Life Viewed Through an Amber Focus

I mean, I really, really hate pain.  Abdominal pain/stomach pain is probably the worst.  About 5 p.m. yesterday I stopped being able to keep any food down for many hours.  This also includes being able to keep down painkillers.  Which I think were most of the problem anyway, since I was allowed to pick whether I took one or two pills depending on my pain level.  Yeah, I made the mistake of taking two at 4:50 and my stomach can't handle that much percocet.  Do you know how bad it is to throw up five times in eight hours when you've just had abdominal surgery?  Everything clenches, everything hurts even worse than before.  It was a nightmare.  I'm still not completely over it.  I refrained from taking painkillers all night but was still throwing up.  I managed to use ice packs for the worst of the pain and fell asleep in self defense for a bit.

Finally at 9 a.m. I ate two crackers and was able to drink a glass of water.  When that stayed down I took one pain pill at 9:30 and slept until 11:30.  Now I'm just waiting for 1:30 to roll around so I can take another pill.  I have eaten two more crackers since then and one plum and am working on another glass of water.  My stomach still is roiling though, even with Tums and a Zantac.  I am thinking about switching to hydrocodone since I have some leftover from my knee surgery and have a tolerance for it, only it is not really strong enough.

I am running a low grade fever of 99.0.  This is a bit higher than it seems since my regular body temperature is 97.8.  But they are not worried about it unless the temp goes to 101.  I am so hot it is ridiculous.  I feel like I'm being roasted and then it will swing to being cold (but not often enough).  And my back hurts.  I think I have a rib head out of place and badly need to see the chiropractor but I don't think I could handle an adjustment to the area that needs it because it would hurt my stomach.  Did I mention I hate pain?

I now return you to your regularly scheduled whine free afternoon.

The doctor upped my milligrams today and it has made me somewhat loopy, but the pain is better.  I was able to write today.  It actually flowed out in a way it hasn't done in I can't remember how long.  I finished chapter 46 of You're What? and it has been sent to beta and I've started on chapter 31 of Leap of Faith.  I kind of hope this continues.  I'd like to finish You're What? before my surgery.  If I can keep this roll up I might actually be able to do that as it only has a few more chapters to go.  But I won't go counting my chickens before they hatch, that's for sure.

Thanks to everyone for the lovely words of encouragement yesterday.  It meant a lot to me.

*HUGS YOU ALL*

I am having an extremely bad pain day.  Vicodin doesn't even seem to touch it.  I feel like a walking pharmacy.  I guess it's a good thing I finished and posted chapter thirty of Leap of Faith last night because I never would have been able to do it today.  18 days until my surgery.  I wish they could also take out the damn pain center in my brain while they are at it.  And also my knee chose today to act up as well.  I am seriously feeling sorry for myself.  I hate it when I get like this.  I am generally such an optimist, but right now I just want to curl up in a dark room and sleep my life away.  And I'm pretty sure I'm getting a UTI, just for the fun topper on that particular cake.  Since my pre-op appointment is on Thursday, I'm really hoping not, because I can't be sick or they'll cancel the surgery.  I've drunk about a gallon of cranberry juice.  I hate being so miserable and having such a bad attitude.  It isn't me and I don't like it.