amberfocus | You Reap What You Sow (30&31 of 45)

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Chapter Thirty: The Power Over Life and Death

The next morning Rose was able to get up and around, though she still felt sore. Not being able to use the tissue regenerator right away after her injury meant that it had partially healed the old fashioned way and some of the nerves had twisted. It would take a lot of time under that machine to reverse that damage but right now, it was Donna who needed the machine the most, so Rose would hold off on fixing her own injury for a while.

She took in a deep breath as the nerves twinged but it passed after a few seconds and she continued across the room to where Donna lay, the Doctor sitting beside her and holding one hand. Rose rested her hands on his shoulders. “Any improvement?” she asked him.

He sighed and leaned back against her seeking her warmth and strength. “Her body is fighting to reject the kidney that was taken out and put back in. It was in Briot’s body long enough to start to adapt to his physiology. Some kind of medication they’d developed to prevent rejection of transplants. Unfortunately for Donna, her body is refusing to recognize the kidney as one of her own. I may have to remove it altogether.”

He scrubbed his hand through his hair. “I never should have had them put it back in her.”

“You didn’t know,” Rose said.

“All the same I’m responsible,” he said darkly.

“You can’t blame yourself--.” Rose began.

“I’m responsible for every life I bring onto the TARDIS. Everything that happens to anyone who travels with me is my responsibility. This is my fault. If Donna had never met me, never come along on my travels, she wouldn’t be lying here like this now,” the Doctor said.

“No, she would have been spider food a long time ago. She told me how you met, Doctor. You saved her life. She knows the dangers and she still came along anyway. She’s a big girl and she would never blame you for any of this,” Rose told him. “You need to stop dwelling on this.”

“I will when she’s well,” he said a little sharply.

Rose gave his shoulders a light squeeze. “She’ll be okay.”

“I hope so. You should get some rest,” he told her.

“I’ve spent a week in bed. I’m tired of resting,” Rose protested.

“Well, you need it. Why don’t you spend the morning in the garden? I’ll keep Dare with me and bring him to you when he needs a feeding,” the Doctor suggested.

Rose hesitated but she knew there was nothing she could do. Either the Doctor would shake off his mood or he wouldn’t, either Donna would pull through or…well, Donna was just going to have to pull through, that’s all there was to that.

She dropped a kiss on her husband’s forehead. “Let me know if something changes,” she said.

“I will,” he muttered. With a last long look she left him alone with the injured Donna.

For about an hour the Doctor just stared at Donna, but eventually he had to fill the silence. “The thing is, I’ve got everything I’ve ever wanted. I have Rose and you were there to help me get her back. I have Dare and you’ve been wonderful helping us with him, Auntie Donna and bond mother all rolled into one. And we’ve another on the way and the thing is, the thing is, I can’t imagine you not being there for it. I can’t imagine you not being here to watch my children grow up.”

He sighed. “Is it selfish of me to want to keep you as part of my family? I know you have a life to go back to one day, but I was always hoping one day would never happen, that you’d live out your life on the TARDIS with me and Rose and the kids and now…what will I do if I lose you? You’re not just a companion Donna. Rose and I love you like a sister and a best friend. I can’t imagine our life without you in it anymore. I don’t want to.”

He stared at the unresponsive woman. “So, no dying on me and no leaving us, do you understand me, Donna? Because I won’t have it. I’ve already lost too much in this life. And I’ve had a miracle granted. So I know they can be. You’re just going to have to be my second miracle, Donna. You have to get better. Because the universe needs you. And so do I.”

He put down her hand and stood up. “Should have known there’d be no response to the heartfelt plea. I suppose I was expecting epic music and spotlights and you telling me not to be such a talkative git. I’ve really got to stop watching those holovids with Rose.”

The Doctor snicked on a monitoring bracelet that would inform him of any change in Donna’s condition. They’d been a gift from future Dare and future Martha, originally used to monitor Rose’s first pregnancy, but they’d work well enough for Donna now. He put a matching one on Donna’s wrist and picked up the baby, who’d started fussing.

“Let’s go see your mum,” he told the baby. It was a short walk to the garden. The TARDIS must have rearranged itself so Rose didn’t have to walk so far with her injury. He opened the doors and headed towards the waterfall. It was Rose’s favorite place to go in the garden.

She was there, sitting on a flat rock that jutted into the surface of the pond, her legs dangling in the water, one hand holding her side. “Rose?” he asked. “Are you in pain?”

