Leap of Faith: Chapter Fifteen

[amberfocus]

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Title:  Leap of Faith (15/?)
Author:  amberfocus
Characters/Pairings:  John Smith (alt!Nine)/Rose Tyler, Toshiko Sato, Jake Simmonds, Mickey Smith, Ianto Jones, Jackie Tyler/Pete Tyler, Tony Tyler, various original characters
Genre:  Romance, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe
Rating:  Adult
Betas:  amyo67, jeprdyfrndly
Summary:  Hiding from the Family of Blood, the alt!Ninth Doctor turns himself into John Smith via the chameleon arch and with his companion Toshiko Sato, takes a job at Torchwood.  He clashes with everyone he meets and Rose Tyler, the beautiful young director of Torchwood Field Operative Training and the daughter of his boss, is no exception.  AU after season 2 and based mostly, but not completely, on my short story Third Time's the Charm:  http://amberfocus.livejournal.com/319447.html, but it is not necessary to have read that.
A/N:  And we add some fluff to the mix finally.  Big fluffy fluff from the planet Fluffania.  Special thanks to honorh for helping with Japanese names again.

Previous Chapters:  http://amberfocus.livejournal.com/327895.html

Chapter Fifteen: Starting to Fall
 

Rose and John had finished at the market by ten thirty and when they returned to the complex had gone their separate ways to put away their purchases. Although John had said he would be right back, Rose began to feel more and more anxious when a half an hour passed and he didn’t reappear. Despite his protestations that he did domestic, maybe shopping with her had been too much. Yet, he’d appeared to be enjoying himself. Rose didn’t know what to think, but was starting to feel like ever opening herself up to him had been a bad idea.

She fiddled around the flat doing all the necessary things that she had been ignoring, like dishes and dusting and vacuuming and laundry to distract herself. She had no intention of going over to his flat, banging on the door, and demanding he explain himself. Just because they’d had a lovely morning did not give her the right to expect anything else from him and she didn’t want to act like it did, even if it was driving her crazy that he’d said he’d come right back but hadn’t. This was a friendship, not a romance, and she was not going to be clingy.

The phone rang and she leapt on it. “Hello?” she said anxiously.

“Rose, what’s the matter?” It was her mum.

“Nothing,” Rose said immediately tensing up. “I was just expecting someone else to call.”

“I suppose it was that John fellow. Rose, I’m not entirely sure I like the idea of you getting involved with him. What do you know about him anyway? And he’s so much older than you, though not as old as the Doctor was, but still you can’t possibly think it’s a good idea to hook up with him. You really ought to—.”

“Mum, enough!” Rose said irritably. “No one’s hooking up with anyone.”

“You say that now, Rose, but I know you. Once you get an idea in your head you won’t let it go.”

“Wonder where I get that from?” she said sharply. “I’ve told you, John and I are just friends.”

“And I told you, you always say that but next thing I know I’ll be seeing you in the papers getting the life snogged out of you on some street corner.”

“Well, it’ll serve you right for reading those rags, then, won’t it?” Rose said rolling her eyes. “And what would be so wrong with it anyway if I wanted to be with him?”

“Rose, you’re joking! You can’t seriously—.”

“I thought you thought I already was,” she interrupted again.

“I don’t like this, Rose. Not one bit. I haven’t even met the bloke yet. A mother should know who her daughter’s keeping company with,” Jackie said.

“You know who.”

“But I don’t know him, do I? You really need to bring him round,” Jackie insisted.

“He doesn’t do mothers,” Rose said.

“I’m not just any mother,” Jackie said indignantly.

“To him you are,” Rose said. “Just…stay out of this, Mum.”

“That’s not my nature,” Jackie said peevishly.

“If I want to see him, I’m gonna see him and you’re just going to have to deal with it,” Rose said.

“Just so long as you keep it out of the papers,” her mother admonished. The door bell rang and Rose sighed in relief.

