You Reap What You Sow (5&6 of 45)
Jun. 6th, 2008 02:51 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
amberfocus
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Chapter Five: The Lightest Touches
“Rose?” Rose thrilled a little at the Doctor’s voice so closely behind her. She was getting ready to go meet up with Mickey for a walk in the park and hadn’t been aware of the man coming up behind her. She felt his heat and realized he was very close indeed. She turned around and gave him a soft smile, taking a nervous step backwards that caused her to stumble.
His arms came out in a flash, catching her before she could fall. “Thank you,” she said, her eyes going down to where his hands had grabbed hold of her. His fingers released their grip but did not move, resting lightly on her skin. The brief flare of the link between them caused the Doctor’s eyes to widen and she looked down nervously at her feet, blushing.
Rose looked at him blankly for a moment then nodded her head. “That means leaving Mum.”
“I know, sweetheart. But everything for your care and the baby’s is set up back there. We’ve got to take care of both of you properly, make sure everything is progressing the way it should. And the two of you can’t exactly go to normal human doctors.” Rose nodded again, looking torn.
“Look, if you really don’t want to go I won’t…you don’t have to. You can stay--.”
“On my own?” she blurted. “Without you?” She didn’t like the sound of that at all.
“No, of course not,” he said absurdly pleased at her tone. “I’ll stay here, too. Unless,” and he hesitated, not looking at her, “Unless you want me to go.” He raised his eyes. “I couldn’t stand that, Rose. I really couldn’t. But we really do need to get back soon. The TARDIS needs to recharge and she can’t do that in this universe. If we stay here too long, we won’t be able to go back. It’s been three weeks since you lost your memories. I’d hoped you’d ferl safe enough with me to go home.”
“Is that why we don’t live in this universe?” Rose asked comprehension dawning. “The TARDIS can’t operate here for long?”
The Doctor nodded. “The energy’s too different here. She’d stop altogether if we stayed for too long.”
Rose sighed. “How long does she have?”
“Well, we can stay a bit longer, but you need to be thinking about your good-byes, love.”
“All right,” Rose said. She walked over and scooped up the baby in her arms and shifted him to one shoulder. Without thinking she reached out with her free hand and gave the Doctor’s hand a light squeeze. “I’ll be back in a couple of hours,” she told him.
As she walked out of the room the Doctor stared down at his hand, a slow smile spreading over his face at the touch that had come as naturally to his wife as breathing. It was only the second time she’d initiated physical contact. He’d craved her touch, missed it desperately. Now here he was, trying to get his mind and breathing under control because the woman he loved had him as excited as a school boy at a simple brushing of her hand through his.
It was more than that, though. It was progress, another baby step forward in Rose’s comfort level rising with him. He held his hand above his hearts as he waited for them to calm. He laughed at himself when they didn’t. “Well, no use standing here all day,” he told himself. “I’m sure there’s something I can fix.” And he wandered off to the console room to make repairs.
Rose hadn’t realized that they’d been in the parallel universe for three full weeks after she’d had lost her memories. She had spent a lot of time with her mother, and some time with her surrogate father and her little brother and sister. It was odd walking into that ready made family. Yet it didn’t really feel wrong, anymore than the Doctor did. He was beginning to feel more and more right.
Rose had borrowed a pram from her mum to take Dare along on her walk with Mickey. “The Doctor wants to leave soon. The TARDIS needs recharging. It’s up to me whether I go with him or I stay here. He won’t leave me or the baby unless I ask him to, but I know he doesn’t want to stay here. Mickey, what should I do?” Rose asked.
“You have to go with him, Rose,” Mickey said without hesitation. “That’s where your life is now.”
“I’d think you’d hate him,” Rose blurted.
“Why? ‘Cause he took you away from me? Rose, I’ve been past that for ages.”
“Was I that easy to get over?” Rose felt strangely irritated.
