Leap of Faith: Chapter Fourteen

[amberfocus]

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Title:  Leap of Faith (14/?)
Author:  amberfocus
Characters/Pairings:  John Smith (alt!Nine)/Rose Tyler, Toshiko Sato, Jake Simmonds, Mickey Smith, Ianto Jones, Jackie Tyler/Pete Tyler, Tony Tyler, various original characters
Genre:  Romance, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe
Rating:  Adult
Betas:  amyo67, jeprdyfrndly
Summary:  Hiding from the Family of Blood, the alt!Ninth Doctor turns himself into John Smith via the chameleon arch and with his companion Toshiko Sato, takes a job at Torchwood.  He clashes with everyone he meets and Rose Tyler, the beautiful young director of Torchwood Field Operative Training and the daughter of his boss, is no exception.  AU after season 2 and based mostly, but not completely, on my short story Third Time's the Charm:  http://amberfocus.livejournal.com/319447.html, but it is not necessary to have read that.

Previous Chapters:  http://amberfocus.livejournal.com/327895.html

Chapter Fourteen: Keeping Company

John rang the doorbell at Rose’s flat. He was early, he knew, but Tosh had said she’d meet him there. Rose opened the door a moment later and from the look on her face he immediately knew something was wrong. “Tosh said I could come,” he said defensively. “But you don’t want me here, do you?”

“Don’t be silly, John,” Rose said in a tired voice. “I asked her to invite you.”

“You don’t look happy to see me.”

“I want you to stay,” she said. “I’m unhappy about something else. Come in.”

“Do I need to take my shoes off like at Tosh’s?” he asked her.

Rose shrugged. “Only if you want to put your feet up on the furniture,” she said.

He smiled, remembering the day they’d met and how he’d had his boots up on her desk and the look of disapproval he’d gotten at that. He bent down and took off his boots, then slipped off his jacket. He hung it on the coat rack and pulled something out of his pocket and handed it to her.

“What’s this?” she asked blankly.

“Hostess gift,” he said with a shrug. “Tosh said you liked chocolate.”

Rose gave him a surprised look and a soft smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. Before he knew what was coming Rose had thrown her arms around him, hugging him tightly. “Thank you,” she said. “I’ve had a crap day. Chocolate makes everything better.” Hesitantly he closed his arms around her, resting his chin on the top of her head. Her hair smelled good, like cocoa butter or something tropical, and he had to stop himself before he took a deep, appreciative sniff. He was sure that would be crossing a line.

“Are you all right, Rose?” he asked when she stayed in the hug longer than he was sure was necessary for a thank you hug.

“Yeah,” she said into his shoulder. “Just…some sad memories came up today and I…needed some comforting.” She pulled back from him and gave him a shy smile. “Thanks.”

“Anytime,” he said softly his heart pounding far too fast for its own good. It was ridiculous how badly he wanted to pull her back into his arms. “So what are we doing tonight?” he asked her.

Rose glanced at her watch. “I’ve got pizza coming in a bit and I figured we could just watch films or play board games or something. It’s not as much fun as going to the Buffalo Bar, but Tosh’s ribs still hurt too much for dancing.”

“What about you?” he asked. “How’s your head doing?”

“As well as can be expected. I’m able to think again, at any rate. She’s probably right about staying in though. How’s your leg doing?” she asked.

“It’s getting better. Walking is much better. Sitting’s still not very comfortable, though. Easier on something like the sofa where I can stretch it out a bit,” he said. “The lab stools at work are torture.”

“Then by all means stretch out,” she said waving him to the sofa. The doorbell rang again and it was the pizza delivery girl. Rose handed over the money and took the food in return. She didn’t shut the door and he looked at her quizzically. “Tosh is coming up the walk,” she explained. A moment later his assistant and best friend appeared at the door.

“Hey, Rose,” she said. “My mother just called. I’m sorry, but I have to cancel on tonight. I need to go home to deal with something. Is John here yet?”

“Yeah.” Rose jerked her head towards him.

“John, I’m going to need to take a week off to go home. My grandmother…”

“She’s died?” he guessed, climbing to his feet.