“I’ve got to go. Someone’s at the door. Bye, Mum,” she said and hung up before Jackie could say anything further. Rose checked her watch. It had been an hour and a half since John had left her. He’d better have a good reason for being this late.

She opened the door. John stood there with a blanket over one arm and a large picnic hamper in the other. “Fancy a picnic?” he asked her with his most charming smile.

“You…made a picnic lunch?”

“Yeah,” he said sounding proud of himself. “I took longer than I expected. Tosh called in the middle of my preparations and needed to talk quite badly.”

“How is she?” Rose asked slipping into her shoes and reaching for her jacket, her annoyance at being left hanging vanishing.

“Bearing up under it all. She always does,” he said. “She’s a strong woman.”

“And her grandmother?”

“She got to talk to her, but the doctors expect she’ll go tonight or early tomorrow. Her brother Hikaru is with her and they’re leaning on each other since her mum’s pretty much lost in grief right now,” he said.

“Wish there was something I could do,” Rose said.

“I know.” Rose stepped out of the flat and locked the door and gestured for John to lead the way. Where he led them was to the car park.

“What are we doing here?” she asked.

“The park I want to go to isn’t really within walking distance,” he said.

“Oh. I didn’t realize you had a car,” she said.

“I don’t use it much.” They got into the lift and went up to the third floor. His space was nearby and Rose stared in consternation while he popped the boot on a sleek red convertible. “What?” he said glancing at her sideways while he put the hamper away and closed the boot.

“You have a convertible,” she said. “You just don’t strike me as the convertible sort.”

“What sort do I strike you as?” he asked with a laugh.

“I don’t know. Guess I was thinking of a Hummer to go with your personality. Big, bold, takes up the whole car park,” she said.

“Nah. Bad for the environment,” he said. “And a bit too military for my liking. Spent enough time with UNIT and that sort to want a constant reminder of it when I drive. I did get the larger model of this one, though. Needed room to stretch out me long legs.” He unlocked the car and opened her door for her.

“There you go being a gentleman again,” Rose commented.

“Take that back,” he said one corner of his mouth quirking up in his half smile.

“Not gonna. So why did you decide on this car?” she asked when they were both settled inside. He started the engine and backed out. “I liked it. Besides, a man’s vehicle should be a bit sexier than he is.”

“I can’t even imagine they make a car that sexy,” Rose said before she realized she was saying it out loud. She clapped a hand over her mouth and then very bravely turned to look at John. He was grinning so smugly at her comment that he looked exactly like the cat that got the cream.

“You think I’m sexy?” he said in a softly teasing voice.

She decided to own it. “Yes.”

“Rose Tyler thinks I’m sexy,” he sing-songed as he made his way round the winding ramp that led to the outside world and paused at the big gate to grin at her. It lifted.

“Shut up,” she said rolling her eyes and punching him in the shoulder lightly. “Let’s go.”

Still smirking happily, John pulled out of the car park and into traffic. The drive was about ten miles and took them to a park Rose had never visited before. This area had been housing in her old universe, but here it was a beautiful swathe of grass, trees, and early spring flowers. The air was a bit brisk so John hadn’t put the roof back on the drive over. Rose supposed that would have to wait another month or so when the weather had truly warmed enough.

John pulled into a parking space and they got out of the car. John opened the boot and handed Rose the blanket then retrieved the picnic hamper. He closed the lid and locked the car, slipping his keys into his pocket and then offering Rose his free arm. She grinned, murmured, “Gentleman,” again and took it. He didn’t protest her comment this time, though he did give her a slightly scathing look that made her giggle.

They walked for a little bit until they were in view of a large pond. Rose spread the blanket and they sat down on it. John unpacked the hamper while Rose’s gaze was drawn to the pond where some kind of toy boat derby seemed to be going on. Several men, two women, and a handful of little boys and girls stood on the shore with remote control devices while their little sailboats made their way around little buoys in the pond or raced back and forth. She smiled. It was exactly the sort of thing Tony would adore. A photographer snapped pictures of the event, seeming to focus more on the children than the adults in the contest.