“You do not get to play that game with me, Rose,” Mickey snapped, a flush of anger in his voice. “Whether you can remember it or not, I can. You left me for him because you thought the sun rose and set on his shoulders. There was a time I almost had you back, right before he changed. And you know what I did for you? I loved you so much that I helped find a way to send you back to him and it nearly killed me to do it. And then after you were separated I did it again! I told you about the opening in the Void and the rise in Rift energy in Cardiff. I made sure you knew that there would be a chance you could get back to him. So, no Rose, you were not that easy to get over, and don’t you dare ever play that game with me.”
Rose had flinched at his tirade, but as his words sunk in she let the tension ease from her shoulders. “I’m sorry, Mickey,” she said simply.
“Don’t be sorry, Rose. And don’t be stupid, either. You made your choice a long time ago. You made it three times, because you made it when he was the old him, again after he regenerated, and again when you went through the Void. I never stood a chance. You’ve had his hearts since the day you met and he’s had yours. You always choose him, Rose. Go with him.”
“I’m scared, Mickey.” He stopped and reached out to pull her into a hug.
“Rose, you’re the bravest person I know.”
She rested her head on his shoulder for awhile. “I must have been horrible to you,” she mumbled.
“I forgave you a long time ago, babe. You won’t remember this, but I’m the one who walked you down the aisle at your wedding. That’s how much I love you. You’re my best friend, Rose. You’ll always be. But you belong with him. Besides, I’ve got my own girl now. And things are getting serious. So don’t feel sorry for me. I’m good.”
Rose pulled out of the hug and kissed his cheek. “You’re not just good, Mickey. You’re the best.”
“I am, aren’t I?” Mickey said and they laughed and began walking again. “It’s all going to be all right, Rose. You’ll get your memories back and you’ll know how much you love him.”
“What if I don’t?” she asked trying to keep the trepidation out of her voice.
“Then you’ll fall in love with him all over again. ‘Cause that’s what you do Rose. You love the Doctor.” He bumped shoulders with her. “Trust me on this.”
They turned about and headed back towards the Tyler mansion and the TARDIS, losing the seriousness of their conversation and chatting about their childhood growing up on the Powell Estate. It was the first time she could remember being completely carefree since losing the last four years of her life.
Rose spent a couple of hours with her mother after the walk with Mickey. Jackie had sensed that Rose was getting ready to leave again. She hadn’t protested, only hugged her daughter fiercely to her. “You come visit when the gate’s stable,” her mother said. “And you call. The Doctor didn’t supe up your phone for nothing. I want to hear from you. Once a month at least, okay?” Rose nodded against her shoulder.
“I’ll come say good-bye properly before we leave,” Rose said.
“You’ll do more than that,” her mum called after her. “You’ll come for a proper sit-down dinner. Seven sharp. And that means all of you.”
She left the house and she and Dare went back to the TARDIS. The Doctor was bent over the console, rather funky music playing on the sound system, when she returned. She put her hand on his shoulder. “We’re back,” she said.
He turned in surprise. “You startled me,” he said, but his face spread with a broad smile. For a moment she thought he was going to lean over and kiss her cheek. For a moment she wanted him to. They stepped apart.
“We can leave tonight,” she told him. His eyes closed in relief. “Mum wants a proper send off dinner before we leave,” she told him expecting him to frown and make an excuse to get out of it.
She couldn’t keep the surprise off her face when he simply said, “What time?”
“Seven.” She smiled. “I need to feed Dare and then I’d like to take a nap,” she told him.
“Okay.”
She walked to the entrance to the corridor. “Doctor?”
“Yes, Rose?”
“Thank you.”
“For what?”
She turned back towards him and her eyes locked with his. “For everything.” She left him then and headed off to take care of the baby.
A half an hour later the Doctor crept into their bedroom. Dare was sleeping quietly in the crib next to the bed and Rose was stretched out on the surface of the bed. His eyes fell hungrily to his wife’s body. He missed her desperately and it was nice to be able to look his fill without worrying about frightening her or making her uncomfortable.