“No, but…they think she’ll go this weekend. I need to be there for Mum and then for the arrangements and the funeral.”

“Do you need me to go with?” he offered surprising himself and clearly surprising Tosh from the look on her face.

“No, no. My brother will be there. I’ll let you know when I know anything,” she said.

“Tosh, I’m sorry,” Rose said giving her friend a hug.

“It’s not unexpected,” Tosh said. She pulled back from Rose’s hug then looked back at John. He came forward and offered her his own awkward hug. “You’ll have to go to that science symposium without me,” she said pulling away. He nodded. “All right, well, I’ll see you when I see you.”

“Tosh, if you need me, for any reason, call me. I’ll come,” John said.

“Me, too,” Rose said. “I’ll be there in a heartbeat for you.”

“Thank you,” Tosh said, tears welling in her eyes. She turned abruptly away from them. They said their good-byes and Tosh left in a hurry as if something was chasing her. Tosh hated not being in control of her emotions. She was always so careful to stay in control. She must be close to breaking down.

Rose closed the door behind their friend and turned to look at him expectantly. “I can go,” he said.

“No,” she said firmly. “I’ve got all this food and…” A brief sadness settled over her face. “And I don’t feel like being alone right now. Stay with me.” He nodded and she said, “I’ll be right back.” He returned to the sofa and a moment later she returned from what was obviously the kitchen with two plates, a stack of paper towels and two glasses filled with ice.

“It’s not margaritas,” she said gesturing to the bottles of fizzy drinks the pizza girl had brought, “but it’s probably best we don’t get drunk without Tosh around.” Her voice was very matter-of-fact as she said that. He wondered what she was afraid might happen if they did get drunk without Tosh around. It was an intriguing thought, but he knew better than to pursue it. If he and Rose were ever to have something physical, he wanted them both sober for it. Not that it was ever likely to happen, but he’d want her to remember it if it did.

“So…what do you want to do then?” he asked picking up a slice of the pizza, slipping it onto a plate and bringing the whole thing up to his mouth. “Ow, hot,” he complained as he took a bite. “But so good. Where’s this from?”

“Gina’s. A little Italian place about a quarter mile from Iago’s,” she said. “Best Italian food in London. Definitely the best pizza. And um…I’ve got films and television series or we can play games.”

“Most of those games are no good with just two players,” he said.

“Well, there’s Scrabble, or Boggle, or chess.”

“You play chess?” he asked in surprise.

“Yeah,” she said a little tightly and looked away. He realized then who had taught her. He didn’t fancy playing a game that reminded her of her ex. He stood up and walked over to the wall shelves that held her collection of discs and perused the titles. His hand settled on one and he pulled it out to look at it. “You sure have a lot of this one.”

She got up and went to see what he’d pulled out. “Best series ever,” she told him.

“What’s it about?”

“Where’ve you been that you don’t know?” she asked.

He shrugged. “Don’t watch a lot of telly, me.”

“It’s a science fiction space opera with cowboys,” she said.

“Okay.”

“No, but it’s good,” she said at his tone. “It’s still on telly. Season Eight. People like it.”

“Prove it,” he said.

She gave him a half smile. “How many days you got, John? Because once we start, you’re not gonna want to stop.”

“That an invitation for me to hang around all weekend?” he asked hopefully.

She froze for a moment then met his eyes. “If…if you want,” she said her eyes flitting away from his. “I’m not doing anything.”

“I would love to spend the weekend with you, Rose,” he said. She blushed and worried her hands nervously then met his eyes again and gave him a soft smile.

He grinned back and went to settle on the sofa again as Rose slipped in disc one of season one of Firefly. He smiled even wider when she sat down right beside him instead of on the opposite side of the couch. He felt bad for Tosh, he really did, but he couldn’t help liking it that for the next couple of days he was going to have Rose Tyler completely to himself. It was a compliment to the writing and acting that he was only half aware of Rose’s thigh pressing against his for the next few hours.

Of course all of that changed near the beginning of the second disc when she slowly leaned into him, her head resting on his shoulder. It wasn’t possible to ignore her closeness then. “Rose?” he asked softly. There was no response. “Rose?” he said a bit louder. The only response he got was slow, even breathing. She had fallen asleep against him. He smiled. The fact that she now felt comfortable enough in his presence to be able to sleep pleased him to a ridiculous extent.

