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amberfocusTitle: Bit of a Change
Author: Amberfocus
Characters/Pairings: Ten/Rose
Genre: Romance, Fluff, PWP, smidge of Crack, Smut
Betas: Amyo67, JeopardyFriendly
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Their first stop was an intergalactic sex shop that had absolutely nothing that could help him. It turned out that Rose’s flip comment about the existence of Space Viagra hadn’t been inaccurate. It existed in many, many different forms, but unfortunately after many trials and errors they had discovered that not one of them worked on Gallifreyan physiology.
Author's Notes: This fic is a birthday present for both Caraskye and Soniced Up who have birthdays this week. Due to my injury, my hand is not going to handle typing two fics this week, but it is extra long and hopefully extra hot, at least by the time we get to chapter three. Set after The Idiot's Lantern.
Chapter One: Merely Decorative
Rose sat on the jump seat kicking her legs back and forth while the Doctor worked on something inside the console, instead of underneath it, for a change. She liked the swishy feel of the fabric against her legs and the way it floated back down as she moved. She was still wearing the frothy pink dress and high heeled pink shoes she’d had on during their latest adventure, an attempt to blend in on a trip to see Elvis that had never happened; that had instead led to one of the most terrifying moments of her life. Gingerly she touched her face, reassuring herself that everything was back where it properly belonged.
Her eyes drifted back to the Doctor. Even now, she hadn’t quite gotten used to this new version of the man before her, but she still enjoyed watching him work. Especially when he peeled off some of the layers of his jacket and suit, took off his tie, loosened his collar enough that she could see a bit of chest hair peeking out, and rolled up his shirt sleeves. The fact that he had got a bit dirty when he was normally so fastidious now did things to her insides she wasn’t entirely sure what to do with. It wasn’t quite the same as denim and jumpers and that little gap of skin in between them that was exposed when he leaned over, but his bare arms still made her feel almost as naughty as catching sight of that bit of flesh at his waistline always had.
It was strange that she could still be so attracted to the man who was now such a physical opposite on the outside and yet, according to the Doctor, still the same man on the inside where it counted most. One of these days she’d get used to that. Maybe. At least he still wanted her around. She still got time and space and adventure and the TARDIS and maybe, one day, with this newer, more open version of the Doctor, maybe she’d get him, too. She just had to be patient. She sighed. She really wasn’t very good at patient.
“Doctor?”
“Mmm?” he mumbled in the way he had when he wasn’t really listening to her so much as simply acknowledging the fact that she was rambling within his auditory range.
“How come your sonic screwdriver is so much bigger now than it was before?” she asked as she watched him solder a bit of wire.
He paused in his work and looked down at the device. He had extended the length a fair bit in the last few weeks and added several more settings. He ran his free hand through his hair making it stand up a bit crazily. “Felt like a bit of a change, I suppose.”
“Because apparently there haven’t been enough changes lately,” Rose said. The irony was heavy in her voice.
He turned to look at her, frowning. “I thought you were okay with me changing now.”
“I am,” she said hastily. “It’s just…seems like other things are changing, too. Least some things are. And some things…guess they never will.” She tried not to sound wistful.
The Doctor put the sonic screwdriver into his pocket and reattached the panel, giving each corner a soft thump with the mallet before going to join her on the jump seat. “Is there something you want to change, Rose Tyler?” he asked. When he said her name like that it reminded her so much of the way he’d always said it that her heart skipped a beat.
“We never really talked about…” She trailed off and bit her lip. He stared at her intently and she felt herself beginning to squirm under the heaviness of his gaze.
“About?” he prompted.
“About why I’m still with you.” There. She had said it.
“Don’t you want to be?” he asked. She could feel his body stiffen next to her. “You agreed to come with me, t-to stay with me. Have you changed your mind? Did today change your mind?” He raised a hand to her face, as if reassuring himself that it was still there. Hastily he stopped himself from touching it.
“I’m just…confused, I guess.” Her shoulders slumped. This was harder than she’d thought. “You and I are…best mates, right?” she asked.
“’Course we are,” the Doctor said.