“There we are,” John said and Rose turned her attention back to him and the picnic spread. John had packed fruit, cheeses, deli meats and a thick loaf of crusty bread. Small bottles of condiments had been spread out and he’d brought a bottle of sparkling cider since he didn’t want to drink wine and then drive. Rose took the plate he gave her and assembled her sandwich to her liking while he did the same, then poured the cider into plastic cups.

“Did you do your shopping this morning with this picnic in mind?” she asked him.

“Might have done,” he said with a smile.

“You know for all your prickly exterior, when it all gets stripped away, I think you’re just a sweet, charming man, John Smith,” she said.

“I am not sweet,” John said darkly.

“But you’ll allow for charming?” she asked.

“When I want to be,” he said. “When I want something.”

“And what is it that you want?” she asked him, her heart beginning to pound rapidly when he turned those dark eyes on her. The blue was almost gone and they were nearly black.

“I think you know the answer to that, Rose Tyler.” His eyes dropped from hers to her mouth and then moved back up to her eyes again. She swallowed hard and broke the lock he had on her gaze. She looked back at the boat race and got her hormones back under control before chancing a glance back at him. He was still staring at her, an open look of desire on his face.

“This was a good idea coming to the park. I don’t get enough fresh air these days it seems.”

“Rose.”

“Except on field assignments and since those don’t involve this sort of relaxation I don’t think they really count,” she continued.

“Rose,” he repeated.

“That looks like fun, doesn’t it?” she said pointing to the pond a bit desperately. “Have you ever raced boats like that?”

He sighed loudly and turned his attention to the pond. “Not like that, no, but I’ve done it once or twice on the life size version.”

“Sounds like fun,” she said.

“Not when you’re being shot at,” he said.

“Oh, do tell,” she said. She felt great relief, but at the same time terrible disappointment when John settled into story-telling mode, relaying some of his activities with UNIT and Toshiko. She had wanted him to stop hinting at what he’d been hinting at, yet at the same time she’d wanted him to pursue it. She dug her nails into her palms trying to clear her confusion from her mind with a slight jolt of pain.

She finished eating and cleared a spot on the blanket big enough for her to stretch out on and looked up at the big, fluffy white clouds drifting across the light blue sky. She listened to him talk about his adventures and made comments at the appropriate places. When he cleared away the rest of the food and lay down beside her she had drifted into a sort of cotton ball haze from his soothing voice, the fresh autumn air, and the warmth of the sun on her face.

He continued to speak and it lulled her into complacency so when she felt his hand taking hers and lacing their fingers together she didn’t try to pull it away. She liked the way his hand felt around hers, big and strong and right. It had been a long time since she’d held hands with a man. It was such a simple act and yet at the right time and with the right person, it could mean so much. Their hands fit perfectly together and it gave her a tiny pang of betrayal. The last time her hand had fit so well into a man’s hand it had been the Doctor’s hand.

That wasn’t fair to even be thinking though. The Doctor of all people would have wanted her to get on with her life when there was no way for them to be together. He wouldn’t have wanted her to grieve for him forever, though he probably wouldn’t be too keen on her being interested in a man who wore his face. She wasn’t too keen on it either, but she knew that it was likely a very moot point now. Interested she was, no matter how hard she wanted to resist it. It would be so much easier if he’d just go back to treating her like he thought she was an airhead heiress. If she didn’t know better she’d think that everything he’d done since they were in the infirmary together had been designed to woo her.

She didn’t realize he’d stopped talking until the silence had hung between them for a few minutes. His breathing was slow and even and she rolled towards him to see if he was still awake. His eyes were closed. “You sleeping?” she asked softly, feeling a little guilty that she’d kept him from getting a solid night’s rest in a bed the night before.

