Of the Vortex Born: Chapter Twenty-six

[amberfocus]

Chapter Twenty-six:  Questions

A searing pain shot through the Doctor’s head as the TARDIS shouted at him. There were no words, just an onslaught of pain, like a mental slap. “I know, I know!” he said to the ship and raced for the doors. He was through them in a heartbeat and racing across the lab before realizing that Rose was still in it, standing with her forehead pressed against the wall, her body shaking as she tried to compose herself.

He came up behind her and put his arms around her, pulling her back into his body, knowing he had to do everything within his power to fix his mistake. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I thought…Rose, I thought it was over. I thought it was good-bye. You haven’t been able to make a decision and I thought I knew what your answer was going to be. You have your responsibility to this place and I know how important it is to you. I didn’t think you were choosing me.”

Rose’s body was tense but she didn’t pull away from his touch. “This universe got on just fine without me for years. It can do it again. That’s not even the point.”

“But you said…”

“I know what I said, but…oh, you just don’t get it do you? I have always chosen you!” She was angry, but that was better than the heart-wrenching sob she’d given out as she’d left the TARDIS. “And you have always sent me away!” Accusation was thick in her voice.

“Rose, please. Look at me,” he said as gently as he could. She turned around and he blanched from the hurt and recrimination in her eyes. “I didn’t think you wanted me.” He grasped at her arms.

“After what we just shared?” she asked incredulous.

“That’s sex, Rose,” he said waving it away.

“No. It wasn’t. And you know it. It was love, Doctor. Making love.” She enunciated the last two words clearly. “Showing love. Being in love. With you. Why are you so afraid of those words?”

“I’m not! I told you when I got here how I felt about you. That I wanted you to come back with me. You’re the one who had to think about it, to take your time. You’re the one that didn’t know the minute you saw me that we were supposed to be together forever and want to move heaven and Earth to make sure it happened. You didn’t want me!”

“Damn you,” she said. “That you could even think that I didn’t want you. I want you. I need you! I need you the same way I need to breathe. I always have. This, all of this decision making, all of this need for time, all of my stalling; it was never about what I wanted, Doctor, because I’ve always known what that was. It was about being sure, damn sure, that you really wanted me!”

“But I told you. I showed you!”

“You have a history, Doctor, of acting like you want me then pushing me away. Do I need to remind you of what happened after Sarah Jane? How you brought Mickey in as a buffer to keep us from getting too close? How you pushed me away? Or Madame de Pompadour and how you left me behind? Or of how you sent me away from the game station without asking me what I wanted? Or into this parallel world the first time without asking me what I wanted? Both times I came back to you. Both times I chose you. I have always, always chosen you and you haven’t always chosen me!” she shouted.

“Rose, how can you still be holding onto that? It was so long ago.”

“Yeah, well, some hurts never go away. Not when they’re covered up and hidden away and not resolved. I remember every big hurt you’ve ever caused me. I haven’t forgotten them. I’ve made it as clear as I possibly can that I love you, that I need you, that I want forever with you and you’re too damn thick to get it, aren’t you?” she snapped.

“No,” he said. “I’m not.” She wasn’t being entirely fair but she had so much more on her side of the argument that he wasn’t about to point that out. “I’m finally getting it, Rose,” he said his eyes soft and sad.

“And then you go and look at me with your tender puppy dog eyes and you think I’m going to go all soft and squidgy inside, don’t you?” she accused.

“I love you,” he said.

“What?” She was exasperated. “And that makes it all better, does it?”

“I love you. I love you and I’m sorry and I don’t deserve you and I’m an idiot and I want you and I need you and…and…don’t leave me, Rose. Because it would break me.”

“You, you…I can’t even think of what you are right now but you are so it,” she told him furiously.

“Forgive me,” he said intensely.

“Doctor,” she began but he interrupted.

“Forgive me. And then marry me.” He held his breath, not sure of how that had made it out of his mouth without stopping by his brain first, but sure beyond anything else that he wanted it. And frightened beyond belief of what her reaction would be.

“I can’t decide if I want to kiss you or slap you right now,” she told him.

“I think I’d really prefer the first one,” he said cheekily. Her eyes narrowed. Right. A little too soon for cheekiness.

“Just so there are no more misunderstandings between us let me make this clear to you, Doctor. Yes, I need you. Yes, I want you. Yes, I love you. Yes, I will come back with you to the other universe if we figure out a way to get there. And I will think about forgiving you,” she told him.

