Repercussions (2/55)

[amberfocus]

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Chapter Two:  The TARDIS Weeps

I try not to let the blind sense of panic overwhelm me, shoving it hard to some other place in my brain. I have to be wrong. I must be. It is just the thought that we could have died that makes him be more affectionate than normal. I force the muscles that have tensed for flight to relax and eventually we shake out our limbs and stand up, the Doctor’s hand automatically reaching for mine. This at least is normal.  He never has qualms about holding hands, uses it often to pull me along at speed.

We wander through the halls of a Torchwood in chaos, so many humans still in such a state of fear. It isn’t possible for them to know it is over, that the threat is defeated. So many people are cowering in cupboards, under desks, in supply closets. It is easy enough for us to slip down to the TARDIS unaccosted.

The Doctor puts his key in the lock of the TARDIS and pulls his hand away, shaking it as if burned. “What happened?” I ask barely trusting my own voice to speak.

“Don’t know. Some kind of shock,” he says. “Maybe Torchwood tried to booby-trap her.” He reaches back hesitantly but finds no negative response this time. The key turns in the lock and we are soon back in the familiar safety of the Doctor’s beloved ship.

I place my hand on one of the support pillars and find myself overwhelmed with a sadness so severe I burst into tears. I pull my hand away as the ship shudders within my head. And the singing I can always hear in the back of my mind whenever I touch the TARDIS, the singing that has been there since I’d once absorbed part of her heart, sounds like sobbing instead.

“What’s wrong, Rose?” the Doctor asks and he is instantly by my side. He wraps his arms around me. But I can’t find the words as he holds me to him. I am confused beyond the telling of it. “Was it just the day? Did it overwhelm you?” he asks.

“Can we go see my mum and dad?” I asks. I need mum’s stability at the moment. Not that the Doctor will ever see my mother as quite stable. She’d almost gotten a ride in the TARDIS this morning, until I’d reminded the Doctor she was still on board as he was about to dematerialize. That thought shakes me through. If she’d come with us…

Even though she hadn’t, that doesn’t mean she was safe at home. I remember how the ghost had materialized in her kitchen and that the ghosts had turned out to be Cybermen and hers was certainly not Grandpa Prentiss. Mum is clever and if anyone can make it through something like a Cyberman in every home, it will be her. Dad will have been at work.  And that may be his downfall.

The Doctor looks uncertain as I pull away from him and raise my eyes to his. “It’s possible your parents…” He trails off, unwilling to finish that sentence.

“I know. But I need to know.” I close my eyes as I think about my parents. If they haven’t survived, what would I do without them?

As if reading my mind the Doctor tells me, "You will always have a home with me, Rose.  No matter what happens to your parents.  You know that, don't you?"  His eyes are liquid and warm as they gaze at me.

I nod mutely, clamping down hard on my surprise.  It is yet another indicator to me that something is off about him and that tiny ball of anxiety that is in my stomach increases. The Doctor moves to the controls of the TARDIS, frowning as he sets the coordinates.

“She doesn’t feel right,” he says under his breath. I move forward and place a hand against the console and again feel the intense flash of grief from the TARDIS.  She is as aware as I am that something isn't right.  Then I realize what it is.

“She’s mourning,” I say unsure how I know this, but know it I do.

He frowns, focusing within his mind, and I see him nod his head minutely. “She is, though I can’t see what makes her mourn.  She's...she's hiding it from me." He looks worried as he finishes programming the ship and it takes off a bit sluggishly.

Usually we materialize around the corner from the Powell Estate, but today the Doctor lands the ship inside my bedroom in my parent's flat. It takes me a moment to screw up my courage and go out in search of my family. Fright overpowers me at what I see.

Pt. 3:  http://amberfocus.livejournal.com/58967.html