“Just best mates,” she said. It wasn’t a question.
The Doctor got up from the jump seat and started pacing nervously around the console. It was clear he didn’t want to respond to her statement. “Rose.”
“It’s just that you said it, you know? You said you weren’t going to leave me behind. You said you wouldn’t do that to me and you didn’t. Not this time.”
“Not any time,” he said.
“Daleks,” she reminded him.
“I sent you home for your safety,” he said sternly. “You should have stayed away.”
“If I had you’d be dead,” she said hotly.
“I died anyway,” he replied sharply.
Rose didn’t know what to say to that. “I’m sorry,” she managed to mutter.
“No, Rose, I’d do it again,” he burst out before he could stop himself. “When you came back to me like that…I’d do it again.”
“Why?” she asked. “Why did you? Why would you?”
“Like you said. We’re best mates.”
Rose sighed. “You’d have done it for anyone,” she said flatly.
“No,” he said tightly and something in his tone made her look up. “I wouldn’t have done it for anyone else. Not now. Not when I’m the only one left and I have to be so careful with my remaining regenerations. I did it because it was you, Rose and I wasn’t going to lose you after you’d risked everything to get back to me.”
Rose shivered at the darkness in his voice. “That’s not the sort of thing you do for just your best mate.”
“Rose, what do you want from me?” he asked. “What do you want me to say?”
“Nothing. Nothing. Forget it.”
“No.” He came back to her and brushed a lock of hair out of her face, searching her eyes.
“You came for me today and you found a way to fix what happened and you were just so happy to see me back to normal. The way that you—the way that you held me afterwards, the way that you looked at me…I guess I thought it meant….I guess I thought it all meant that you meant more than you meant.” There she’d said it. She just hoped it made sense. “I know it’s silly. I know I’m just a human—.”
“What do you mean, just a human? Human’s are brilliant,” he protested.
“Yeah, we are,” she said bitterly, “but you’d never love one.”
His hand dropped from her face like it was on fire and he spun away from her, putting distance and the safety of the console between them. “Rose, you don’t know what you’re saying.”
“How could I? Just a stupid ape, me,” she said mimicking his old accent. “Very stupid.” She stood up. “’Cause I’ve tried not to feel like this. I hoped that when you changed the feelings would go away, but they haven’t done. They’ve just become stronger. And sometimes when you look at me, I think maybe you feel it, too, but I’ve just been fooling myself.” She walked towards the opening to the corridor. “Don’t worry, Doctor. I won’t force my feelings on you. I’ll find a way to get over it.”
She had taken two steps into the hallway when she felt his hand on her shoulder. “No,” he said pulling her around to face him again. “I don’t want you to get over it.” She studied his earnest brown eyes and her stomach lurched at what she saw there. There had been flashes of it almost as long as she’d known him, but it had never been this clear. The Doctor was looking at her with need in his eyes. It was real and honest and open and there. There was no hiding it anymore.
“Why not?”
“You’re allowed to feel what you feel, Rose. It’s not like…” He trailed off, his eyes skittering away from hers and focusing on the lower lip she was biting.
“Like what?”
“Like I don’t.”
“Like you don’t what?” He looked like a scared rabbit, like he wanted to tear off down the corridor and lose himself in the depths of his marvelous ship.
“Like I don’t feel things.” He scrubbed at his face with his hand. “Not best mate type things,” he clarified. She felt her hopes rising before they came tumbling down on his next words. “We just can’t, well, we can’t act on those feelings, can we?”
“We can’t?” she asked stupidly. “We’re not incompatible. Are we incompatible? I’m pretty sure we’re compatible.” She was, in fact, positive that they were. She was the one who had gotten him changed from jeans and jumper and into pajamas at Christmas. If she’d known he’d gone commando she might have had Mickey do it, but by the time she’d figured that out and stopped staring, it had been a bit late to call her ex-boyfriend in. He had looked…very compatible.
The Doctor rubbed at the back of his neck. “If you’re asking could our two species have sex then the answer is yes. Technically. My reproductive organs are virtually indistinguishable from a human male’s. But that doesn’t mean you and I could have sex.”