“Just relaxing,” he told her. “Sun feels nice.”

“It does, yeah,” she said lying back down.

“John?” she said several minutes later.

“Yes?”

“Have you ever been in love?” she asked.

“I’m 43 years old, Rose. I think it’s safe to assume that I’ve been in love before,” he said in a voice that sounded slightly offended.

“Yeah, but…have you? Have you been in the kind of soul-searing love that seems like it’s your whole life; that it’s what you live every day for, the kind that everyone dreams about having? Have you ever been in that sort of love?” she wanted to know.

“Once,” he said shortly. “A long time ago.”

“Will you tell me about her?” Rose asked.

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because it still hurts to think about it,” he said.

“Was it Josie?” she asked.

“No, Rose, it wasn’t,” John said sitting up and pulling his hand away from hers. Rose sat up, too. His jaw was clenched and he was looking off into the distance.

“John, I’m sorry. I just…I wanted to know about you. About your past. About the sort of man you are,” she said.

“I’m the sort of man who doesn’t want to talk about past lovers when he’s with—.” John stopped abruptly, his mouth snapping shut. Rose could almost hear the words, ‘when he’s with a future lover,’ being held back.

Rose sighed and stared at the boats again, her knees tucked under her chin and her arms wrapped around her shins. “Do you think you can ever get over that sort of love?” she asked.

“Get over? I don’t know. Push it to the back of your mind and store it in a safe little box that you only take out when you’re feeling particularly sorry for yourself? Yes,” he said.

“When is it long enough to think about moving on?” she asked with sadness heavy in her tone.

“I think when you’re asking yourself that question you’ve probably hit that time,” he said.

“When did you?” she asked.

“I don’t know. A couple years on,” he said. “It took a while.”

“So if Josie wasn’t that woman, what was she to you?” Rose asked.

“Josie was the woman who made me think I might have a chance of getting over Ro,” he said.

“Ro?”

“Childhood sweetheart. She married another man,” he said. “My childhood best friend.” His voice was sharp and brittle.

“I’m sorry.”

John shrugged. “It’s in the past. Don’t know how you managed to get me to talk about her when I didn’t want to.”

“Sometimes it’s easier to open up to a stranger,” Rose said.

“But we’re not really strangers, are we, Rose? Not anymore,” he said.

“I don’t know what we are, John,” Rose said.

“I’m not sure either. Why did you come here with me, Rose? Are you just lonely? Or is there something else?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” Rose said. “I just…felt like spending more time with you.”

“Is it because I remind you of him?” he asked. She could see his heart in his eyes.

“No, it’s not,” Rose said flatly. “You’re nothing like him. You are very distinctly your own person. I don’t think that way.”

“So when you’re with me, you really just want to be with me?” he asked. There was a note of something in his voice, she wouldn’t quite label it pleading, but it was a desperate sort of need to be accepted for who and what he was.

“Yes,” she said. “I have no clue why, but believe it or not I like you, John Smith. Just you, as you are, even when you’re being a pain in the arse. I’ve seen who you really are and that’s the man I want to know better.” An indefinable tension seemed to leave him.

“That’s good.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes,” he said. “So if you’re not sick of me yet, Rose, how about dinner and a film tonight?” he asked.

“Why not?” she said with a smile. “Though it means we’re not going to get much more of Firefly watched.”

“There’s always tomorrow,” he told her.

She grinned. “That there is. Can we go for a walk around the park?” she asked.

“Sure. Let’s just pack this stuff up and dump it in the car first,” he said. They stuffed everything back into the hamper and folded up the blanket between them. Five minutes later they stepped onto one of the graveled paths that wound through the park.

“I’d like a closer look at the toy boats,” Rose said. John nodded and she felt him take her hand again. She looked down at the clasped digits and then shyly back up at him. On the blanket it had just felt sort of like a natural progression of things, but now it was as if the fact that he was holding her hand was in big neon letters sprayed across the sky.