She turned her head and gave him a brief smile then looked back at the water. “I’m all right.”

“If you’re hurting, I can give you something for the pain.” She shrugged. “Rose, look at me.” She sighed and pulled her legs out of the water, turned and stood up with a wince.

“I’m fine, Doctor,” she said. “Is the baby hungry?” She held out her arms and pulled Dare to her. She walked away from the pond a bit so she could sit with her back to a rock and feed the baby.

When the Doctor opened his mouth, most likely to badger her some more about how she felt, she spoke. “How is Donna doing?”

“No change,” he said shortly.

“But she is…she is going to be okay.” Rose paused for a long moment. “Isn’t she?”

The Doctor dropped down beside her, pressing his back to the rock and putting his arm around her shoulders, and his free hand cradled the back of Dare’s head. “I don’t know,” he said, unable to keep the trepidation out of his voice. “I just…don’t know.”

Rose felt tears come into her eyes. “We’ve faced down so many things. Slitheen, Cybermen, Daleks…”

“The human immune system, such a tiny thing, and yet it holds the power over life and death,” he said.

“Death? She could die?” Rose felt the first tear slip free from her eye and fall down her cheek. The Doctor nodded. “But…but…she can’t die. She’s…she’s our family. She’s our Donna. What are we going to do without her?”

“I don’t want to think about it.”

They sat together for a long time, well after Dare had finished nursing and had fallen asleep. It was only when the monitor on his wrist let out a beep that he stirred.

“What is it?” Rose asked, gesturing to the bracelet.

“It’s Donna,” he said, leaping to his feet. As he raced out of the garden he threw back over his shoulder, “Her body’s rejecting the kidney.”

Chapter Thirty-one: A Fear Like This

The Doctor wasn’t sure his feet touched the ground more than once as he flew down the corridor to the infirmary. He was not losing Donna. He’d lost too many people in his life too many times. He was not going to part with another family member. He went to the sink and washed his hands carefully, vaguely aware that Rose had come into the room behind him. He injected an anesthetic and a painkiller into her IV.

She lay Dare down in the infirmary crib and came over beside him, washing her hands when he had finished. “What can I do to help?” she asked.

He handed her a bottle of orange liquid and some gauze. “Clean the surgery site with this.” He took the surgical equipment out of the sterilizer and set it on a tray, going over the tools he would need. They quickly changed into scrubs. After everything was prepared they both washed their hands again and pulled on latex gloves and surgical masks.

With a deep breath the Doctor lifted the laser scalpel and with a deft slice began the intricate process of removing Donna’s kidney. As each blood vessel was severed he cauterized it with the laser. When the organ was free at last he lifted it out, disposing of it in a medical waste chute. Carefully he closed the incision and then moved the tissue regenerator over the surgical site and flicked it on.

It had all taken a bit over an hour. As they disposed of their scrubs and the remnants of the surgery they avoided looking into each other’s eyes. The Doctor loaded the sterilizer with the laser scalpel and the clamps he had used. He placed a hand on Donna’s forehead and didn’t need to take her temperature to tell that her fever was raging. He didn’t particularly like the color of her skin, either. She was far too pale. Still, her pulse was strong and that was a little reassuring.

Finally he met his wife’s eyes. They were full of compassion and sympathy and a little bit of fear. He walked across the room and pulled her to him in a fierce hug. When he let her go he said, “Stay with her. I’m going to program the TARDIS to take us back to Torchwood. I’d feel better with Owen or Martha monitoring her condition. I can do medical in an emergency, but…” He shrugged. “I’d rather two of the best medical doctors I know look after her right now.”

Rose nodded and he left the room. He gave a half smile when he reached the console and saw that the TARDIS had already brought up the correct program and all he had to do was push the buttons and levers and knobs to implement the flight. “Thank you,” he said, stroking the console softly. The TARDIS gave a soft hum and he hurried to finish sending the ship on her way.

Six hours passed while he and Rose sat with Donna. Rose left twice to bring him a meal and tea, which he ate without ever knowing what food touched his lips. He was vaguely aware of her feeding and changing Dare a couple of times, but his attention stayed focused on Donna. He talked nearly the entire time, telling Rose about all of the different adventures he’d had with the boisterous redhead before he and Rose had reunited.