“It doesn’t?”
“Nope.” He popped the P and for a moment Rose wanted to smack him for making light of the situation, before realizing how nervous he was.
“Why not? If you feel about me like I feel about you, then why can’t we…?”
The Doctor actually looked embarrassed. “I don’t have a sex drive, Rose.”
“What?”
“My people…we got rid of it centuries ago. Engineered it right out of the race. Didn’t need it for reproduction anymore with the advent of the looms and it got in the way of intellectual pursuits, so they eliminated it from the genetic structure.”
“So our…parts will fit, but you basically can’t…” She gestured at his pelvis then raised her index finger upwards.
“It’s merely decorative,” he said.
“Decorative?” Rose tried not to smirk because he was being entirely serious. She paused and got the irrational case of giggles that was trying to burst through her composure under control.
“Yep.”
“So, is there anything we can do to make it…not decorative?”
“What?”
“If you have these feelings for me and I have them for you, isn’t there anything, in all of time and space, that we could do?” she asked. “I don’t know. Space Viagra or something?”
The Doctor frowned. “I…I guess so.”
“Unless you don’t want to change our relationship like that,” she said.
“No, I do. I want to have that with you, Rose. The emotional desire has always been there,” he said hastily.
“Always?” she asked quickly.
He swallowed hard. “Yeah. Always.”
Rose smiled. “Then you need to get back to that console and program us to land on the nearest facility that can make you fully functional.”
“What? Now?” he asked.
“Doctor, you may not have a sex drive, but I do. And mine’s been ticking over for close to a year hoping you’d make some kind of move. Now that I know you can’t, I’m gonna. Move it.” She shoved him gently towards the console room.
“Really? Nearly a year?”
“Really,” Rose mock growled. “Go. Now.” She pointed commandingly down the corridor.
The Doctor started in the direction she had pushed him. Over his shoulder he commented, “You’re a bit bossy when you’re randy.”
“Doctor, you have no idea,” Rose said under her breath as she followed him into the control room.
Ch. 2: http://amberfocus.livejournal.com/239480.html
Author: Amberfocus
Characters/Pairings: Ten/Rose
Genre: Romance, Fluff, PWP, smidge of Crack, Smut
Betas: Amyo67, JeopardyFriendly
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Their first stop was an intergalactic sex shop that had absolutely nothing that could help him. It turned out that Rose’s flip comment about the existence of Space Viagra hadn’t been inaccurate. It existed in many, many different forms, but unfortunately after many trials and errors they had discovered that not one of them worked on Gallifreyan physiology.
Author's Notes: This fic is a birthday present for both Caraskye and Soniced Up who have birthdays this week. Due to my injury, my hand is not going to handle typing two fics this week, but it is extra long and hopefully extra hot, at least by the time we get to chapter three. Set after The Idiot's Lantern.
Chapter One: Merely Decorative
Rose sat on the jump seat kicking her legs back and forth while the Doctor worked on something inside the console, instead of underneath it, for a change. She liked the swishy feel of the fabric against her legs and the way it floated back down as she moved. She was still wearing the frothy pink dress and high heeled pink shoes she’d had on during their latest adventure, an attempt to blend in on a trip to see Elvis that had never happened; that had instead led to one of the most terrifying moments of her life. Gingerly she touched her face, reassuring herself that everything was back where it properly belonged.
Her eyes drifted back to the Doctor. Even now, she hadn’t quite gotten used to this new version of the man before her, but she still enjoyed watching him work. Especially when he peeled off some of the layers of his jacket and suit, took off his tie, loosened his collar enough that she could see a bit of chest hair peeking out, and rolled up his shirt sleeves. The fact that he had got a bit dirty when he was normally so fastidious now did things to her insides she wasn’t entirely sure what to do with. It wasn’t quite the same as denim and jumpers and that little gap of skin in between them that was exposed when he leaned over, but his bare arms still made her feel almost as naughty as catching sight of that bit of flesh at his waistline always had.