“And will you marry me, Rose?” he asked again.

“Damn it, Doctor! Yes, I’ll marry you. But you, Mister, are not out of hot water yet for being an arse.” And with that she pulled away from him and turned and marched out of the room.

The Doctor stared after her. It had been the least romantic marriage proposal he’d ever heard of. It hadn’t been how he’d have thought he’d ever ask Rose to be his life mate. She’d been so angry with him. And yet extraordinarily, she’d still said yes. A slow grin spread over his face. The love of his life was not only not leaving him, but she had just agreed to marry him. She was going to be his wife. Rose Tyler was going to be his wife!

He shook himself. He had a lot to make up for though. With a thoughtful frown he left the laboratory and went in search of his eldest daughter. Perhaps Mairi would know how to help him get back in his new fiancée’s good graces. That is if the girl would thaw out long enough to speak with him properly.



“You want me to do what?” Mairi asked staring at her father with cool amusement.

“I want you to help me woo your mother,” he repeated sheepishly.

She stared at him with an expression that was extremely disconcerting and then very slowly her expression folded itself into a grin that changed her so much she looked like an entirely different person. She jumped off the stool she’d been sitting on and said, “Okay, then. No time like the present. And speaking of presents, we’re going shopping.”

“But…I…”

“Nuh uh,” she said. “My way.” She hustled him out of U.N.I.T. headquarters and before he knew which way was up they were on the magnetic train.

“But I don’t have any money,” he told her.

“Actually, you do. Jake funneled some of the U.N.I.T. bonus for rescuing the remaining Torchwood personnel and rescuing moon residents from the Ganyite ship into an account for you,” she told him.

“But that was my daughter, and Luke who was my responsibility to begin with, and he’s not even a moon citizen,” the Doctor protested. “And the Torchwood personnel wouldn’t have needed rescuing if Jamie hadn’t blown up the station.”

“U.N.I.T. and Space Control have standard operating procedures and anyone that participates in a rescue mission receives a bonus,” Mairi shrugged.

“So how much is this bonus, then?” he asked. Mairi pulled out her computerized clipboard and moved her stylus rapidly over it, then showed him a number. “Ah. Is that a lot?” She nodded dryly. “Enough to buy your mum a ring?”

“You want to buy Mum a ring? You’re going to ask her to marry you?” she asked.

“Already did do,” he said. “And she agreed.”

“Then why do you need my help to woo her?” Mairi asked curiously.

“Because I really botched up everything else between the romance and the proposal. And she’s mad at me. Really mad at me,” he said looking down at his feet.

“Tell me something, Doc…Dad.”

“What?”

“Mum’s going back with you, isn’t she?”

“Yes.”

“And Jamie.”

“Yes.”

“Do you want me?” Mairi asked with the fear of a little girl wanting her daddy but thinking she’d never have him.

The Doctor closed his eyes tightly and then reopened them and looked his daughter straight in the eyes. “Yes, Mairi. I’d love for you to come.”

“Only you haven’t ever asked. Not me. Not Landon, either,” she said.

“I didn’t think you liked me. Either one of you.”

“Do you live inside your assumptions a lot?” Mairi asked.

“Maybe too much,” the Doctor said. He sighed. “I want all of my family to come. I don’t want to leave any of you behind. I don’t want to be strangers to my own children, not like…not like the last time. I want to know you, Mairi. And I want you to come back with me. Will you come back with me?”

“Yes,” she said simply. He leaned forward and picked up her hand and squeezed it gently. The final piece of her reserve cracked and Mairi launched herself at her father and hugged him fiercely. “I’ve missed you my whole life, Daddy,” she said with a hitch in her voice.

“I wish I’d known what there was to miss,” he told her laying a kiss on her hair. “I spent all these years missing your mother. I never dreamed there would be a Mairi to miss, too.”

He loosened his grip on her and she pulled back. “So you want to tell me exactly what you did to Mum?” she asked forcing her cool persona back into place.

Very slowly the words began until they were coming faster and faster, tumbling out. He told her of his decision to shut down his emotions and how Rose had reacted to that and then run out, how he’d chased after her, apologized, and proposed. How Rose had reacted and how despite her acceptance she was still furious with him.

“Well,” said Mairi when he finished, “You and me, we’re not so different after all. I can really tick Mum off, too. Here’s what we’re going to do.” The Doctor settled back into his seat and listened to what his daughter had to say.

Ch. 27: http://amberfocus.livejournal.com/137436.html