The desire to reach out and touch her was very strong. He swallowed it down savagely, trying to content himself with a visual feast. He couldn’t act on any of the emotions he was feeling. Without realizing it his feet had taken him closer to the bed of their own accord. Rose sighed and turned over, her eyes flying open as she realized she was being watched.
Her gaze met and held his. For once he didn’t see fear in them. “Did you want something?” she asked softly.
The Doctor bit his lip as he stared at his wife. He saw her eyes drop to the lip he was biting, saw the little flash in them. Was that desire? He hesitated for a moment before flicking his tongue out to wet his lips. Her nostrils flared and her eyes widened, drawn to his mouth. Definitely desire.
“I was,” he gulped, cleared his throat and tried again. “I was just checking on you,” he said. He ran his fingers through his hair and saw her eyes drift upwards at that gesture. Again, he recognized the little wave of desire that flickered through her. So she liked that, did she? He ran his hands through his hair a second time. Unconsciously, she licked her lips.
“I’m…fine,” she said. “Just tired.”
The Doctor nodded and loosened his tie. Her eyes flew to his fingers, watching each movement as if it were the most fascinating thing she’d ever seen.
“Are you tired?” she asked barely realizing she was speaking. “You look tired, too.”
He shrugged. “Haven’t been sleeping at all. Been too…worried.”
“About me?” she whispered.
“Yeah.”
“Maybe you should take a nap, too.”
“Never did find another bed,” he told her.
“Sleep here.”
“With you?” He hesitated.
“With me,” she replied.
He sat down on the bed and then removed his suit jacket and eased off his shoes before swinging his legs up and onto the surface. Rose sighed and closed her eyes. She was asleep within minutes, a smile gently curving her lovely mouth. He set his internal time sense to wake him in time for Jackie’s dinner, and once done it did not take long for him to follow Rose down the path to slumber.
Chapter Six: Two Steps Forwards
It was a lovely evening at Jackie’s. The Doctor was embarrassed to admit, even to himself, how much was enjoying himself. He’d ended up on the receiving end of two sleeping babies when Johnny had climbed up into Rose’s lap and refused to move upon hearing that they were leaving that night.
The Doctor had looked from Vandarian to Daisy and back to Rose holding Johnny and couldn’t help thinking ahead to his own future, perhaps when young Dare was Johnny’s age and Cassi had been born and maybe one or two others, and they were surrounded by children as they were now. He allowed himself in that moment to believe that everything with Rose would turn out just fine and that the future they’d glimpsed would still come to pass.
“How far the mighty have fallen,” Mickey said to the Doctor as he passed behind him. “Brought down by a pack of snoozing tots.”
“Just you wait, Mickey,” the Doctor said in a low voice when Mickey returned from the kitchen. “A few more years and you and Saree might have one or two of these yourself.”
Mickey froze, his eyes seeking out his girlfriend’s, and the Doctor laughed.
“And they’ll be beautiful,” Saree said calmly from across the room. She turned her gaze onto the Doctor. “I don’t embarrass that easily, Doctor, even if Mr. Mickey does.” She returned her gaze to Mickey. “In your own time on the family, of course.”
Rose giggled. The woman had Mickey completely wrapped around her little finger, much as Rose used to. Despite Saree’s soothing manner, she recognized a woman who had the next ten years firmly charted out ahead of her. She was very glad she didn’t feel the slightest bit of jealousy. She had wondered on meeting the woman if she would. But even in the scattered memories she still had she’d already given her heart to the old Doctor. Her feelings for Mickey had never shone bright after that.
She sighed and turned her eyes to her husband who was watching her intently with his beautiful chocolate eyes. When he caught her looking back something intensified even more, setting off a smoldering sensation throughout her body. Her eyes widened as she felt the link flaring between them. The image of the Doctor running his hand slowly down the inside of her thigh inserted itself into her mind. She broke the gaze and turned to her mother.
“As wonderful as this night has been, we really need to be in the Vortex within the next hour.” Next to her the Doctor gave a startled cough.