It was evident in every word how much he cared for Donna, how she had been responsible for making his life fun again after he’d spent a year in mourning. “Not that I ever got over you, Rose. It wasn’t that. It was just that she helped me find my way out of the darkness in a way Martha wasn’t able to.”

Rose nodded and rested her head against his shoulder. The TARDIS had recognized the urgency and had taken the most direct path it could and when it materialized inside the hub the Doctor hurried to push the bed directly out the door and into the autopsy chamber, Rose following closely with the IV pole. Not the most inviting of places, but it was where Owen did his work and had his tools.

Gwen and Owen had come running at the sound of the TARDIS and Martha was not far behind. It only took the two doctors an instant to understand what was going on and they rushed to hook her up to their equipment while Gwen went to call Jack who was out on a case with Ianto and Tosh.

“How long’s it been since we were here last?” Rose asked Gwen.

“Two months,” said Gwen. “Jack’s recovered nicely. Andromeda says he still has nightmares, though.”

“Does she come by often?” Rose asked.

Gwen nodded. “A couple times a week. She’s been consulting on a case.”

Owen emerged from the chamber and said, “She’s got some kind of infection, an alien bacteria of some sort the like of which I’ve never seen. I’ve started her on broad spectrum antibiotics and Martha has introduced a strain of nanotechnology into her bloodstream that has proven useful in the past against alien infections. All we can really do now is wait and see. Why don’t you and Rose get some sleep? You look exhausted.”

“I’ll look after Dare,” Gwen said.

“I just fed him and changed him, so he should be good for a few hours,” Rose told her. She handed the baby over to Gwen. “I’ve got a couple of bottles of breast milk in the freezer, just a moment.” She popped into the TARDIS to fetch them, grabbed a couple of nappies as well and handed them to Gwen on her return. Then she and the Doctor turned back towards the TARDIS. They stumbled through the corridors to their bedroom and after shucking off their clothes, slid into bed together. The Doctor pulled Rose as close to him as was physically possible.

Neither one of them tried to reassure the other that Donna would survive. Right now they’d just be words. Instead they simply held onto each other as fiercely as they could until gradually they both relaxed into sleep.

Rose woke first. That was a rarity but then the Doctor had hardly slept at all on Hoton, so worried about first her and then Donna, not to mention fomenting a revolution among the villagers of Phobos. Or Elpis, as Erinnah had renamed it. She propped herself up on one elbow to look at him. His face was relaxed but she could see where the worry lines were starting to take their toll.

She felt a twinge in her side and shifted her position. She really needed to spend some more time under the tissue regenerator. Donna was in capable hands now and she no longer needed to push aside her own injury for the sake of her friend. With a sigh of reluctance she slid out of the bed and padded down the corridor to the infirmary.

Shifting the tissue regenerator into place she lay down on the table and then reached up and turned it on, making sure it was centered over the arrow wound. An hour later she turned the machine off and headed back to the bedroom. She could feel a difference already, though she knew she needed at least two more sessions under the device.

She slipped back into bed with the Doctor, cuddling into him. He pulled her closer reflexively, never waking. He must have really been pushing himself harder than she thought. She smiled and pressed a kiss to his side before closing her eyes and drifting off to sleep again.

The next time Rose woke up it was to the feeling of someone staring at her. She opened her eyes and saw Jack standing at the foot of the bed. “Jack?”

“Hello, Rose,” he said. “Gwen said to tell you that Dare’s gone through both bottles and both nappies that you left and he’s sounding hungry.”

“Okay, I’ll be right out.” She sat up, keeping the sheet over her body. “Jack,” she said warningly when he didn’t exit the room.

“What?” he asked innocently.

“Out.”

“You’re no fun anymore, Rose,” he said with a pout but he turned and left the room, closing the door behind him. She found her clothes and dressed quickly. She retrieved a bag of supplies and headed out of the TARDIS to find Gwen and Dare, leaving the sleeping Doctor behind.

“How is she?” Rose asked Gwen, taking the fussing Dare from the other woman and laying him down on the floor to change him and then settling down to nurse him.

“There’s been no change,” said Gwen. “She’s still unconscious, still running a high fever, but her pulse is strong.” Rose sighed. Gwen put a comforting hand on her shoulder. “We’ve pulled people back from far worse than this. We’re not going to give up on Donna without a fight.”

Rose tried to find reassurance in the Welsh woman’s words, but deep inside her she was still afraid. Her heart felt it was already too late.

Ch. 32&33: http://amberfocus.livejournal.com/93948.html