When he started getting pins and needles in his shoulder he shifted a little, wiggling his arm behind her so that he could rest it around her shoulders. She snuggled a bit closer into him, but didn’t wake. He grinned again and returned his attention back to the show. By the time the second disc was over, Rose had slowly slumped down until her head rested in his lap and she’d shifted so that her legs, which had been tucked up next to her had stretched out. He ought to wake her up and go home. He knew he should, but he was so incredibly content to stay like this that he didn’t want to ruin the moment.

He glanced at his watch. It was late. Or early depending on how you looked at it. He smiled softly down at the sleeping woman and then tilting his head back against the sofa, closed his own eyes and followed her into dreamland.



Rose woke slowly. The dim glow from the TV screen and the sun peeping through the front curtains lit the room and the disc in the player was cycling incessantly through the opening shots of the menu over and over again. She wasn’t sure what had brought her back to the waking world. Her head rested in John’s lap. That surprised her, both that he would allow her to stay like that and that she was there in the first place. She vaguely remembered her eyes getting heavy and that she’d leaned her head against his shoulder. She must have zonked out shortly after that and shifted into a more comfortable position in her sleep.

One of his hands rested on her waist. She could feel his pinky on the bare skin between her top and the waist of her jeans where her shirt had rucked up. It was just setting there, not doing anything it shouldn’t be and for a few seconds she almost wished it was. The other hand stroked softly through her hair. Ah, that must have been what had brought her out of dreamland. She’d never been able to sleep through anyone touching her hair. She lay still under his touch. It was so tender it made her heart ache. Did he care for her? Could he really? Could she believe that anything would ever work between them when he wore the Doctor’s face? Did she even want to think about trying?

Abruptly she sat up and John’s hands fell away. She yawned loudly. “I fell asleep.”

“Your powers for stating the obvious are a miraculous thing,” he said in a sarcastic but amused tone.

Rose ignored him. “I’m sorry I fell asleep on you.”

“I didn’t mind,” he said.

“But it’s been all night,” Rose said. “You didn’t get any sleep.”

“Oh, I did,” he said glancing at his watch. “Least six hours. Don’t really need all that much. Just been awake for a few minutes myself. Was gonna shift you pretty soon if you didn’t wake up, though. Where’s your loo?”

Rose pointed. “End of the hall.” She watched him until he disappeared into it and then got up and stretched, before heading to her bedroom. She brushed through her hair and changed her clothes, then went to use the loo herself. She washed off the makeup she’d fallen asleep in and didn’t bother to reapply it. When she wandered back out there was no sign of John, but she heard some noises coming from the kitchen. She entered the room and saw John staring into the fridge.

“It’s empty,” he said.

She glanced in at the one egg, the bottle of curry sauce, and a near empty quart of milk. “Now who’s stating the obvious?” Rose asked. “I usually shop for the week on Saturdays. I didn’t last weekend because we were in the infirmary and I haven’t felt like navigating the market on my own when I’m still getting dizzy spells.”

“You can order it delivered,” he said.

“I like to pick out my own food,” she said. “They never do as good a job as I do.”

“Yeah, but if you’re still getting dizzy…”

“I’m doing better now. I’ll go later today.”

“Well, how about I take you out to breakfast, then? My fridge is about like yours,” he said sweeping his hand up and down the empty shelves.

“Okay,” Rose said.

“Got any suggestions of where to go?” he asked.

“Yeah, there’s a great little place within walking distance.” She yawned again and went to find her shoes and her purse. John tugged on his boots and his jacket. They stepped out onto the balcony only to be greeted by a strong light flashing like a strobe in their faces, blinding them. Automatically Rose’s hand dove into her purse pulling out her weapon and aiming it towards the strobe before she got her vision back.

“Rose, it’s just a photographer!” John warned.

Rose kept her gun aimed as her vision slowly refocused and she saw a terrified looking young man cowering with a camera. “You’re trespassing on Torchwood property,” Rose said sharply. “Hasn’t anyone ever told you it’s not smart to surprise a Torchwood operative?”