It was strange that she could still be so attracted to the man who was now such a physical opposite on the outside and yet, according to the Doctor, still the same man on the inside where it counted most. One of these days she’d get used to that. Maybe. At least he still wanted her around. She still got time and space and adventure and the TARDIS and maybe, one day, with this newer, more open version of the Doctor, maybe she’d get him, too. She just had to be patient. She sighed. She really wasn’t very good at patient.
“Doctor?”
“Mmm?” he mumbled in the way he had when he wasn’t really listening to her so much as simply acknowledging the fact that she was rambling within his auditory range.
“How come your sonic screwdriver is so much bigger now than it was before?” she asked as she watched him solder a bit of wire.
He paused in his work and looked down at the device. He had extended the length a fair bit in the last few weeks and added several more settings. He ran his free hand through his hair making it stand up a bit crazily. “Felt like a bit of a change, I suppose.”
“Because apparently there haven’t been enough changes lately,” Rose said. The irony was heavy in her voice.
He turned to look at her, frowning. “I thought you were okay with me changing now.”
“I am,” she said hastily. “It’s just…seems like other things are changing, too. Least some things are. And some things…guess they never will.” She tried not to sound wistful.
The Doctor put the sonic screwdriver into his pocket and reattached the panel, giving each corner a soft thump with the mallet before going to join her on the jump seat. “Is there something you want to change, Rose Tyler?” he asked. When he said her name like that it reminded her so much of the way he’d always said it that her heart skipped a beat.
“We never really talked about…” She trailed off and bit her lip. He stared at her intently and she felt herself beginning to squirm under the heaviness of his gaze.
“About?” he prompted.
“About why I’m still with you.” There. She had said it.
“Don’t you want to be?” he asked. She could feel his body stiffen next to her. “You agreed to come with me, t-to stay with me. Have you changed your mind? Did today change your mind?” He raised a hand to her face, as if reassuring himself that it was still there. Hastily he stopped himself from touching it.
“I’m just…confused, I guess.” Her shoulders slumped. This was harder than she’d thought. “You and I are…best mates, right?” she asked.
“’Course we are,” the Doctor said.
“Just best mates,” she said. It wasn’t a question.
The Doctor got up from the jump seat and started pacing nervously around the console. It was clear he didn’t want to respond to her statement. “Rose.”
“It’s just that you said it, you know? You said you weren’t going to leave me behind. You said you wouldn’t do that to me and you didn’t. Not this time.”
“Not any time,” he said.
“Daleks,” she reminded him.
“I sent you home for your safety,” he said sternly. “You should have stayed away.”
“If I had you’d be dead,” she said hotly.
“I died anyway,” he replied sharply.
Rose didn’t know what to say to that. “I’m sorry,” she managed to mutter.
“No, Rose, I’d do it again,” he burst out before he could stop himself. “When you came back to me like that…I’d do it again.”
“Why?” she asked. “Why did you? Why would you?”
“Like you said. We’re best mates.”
Rose sighed. “You’d have done it for anyone,” she said flatly.
“No,” he said tightly and something in his tone made her look up. “I wouldn’t have done it for anyone else. Not now. Not when I’m the only one left and I have to be so careful with my remaining regenerations. I did it because it was you, Rose and I wasn’t going to lose you after you’d risked everything to get back to me.”
Rose shivered at the darkness in his voice. “That’s not the sort of thing you do for just your best mate.”
“Rose, what do you want from me?” he asked. “What do you want me to say?”
“Nothing. Nothing. Forget it.”
“No.” He came back to her and brushed a lock of hair out of her face, searching her eyes.
“You came for me today and you found a way to fix what happened and you were just so happy to see me back to normal. The way that you—the way that you held me afterwards, the way that you looked at me…I guess I thought it meant….I guess I thought it all meant that you meant more than you meant.” There she’d said it. She just hoped it made sense. “I know it’s silly. I know I’m just a human—.”
“What do you mean, just a human? Human’s are brilliant,” he protested.
“Yeah, we are,” she said bitterly, “but you’d never love one.”
His hand dropped from her face like it was on fire and he spun away from her, putting distance and the safety of the console between them. “Rose, you don’t know what you’re saying.”