“This all right?” he asked at her hesitation.

She nodded. “Yeah, just…new.” She took a step forward and then another, tugging him along behind her until he caught up. It didn’t take long to get back to the pond and Rose laughed in delight as she watched the antics of the little boats.

“You can try it if you like,” said a little boy of about ten years old offering her his remote. “Mine’s the big blue one.”

“Really?” Rose asked.

“Jamie, don’t bother the lady. Don’t you know who she is?” said a matronly woman with a strong resemblance to the boy. Likely his mother.

“Sure I do,” the little boy said rolling his eyes. “Seen her in your papers all the time. So you want to or what?” he asked.

“I’d love it, thank you, Jamie,” Rose said. “I’m Rose.”

“I know,” he said thrusting the remote at her.

She took the device. “How’s it work now?”

“Simple,” he said. “Toggle goes up for straight ahead, back for reverse, left for port, and right for starboard,” he told her.

“How do I make it stop?” she asked.

“Just let up on it,” he said.

Rose smiled at the little boy and then took a turn running his boat around the pond. The derby had finished a half hour earlier and Jamie was chatting to John about how he’d come in first place in the under twelves. Jamie’s mum was still standing there in shock. She didn’t care; she was having far too much fun.

“Miss Tyler?” a faintly recognizable voice asked from off to the right.

“Yes,” she said without turning to look.

“Would you mind if I took some pictures of you? I’m covering the derby.” She let up on the toggle and turned to look at the photographer.

“Tim,” she said recognizing the young man who had waylaid them earlier that morning.

“Didn’t you get enough this morning?” she asked.

“Not going to use those, Miss,” he said. “Not after what you said.”

“I’m not much of a story,” Rose said. “It’s Jamie here who’s won the under twelves. Brilliant sailor, this one.” She motioned to the boy who was looking flummoxed.

“How about a photo of the boy with you and your boyfriend?” he asked.

“Well, that’s up to his mum, of course,” Rose said. “And John.”

Jamie’s mum was only too happy to have her son photographed with the Rose Tyler, but John opted out. “Should be his day, don’t you think?” he said of the boy.

“Yeah, but he’ll be on the front page with both of us in it,” she said. “Think of the bragging rights he’ll get with his mates if he’s on the front page of The Sun.”

“True,” John said and they posed for a couple pictures with Jamie while his mum looked over the moon. The boy then complained about starving to death so Rose gave back the remote, the boy brought his boat in, and his mother bustled him away.

“Don’t suppose I could get a good one of you and John so I could secure my own bragging rights?” the photographer asked wistfully. “I could about pay off my student loan with it.”

John rolled his eyes. Rose sighed. “Mr. Latimer, we’re trying to have a nice day out together,” John said. “And I know you were taking them of our picnic with the telephoto lens,” he said.

“That wasn’t me,” Tim said. “That was Baines with the Daily Mirror. He was bragging about getting some shots of you out at breakfast, too.”

Rose frowned. “I have no privacy in this town.” Still, considering what a buttinski her mother was being right now, she might as well use this photographer to her advantage. Images in two papers would really get her mother going. Maybe it was awful of her, but she just wanted her mother to stop nagging her about John. Maybe if she saw that Rose was serious about the relationship, whatever it turned out to be, Jackie would back off. And if not, well, it would serve Jackie right to have to deal with the fall out. She turned to Tim. “Well, John, what do you think? A couple good ones for Tim here, to put up against the bloke at the Mirror?”

“I told you before that I don’t mind getting photographed with you. Your mum will go ballistic though,” he reminded her.

“Good,” Rose said under her breath. “What do you want, Tim?”

“A kiss?” he asked hopefully.

Rose glared at him. “I don’t think so. Please remember we’re doing you a favor.”

“A hug?” he asked.

“That we can manage,” John said pulling Rose into his arms and holding her tightly. Her arms snaked around him in return. Tim got photos from both sides, and then some of Rose pulling back, smiling and looking up at John, shaking her head as he laughed down at her.