“I just—I just—I just wan—wanted a—a picture,” the man stammered.

With her other hand Rose fished in her jacket pocket for her mobile, flipped it open, and punched some buttons without even looking. She held it to her ear, her gun hand still steady on the photographer. “Hello, security,” a deep voice said.

“Hi, George,” she said recognizing him. “It’s Rose Tyler. We have a trespasser in the housing complex outside my flat.”

“Is it an alien?” George asked.

“I think he’s from The Sun,” Rose said.

“I thought the Solarians had agreed not to revisit Earth after that last—.”

“Not the literal sun, George!” Rose said in exasperation. “The tabloid.”

“We’re kind of busy to be dealing with the paparazzi, Rose,” he said. “If he isn’t a threat to your personal safety I don’t have anyone to spare. You can bring him in yourself or escort him off the grounds and let him go. It’s up to you.”

“Okay,” Rose said with a frown and hung up on him. She put her phone away and glared at the photographer who looked like he was going to either throw up or wet himself any minute now. “You’ve got a choice, mister. I can take you in to Torchwood and let them deal with you, or I can give you the option of escorting you to the gate and letting you go, but if I do that I want your word that I will never see you on the grounds here again.”

“Y—you won’t,” he said. “I just…they said they’d give me a lot of money and I’m just starting out and—.”

“I don’t want to know why you’re harassing me. I want it not to happen again. This is my home. I expect to have at least one place I can be without someone ambushing me. And if you’re just starting out, then you need to know that sneaking in here could get you killed. Messing with Torchwood employees is dangerous. Operatives like me are always armed. It’s a job requirement,” she said seriously.

“I’m sorry.” He sounded genuinely sincere and still very scared.

“Okay.” Rose put her gun away and said, “Let’s go then.” The man, he couldn’t have been much more than eighteen or nineteen, turned and walked in front of John and Rose as they headed towards the gates. When they reached them Rose stopped him from leaving with a hand on his arm. “What’s your name?” she asked.

“Um…Tim,” he said. “Tim Latimer.”

“James,” Rose called to the guard in the booth by the gate. He stepped out. “I want you to make sure that Tim Latimer here does not come onto the grounds again.” James took a quick photograph that he sent to the computer. It would be printed out and posted on the inside of the booth with the others who had snuck into Torchwood Housing in the past. “All right, Tim, you can go,” Rose said.

“Thanks for not taking me in,” he said.

“Just don’t let it happen again,” Rose said. “My home is off limits.”

“I won’t.”

Tim took off at a brisk jog as if he was afraid Rose would change her mind. “You didn’t get his memory card,” John said.

“I know,” Rose said with a shrug. “If it isn’t him it’ll just be someone else. At least I got to scare the pants off him and he was more polite to me than any other photographer has ever been. Poor kid earned it what with me pointing a gun at him. Besides, it’s just photos of you and me walking out the door of my flat, not some tawdry hotel room. If you’re going to be around me, it’s going to keep happening.”

“I’m going to be around you,” he said quite firmly and Rose couldn’t help but smile.

“Come on,” she said. “It shouldn’t take us more than fifteen minutes to walk there.” She strode off ahead of him and he quickly caught up.

“So it’s going to keep happening, you think?” he asked.

“It’s likely. They haven’t seen me out with a man socially in ages. With those first photos hitting the stands yesterday they’re going to be looking for something really juicy. My hope is that if they see us together often enough doing boring things it’ll blow over,” she told him.

“So snogging you on a street corner is out of the question?”

Rose glanced at him, unsure that he wasn’t half serious, but his expression was innocent. She said, “A street corner wouldn’t be the ideal place for it, certainly.”

“Where would be?” She still couldn’t tell if it was idle curiosity or if he had some greater purpose behind his questioning.

“Somewhere private,” she said then abruptly changed the subject. “I’m in the mood for pancakes. What are you in the mood for?” If he said snogging, she’d be quite tempted to let him, but she was sure he wasn’t serious.

“Sounds good. Maybe with some fruit on.”