“No, Rose! Don’t go!” Johnny was adamant.
“I’m sorry, my little love, but we have to go. I promise, we’ll be back to visit as soon as it’s safe.”
Donna reached down and took Daisy from the Doctor, dropping a kiss on her forehead and handing the baby back to his mum. She reached next for Dare as Johnny finally relinquished his hold on Rose’s lap. “I’ll head back with him,” Donna said giving them time to say their good-byes alone.
As soon as the Doctor and Rose were outside the back door she turned on him. “Were you thinking dirty thoughts at me in my mother’s house?” she demanded.
“What?” he asked, startled.
“Were you,” she said gripping the front of his coat and pulling him down so that she was nose to nose with him, “or were you not, thinking about stroking my thigh a minute ago?”
The Doctor flushed. “It just flitted through my mind for a moment,” he admitted.
“And you thought you’d send it to me?”
“Erm, no, Rose. I’m not the one that opened the link. And what’s with the lying to your mum? We don’t have to be in the Vortex for another four hours.”
“I…I don’t…I felt…” She sighed. “I don’t know why.”
His hands came up to cover hers where she was balling up the fabric of his coat in her hands. His eyes searched hers as her fingers softened and splayed against him. “I can’t help wanting you, Rose. You’re my wife. I love you. And I want you desperately and sometimes that’s going to slip through. But I didn’t open the link. You did. And in order for that to happen, you had to be wanting me, too.”
He thought she’d look away at that but she didn’t. She moistened her lips and nodded her head. “I’m attracted to you,” she admitted. “Really attracted. You’ve been so…so…” She closed the gap between them and lifted her lips to brush them softly against his. It was hesitant and he could hear her hearts beating very quickly. His lips remained soft against hers, afraid to deepen the kiss lest he scare her away.
She pressed more firmly against his lips and he responded slowly, never trying to take control from her, letting her lead in this tentative dance. Her hands tightened again on his lapels and he felt the tip of her tongue press against his lips.
He pulled back from her and she opened her eyes. He saw frustration there. “Doctor, is that how you kiss your wife?” she challenged.
“Not really,” he said, gulping a bit nervously.
“Then how?”
“I’m not sure you’re ready to handle it, Rose,” he said softly.
He felt the link between them flaring open again, saw her desire to be truly kissed by him and his control fled. “Show me.”
“Like this,” he growled, his mouth coming down on hers, his tongue pushing in to battle with hers, his hands tangling in her hair, his hips pushing into her body, his thoughts shooting searing, passionate images at her. He made love to her tongue, sliding and circling, then pulling back to nip at her lips, pulling them one a time into his mouth to gently suck them, before releasing and returning to the passionate melding of tongues.
He released her when he sensed the overload of sensation and emotion in her mind. She gasped, staggered back and grabbed his coat again to make sure she didn’t stumble. “That’s how I kiss my wife,” he told her, his voice rough with emotion.
“I…I see,” she said, breathing heavily. “We best get back to the TARDIS.” She turned to head away, taking in huge gasps of the night air.
“Are you all right, Rose?” he asked, concern in his voice that he’d gone too far in his desire to have her in his arms again.
“Um-hmm,” she managed to squeak out.
“I’m sorry,” he managed.
“Don’t be sorry,” she said turning to look at him. “Not for that.” She closed her eyes. “I liked it,” she told him truthfully. “But it scares me to death.”
“I can wait, Rose,” he said.
“I know you can.” What she didn’t say was that it wasn’t his kiss that had scared her. It was her reaction to it. She’d wanted it, wanted him beyond all reason. But she didn’t know him well enough yet. Emotionally she wasn’t ready.
And even if she had been, she wasn’t sufficiently healed from the birth of their child. Which was probably a very good thing. From the tension in the Doctor, she could tell that if she’d said so much as ‘I want’ to him, that would be the only thing that would hold him back.
Instead, she breathed in deeply and held out her hand. “I’m ready for this, though.” He smiled broadly at her and clasped her outstretched fingers. They fit together as perfectly as they always had.
