m doing no such thing!”

“But…you brought me home to Mum. You left Donna. Soon as Cassi’s stable, which she is now, you’re leaving me.”

“No. Rose, no. I am not leaving you. You’re my wife. I’m never leaving you.” He sat down across the table from her and reached forward, grasping her hands, not letting her pull them away from his. “My wife, my bond mate, my love, my life, my Rose.” He shook his head. “And anyway, the TARDIS brought us here. Not me.”

He sighed. “I talked to your mum. I told her what happened.”

“What I did,” she said scornfully.

“NO!” Rose flinched. “I’m sorry. No, Rose. I told her what happened. I don’t blame you for this. Not for any of it. Cassi lost one of her lives because I wouldn’t consider, even for a moment, that I was wrong and that you might possibly know something that I didn’t. If I had listened to you…” He frowned. “And I should have told you not to try to use Vortex energy while you were pregnant. It goes through the path of least resistance. That was…Cassi.”

Rose’s face crumpled, but she kept herself from crying with sheer force of will. “What did…happen?” He let up on her hands and she pulled them away, tucking them into her lap.

“One of Cassi’s lives was basically transferred to Donna. It saved Donna’s life.”

“But took part of hers.”

“Yes.”

A sudden thought struck Rose. “Donna won’t be like Jack now, will she? Immortal, unkillable?”

“No,” the Doctor said, shaking his head. “She’ll live longer than a human now, though.”

“How long?”

“Barring accidents, or severe illness, she could live to be around two hundred years old. The regeneration didn’t make her into a Time Lady or turn her immortal, she’s still human, she’ll just have more longevity.”

“How do you know? There wasn’t time to run tests before you left her.” She tried to keep the accusation out of her tone but wasn’t successful.

“Believe it or not, Rose, something similar has happened before. Not with someone who had access to the Vortex like you do, but with a Time Lady who was pregnant. A rarity amongst my people, believe me. But…a human was saved, the man that she…married.”

“I thought your people didn’t mix with humans.”

“Usually didn’t. There were rare exceptions.”

“Are you going to go back for Donna?” Rose demanded, her emotions spinning the topic of conversation again.

“I’m not sure Donna will come back. I…messed up. With her. Especially with you. Rose, I don’t blame you for any of it. It was all me, okay? I don’t want you thinking I blame you. And I especially don’t want you to even for one minute blame yourself. Because it’s all on me. I did this. Not you.”

He looked so hopeless that she couldn’t help reaching out to him, touching his face. “Doctor, I think we both did this to our daughter. I think we have to accept equal blame.”

“But you didn’t know!” he protested.

“Did you know? Did you know I’d try to use the Vortex energy to try to save Donna?” she asked him.

“I should have. I know you, Rose and I know that you’d do everything you could to save one of your friends.” He rubbed his hands over his face. “I didn’t listen to you, Rose. I didn’t even think about what you said. I just dismissed it.”

“I know,” she said, and the hurt was strong in her voice again. “That really hurt me,” she said. “I thought you trusted me better than that. I know my hunches seem silly to you, but it’s residuals from being one with the heart of the TARDIS. Sometimes I remember things and when I do, you have to take that seriously."

“I’m so sorry, Rose. Sorry that I didn’t listen, sorry I didn’t trust you instincts, sorry I dismissed you out of hand. Jackie made me see what I’ve been doing. I don’t treat you like a partner, Rose. Sometimes I still treat you like that nineteen-year-old kid I picked up in London. Like a companion or an assistant. But not a partner, not someone equal to me,” he said.

“I’m not equal to you,” she muttered.

“Oh, but Rose, don’t you see? You are. You can channel the Vortex and live to tell the tale. And even before that, you were my equal in a hundred different ways. You’ve saved my life at least as many times as I’ve saved yours. You’re street smart and intelligent and you’re a fantastic mum. If anything, you’re better than me,” he said earnestly.

“I’m not,” she said. “Not better than.”

“But equal to?”

“If you’ll let me be. I can stand beside you, Doctor. It doesn’t have to always be a step behind.”

“That’s what your mum said, more or less,” he told her.

“Smart woman, my mum.”

“Yes, she is.”

“Doctor, I need you to know that I don’t blame you for what happened to Cassi, either. What I said, I said in anger, but I know you would never endanger our children on purpose. I’m sorry I said it. You didn’t deserve that and it wasn’t fair of me to say it to you.”

His heart wrenched a bit at her words. “Rose?” He caught hold of her eyes.

“What?”

“Are we going to be all right? You and me?” he asked her.

“If you listen to me in the future, the same way that you’re listening to me right now, then yeah. We’re going to be all right.”

“I love you. You know that, right?” he asked her.

She gave him a half-smile. “I know that,” she told him. “And I love you.” Her stomach gave an embarrassing rumble and she grimaced.

“Right,” he said jumping up and turning back to the stove. “Breakfast it is.”

“Doctor.”

“Yes?” He glanced back at her.

“Really,” she said. “We will be all right.” The last bit of tension left him. He blinked his eyes rapidly, telling himself it was the little bit of onion he’d added to the pan. But he knew what it really was. Relief that his wife had given him a second chance, that he hadn’t made a mistake that was fatal to their marriage. That she had, though she hadn’t said the actual words, forgiven him. Now if only he could forgive himself.

Ch. 40&41:  http://amberfocus.livejournal.com/94877.html 

Comments

[simplyn2deep.livejournal.com]

so things are right between Rose and the Doctor. Now things have to be right between the Doctor and Donna...and Donna and the Torchwood gang

[amberfocus.livejournal.com]

He's got a lot of damage repair to do with Donna, that's for sure.

[sunnytyler001.livejournal.com]

Awwww!!! So sweet!!!
But wil we get auntie Donna back?

[amberfocus.livejournal.com]

Now that is the question. Guess you'll just have to wait and see. But not long. I'll be putting the final chapters up in a bit.

[solarflar3.livejournal.com]

Haven't read it yet, just about to but had to leave a comment. My daughter saw your banner for this fic and said 'Mummy! Have Rose and the Doctor got married?!!'

She is 7 years old and a shipper already!

[amberfocus.livejournal.com]

Awww. I love this banner so so much. I was so excited when I found it.