Well, that answered that. Simple idle curiosity it was then. Not that she was really ready to kiss him by a long shot. At least not emotionally ready. She didn’t even know him well enough yet to be considering such a thing. Despite her physical attraction to the man, if this had any chance of working she had to decide if she even really liked him and for that to happen she needed to spend time with him and learn more about him. No time like the present, she supposed.

“So where did you grow up?” she asked him.

He gave her a sideways look. “Blantyre,” he said. “It’s in South Lanarkshire.”

“Isn’t that where David Livingstone was from?” she asked.

“Yep,” he said. “Our claim to fame. That and the mining disaster is what we’re known for.”

“Any brothers and sisters?” she asked him.

“Only child,” he said.

“And your parents?”

“Dead about twenty years now. Car crash,” he said.

“I’m sorry.”

“It was a long time ago,” he replied. “We weren’t close.”

“What about your grandparents? Aunts, uncles, cousins?” she asked.

“Got an uncle at UNIT, but he’s a bachelor. Got an aunt in America who had five kids, but I’ve never seen her. Everyone else has passed on,” he said.

“So you’re on your own?”

“Pretty much. There’s Tosh. I’ve never had a sister, but I imagine that’s what it’s like. She feels like family. I don’t make attachments easily,” he told her.

“So no ex-wife and a gaggle of kids somewhere?” she asked with a grin.

“No, never been married. Never fathered children to my knowledge,” he said. “Not that I’m careless about birth control.”

“Do you want kids?” she asked.

“Not particularly,” he said. “Do you?”

“I don’t think so. They don’t exactly go well with the Torchwood lifestyle,” she said.

“That they don’t. The way you are with Tony, I thought you might want them. You looked like you’d be a great mum.”

“I’m a great sister. I’m sure I’ll be a great auntie one day, too, but I’m not sure I’m cut out to be a mother. I’m always so relieved to give him back at the end of a long day,” Rose said. She hesitated a moment then added, “Besides, the Torchwood doctors don’t think I can have kids.”

“Why not?”

Rose shrugged, but inside she was holding her breath. This was one of her biggest secrets, something she didn’t share with just anyone. The sudden urge to tell him the truth was overwhelming. “Something in my DNA is wrong. The best they can figure, I was exposed to something that altered bits of it.”

He didn’t seem the least bit phased by her admission. “Something alien?”

“Had to be. It means that I’m not…I’m not entirely human anymore.”

“Being human’s overrated,” he said with a shrug.

She didn’t know what she’d been expecting, but simple acceptance wasn’t it. She stopped so suddenly that he bumped into her. “Here we are,” she said pointing to the building on their left. “The restaurant is in this building.”

John reached out and grabbed the glass door, swinging it open and gesturing for Rose to go first. “Such a gentleman,” she commented.

“The last thing I am, Rose Tyler, is a gentleman,” he said gruffly, but his ears had turned pink at her compliment.

“Couldn’t prove it by me,” she said.

“Maybe you just make me throw out all the rules in my rulebook,” he said.

“Can’t imagine you ever abiding by anyone’s rules,” she said.

“Just my own.”

They stepped into the restaurant and the host greeted them. “Table for two?” he asked. Rose nodded and the man grabbed two menus and led them to a private booth in the back. “This all right?” he asked.

“It’s perfect,” she said. They sat down and were given their menus. Both were silent for a while as they studied their choices. Rose ended up ordering blueberry pancakes and two soft-poached eggs, while John picked out pancakes covered in strawberries, bananas, and whipped cream, bacon, sausage, and a huge slab of ham. When the food came Rose commented that his pancakes looked more like a dessert than a breakfast.

“You’re just jealous.”

“Might be at that,” she said.

He dipped his fork into the fruit and whipped cream and offered it to her. “I’ll share a bite,” he said.

Rose bit her lip briefly before meeting his eyes and then flicking them quickly back down. She nodded and allowed him to place the fork to her lips. The act of it felt extremely intimate, eating off his fork. She swallowed the bite and when he went to pull his hand away she caught his wrist. “Not quite done,” she told him. Slowly she licked the syrupy remains from his fork. He made a strange little noise in his throat and she released his hand. “Very, very good,” she said in a voice she didn’t even recognize. John swallowed hard and glanced away.