Rose sat in the jump seat later that evening as the Doctor programmed the coordinates into the TARDIS. Dare lay in a little cradle by her foot and she was absently rocking him back and forth and shooting little looks at her husband. She loved the way he focused so intently on what he was doing, the way his hands flowed smoothly and confidently over the controls.
“Rose?” The Doctor’s voice was a little higher pitched then normal.
“Yes, Doctor?”
“If you keep looking at me like that I’m going to make a mistake on our flight plan,” he said gruffly.
“How do you know I’m looking?” she asked, her tone lightly teasing. “You haven’t looked over here once.”
“Superior Time Lord physiology. My peripheral vision’s better than yours.”
“Oh. Sorry, Doctor.” She kept her eyes on the baby until the sound of dematerialization occurred.
The Doctor came over and scooped up the child. “I think he’s out for awhile,” he said. “Let’s go put him down.”
“He seems to be going longer between feedings now,” Rose said. “And sleeping for longer stretches without waking.”
“He will do. Another week and he’ll actually have some longer stretches of awake time, too.”
“Is he going to have human sleep needs or be like you?” she asked him as they entered their bedroom.
“I don’t know. But I’ll make sure you get the sleep you need, love. His schedule will settle soon and then you’ll need to wake only once a night for feedings, I think. That should help with the tiredness.” He put Vandarian into his crib and covered him with a light blanket.
“I didn’t say I was tired.”
“You didn’t have to.” Rose smiled at him, and then put her hand to the back of her neck, giving a little pull against the tightness of the muscles there. “Neck hurting?” he asked.
“Yeah, and shoulders, too. He weighs so little, but the muscles I use to hold him in the nursing position are aching.
“Sit down,” he said and Rose sat on the edge of the bed. He climbed up behind her and began to knead the tension away. “You’ve got a knot the size of Dare’s fist right here,” he said, smooth fingers working.
Rose reached back and moved her hair out of the way after he caught a stray strand and accidently pulled it. “Sorry, love,” he said.
“It’s okay.” She relaxed into the pleasant massage, his hands magically untying the knot that had been bothering her for the last three weeks.
“You should have said something sooner,” the Doctor admonished. “I would have been happy to work on you.”
“I don’t think I’d have been sure enough of you then,” she said.
His hands stilled for a moment. “Does that mean you’re sure enough of me now?” he asked gently.
“I trust you,” she said. It wasn’t exactly an answer to his question. She squirmed. “Don’t stop,” she said.
He resumed his movements, warring with himself on whether or not to lean down and kiss the nape of her neck. He really shouldn’t. She’d just said she trusted him and she’d told him earlier that she wasn’t ready to move that quickly.
He sighed and Rose leaned back into him instinctively. His hands stilled again and she twisted against him. For a moment he thought she was going to kiss him, but then she pulled abruptly away and stood up. “Thank you,” she said. “That’s so much better. I’m going to go take a shower.”
“Okay.” He watched her as she disappeared into the bathroom and then he stretched out on his side of the bed. He was only going to close his eyes for a moment and think on the progress he’d made with Rose, but suddenly his energy drained from him and he was asleep.
When Rose emerged from the washroom and saw the Doctor sprawled across the bed and heard him snoring lightly, she grinned. He looked quite a bit like his son at the moment. She walked over to him and loosened his tie, pulling it free of his collar and unbuttoning the top two buttons of his shirt, her fingers brushing the skin she exposed and causing her to flush at the sensation. Then she took an extra blanket from the closet and covered him with it.
Pulling back the blankets she slipped into her side of the bed. “Lights down, please,” she told the TARDIS, and the ship hummed lightly at her, doing as she requested. With a soft smile she looked at her sleeping husband. Her hand sought his in the dark. When she found it, she grasped it, and closed her eyes. She slept soon after, finally feeling at peace with the man beside her.
Ch. 7&8: http://amberfocus.livejournal.com/80773.html