“You can release me now,” she said. “I think you’re enjoying this far too much.”

“Thanks,” Tim said. “I really do appreciate it, especially after this morning,” he said.

Rose nodded and then turned away from him. “Come on, John, let’s finish that walk,” she said. They returned to the path and when Rose was sure they were out of sight took her hands out of her jacket pockets and let them dangle at her side. Her left one didn’t stay that way long, easily being caught up and enfolded back in John’s. She tried not to grin that he’d done precisely what she’d wanted him to do.

“You didn’t correct him, you know,” John said after a little while.

“Correct who?”

“The boy with the camera. You didn’t correct him when he said I was your boyfriend,” John said.

“What would have been the point? The papers are going to print it whether it’s true or not. Denial tends to make everything worse,” she said with a shrug. “Besides, I don’t really care if they think that.”

“Why not?” he asked.

“Because I know the truth and you know the truth and no one else matters,” she said.

“Not even your mum?”

“My mum’s been after me to start dating again for the last year. Serves her right if it appears to be that I’m dating a man twice my age that looks like a man she couldn’t stand,” Rose said.

“I’m not twice your age,” he said. “We’ve been through this before.”

“It’s just age,” Rose said waving it away with her free hand. “I don’t care about that. You could be 900 and if I wanted to spend time with you I would.”

“Don’t think I’d be strolling through a park hand in hand with you if I was 900,” he said with a bark of laughter.

“You’d be surprised,” Rose muttered.

“What?” he asked.

“Nothing. Never mind. So this film you want to go see tonight? What’s it about?” she asked changing the subject.

“I hadn’t actually picked one out, but I’m sure there’s something we can agree on,” he said.

“You can’t pick it apart if we see a sci-fi one,” she warned. “The other patrons would throw their popcorn at us.”

“Well, where’s the fun in that?” he asked.

“We could just stay in. I could cook,” Rose said.

“You can cook?” he asked in surprise.

“I’m a good cook. Don’t sound so amazed. I didn’t grow up with the sort of money where you could get takeaway every night, you know. Mum was rubbish at cooking and I hated eating out of cans, so when I was eleven I took myself down to the library and checked out cookbooks and I taught myself how out of self-defense,” she said.

“Your mum? You mean the woman who raised you,” John said.

Rose tensed. “Yeah, course I do,” she covered quickly. “The woman who raised me was my mum for all intents and purposes.” She hated how awful it suddenly felt to be lying to John. “So I learned to cook well. It’s not hard. You just follow a set of instructions and a little while later you have good food.” She forced herself to relax. “You any good in the kitchen?” she asked.

“I’m good in every room,” he said with a smirk.

Rose bumped him hard in the shoulder with her own. “I meant cooking,” she said.

“I can cook,” he said in a disagreeable voice, “if I have to.”

“Like what?”

“Pie,” he said.

“That’s baking,” she said.

“I don’t mean fruit pies, though I can do a mean apple, I meant pot pies and meat pies and shepherd’s pie and spaghetti pie. If it can go in a pie crust I can pretty much make it.”

“That include quiche?” she asked.

“Yep, and frittata which isn’t a pie, but a strata,” he said. “And of course the traditional cheesy pasta from a box. But mostly I prefer to just get takeaway. It’s easier.”

“Every night?”

“Just about,” he said.

“Then it’s about time you had some real food,” she said. “We’ll stay in, I’ll cook, and you will be blown away by the most delicious food you’ve ever tasted.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Their walk had taken them around the park and they were now back close to where they’d started. It was only a few yards further to the car park and with a sigh of reluctance Rose let go of John’s hand to climb inside the car. She snuck a look at him as he was pulling out of the parking space. Yeah, there was no longer any doubt in her mind that she had started to fall.

Ch. 16: http://amberfocus.livejournal.com/340293.html