“Yeah.”

They studiously ignored each other for a while. Rose used the excuse of eating to calm the racing of her heartbeat. After a while she peeked up at him from under her fringe. Just watching him eat was enough to stir her hormones into waking. Damn but she was attracted to the man. Too attracted for her own good. Something like this could never end well.

He wasn’t the sort to make attachments. He’d said that flat out. It would be silly to think that he would make an exception for her. She didn’t want to be a one off for him, a casual shag. She’d never been that girl, never had a one night stand. Instead she’d been the one who fell hard and fast and held on, sometimes far longer than she should. She’d been like that with Jimmy Stone. Probably with Mickey, too, staying in that relationship far past its expiration date.

As for the Doctor, well, she’d been holding onto him long after there was no getting him back. She’d been holding on to him for three years. It’d only been a week or two before meeting John that she’d made the choice to let that go. Only…was she really letting it go if she got involved with John? He wasn’t the Doctor, but what if all these burgeoning feelings were because her heart thought he was. It wouldn’t be fair to get involved with him if that was true. But was it?

It was clear to her that her head knew he was a different man. Everything about him was different, so why couldn’t she erase that niggling doubt that he’d just be a replacement. How long did it take to get over the love of your life? How did you know if you had? With Tosh gone she had no one to talk things out with. Her parents were the only ones she knew who had gone through something even close to what Rose was going through right now.

Jackie had dived into her relationship with Pete. They hadn’t known the meaning of moving slowly. Yet, she didn’t feel like she could talk to her mum about this. Jackie would be suspicious of Rose’s motives. Maybe Pete would understand if she could get him alone long enough to ask him how he’d made his peace. After all, his first wife had been dead three years when he’d met her mum, the same amount of time it had been for her when she’d met John. Yes, talking to Pete would make more sense than anything else.

“You all right?” John asked covering her hand with his and Rose realized she’d let out a little sigh.

“Just thinking hard,” Rose said.

“What about?”

“Oh, life, the universe, everything, the number 42,” she said.

He looked at her blankly. “42?” he asked. Douglas Adams was just another thing that had never happened in this universe.

“Nothing, never mind.” She shook off her melancholy. “So, I really need to do my grocery run today. Would you come with me? I still get a bit dizzy and I’d feel better if I had someone I could grab onto if I start feeling like I’m going to faint. We can get a cab to come home in.”

“Yeah, I need to pick up a few things myself,” he said. Apparently she must have looked surprised. “What?”

“Guess I thought it’d be a bit…domestic for you.”

“I do domestic,” he said. “Tosh won’t do my laundry for me, you know.”

“Well, but you don’t want to meet my mum.”

“I don’t do mothers. That doesn’t mean I won’t do the essential things,” he said.

“My mother thinks she’s an essential thing.”

“I’m sure that she does. So we’ll go shopping and then…what?”

“You still want to spend the weekend hanging out?” she asked hesitantly.

“I have nothing else to do,” he said with a shrug. Her face fell and it must have been obvious, because he said, “Rose, I didn’t mean it like that. I…I want to spend time with you. I thought I’d made that clear.” He squeezed her hand and she realized that his hand had been resting on hers for a several minutes now. “I like being with you.”

She blushed under his earnest gaze. “I like being with you, too,” she said softly.

The waiter interrupted them then, clearing their empty plates and returning a minute later with the bill. Rose finally pulled her hand away from his and fumbled for her purse. “Uh uh, Rose. I said I was taking you out for breakfast,” he said.

“But I—.”

“You provided the pizza and the entertainment last night,” he pointed out. “And I want to do this.” He had a stubborn look on his face that she’d seen twice before and she knew it wasn’t worth fighting over it.

“Okay,” she said giving in gracefully. He paid their bill and then they left. Once out on the sidewalk again Rose had an almost overwhelming urge to grab hold of his hand. In the few minutes since his hadn’t been on hers she’d found herself missing the touch, the connection to him. She shoved her hands into her jacket forcefully instead. “Come on,” she said. “The market’s this way.” And with quick, powerful strides she headed east.

Ch. 15: http://amberfocus.livejournal.com/338873.html