“How could I? Just a stupid ape, me,” she said mimicking his old accent. “Very stupid.” She stood up. “’Cause I’ve tried not to feel like this. I hoped that when you changed the feelings would go away, but they haven’t done. They’ve just become stronger. And sometimes when you look at me, I think maybe you feel it, too, but I’ve just been fooling myself.” She walked towards the opening to the corridor. “Don’t worry, Doctor. I won’t force my feelings on you. I’ll find a way to get over it.”
She had taken two steps into the hallway when she felt his hand on her shoulder. “No,” he said pulling her around to face him again. “I don’t want you to get over it.” She studied his earnest brown eyes and her stomach lurched at what she saw there. There had been flashes of it almost as long as she’d known him, but it had never been this clear. The Doctor was looking at her with need in his eyes. It was real and honest and open and there. There was no hiding it anymore.
“Why not?”
“You’re allowed to feel what you feel, Rose. It’s not like…” He trailed off, his eyes skittering away from hers and focusing on the lower lip she was biting.
“Like what?”
“Like I don’t.”
“Like you don’t what?” He looked like a scared rabbit, like he wanted to tear off down the corridor and lose himself in the depths of his marvelous ship.
“Like I don’t feel things.” He scrubbed at his face with his hand. “Not best mate type things,” he clarified. She felt her hopes rising before they came tumbling down on his next words. “We just can’t, well, we can’t act on those feelings, can we?”
“We can’t?” she asked stupidly. “We’re not incompatible. Are we incompatible? I’m pretty sure we’re compatible.” She was, in fact, positive that they were. She was the one who had gotten him changed from jeans and jumper and into pajamas at Christmas. If she’d known he’d gone commando she might have had Mickey do it, but by the time she’d figured that out and stopped staring, it had been a bit late to call her ex-boyfriend in. He had looked…very compatible.
The Doctor rubbed at the back of his neck. “If you’re asking could our two species have sex then the answer is yes. Technically. My reproductive organs are virtually indistinguishable from a human male’s. But that doesn’t mean you and I could have sex.”
“It doesn’t?”
“Nope.” He popped the P and for a moment Rose wanted to smack him for making light of the situation, before realizing how nervous he was.
“Why not? If you feel about me like I feel about you, then why can’t we…?”
The Doctor actually looked embarrassed. “I don’t have a sex drive, Rose.”
“What?”
“My people…we got rid of it centuries ago. Engineered it right out of the race. Didn’t need it for reproduction anymore with the advent of the looms and it got in the way of intellectual pursuits, so they eliminated it from the genetic structure.”
“So our…parts will fit, but you basically can’t…” She gestured at his pelvis then raised her index finger upwards.
“It’s merely decorative,” he said.
“Decorative?” Rose tried not to smirk because he was being entirely serious. She paused and got the irrational case of giggles that was trying to burst through her composure under control.
“Yep.”
“So, is there anything we can do to make it…not decorative?”
“What?”
“If you have these feelings for me and I have them for you, isn’t there anything, in all of time and space, that we could do?” she asked. “I don’t know. Space Viagra or something?”
The Doctor frowned. “I…I guess so.”
“Unless you don’t want to change our relationship like that,” she said.
“No, I do. I want to have that with you, Rose. The emotional desire has always been there,” he said hastily.
“Always?” she asked quickly.
He swallowed hard. “Yeah. Always.”
Rose smiled. “Then you need to get back to that console and program us to land on the nearest facility that can make you fully functional.”
“What? Now?” he asked.
“Doctor, you may not have a sex drive, but I do. And mine’s been ticking over for close to a year hoping you’d make some kind of move. Now that I know you can’t, I’m gonna. Move it.” She shoved him gently towards the console room.
“Really? Nearly a year?”
“Really,” Rose mock growled. “Go. Now.” She pointed commandingly down the corridor.
The Doctor started in the direction she had pushed him. Over his shoulder he commented, “You’re a bit bossy when you’re randy.”
“Doctor, you have no idea,” Rose said under her breath as she followed him into the control room.
Ch. 2: http://amberfocus.livejournal.com/239480.html
