Post Pomp (11/22)

[amberfocus]

A/N:  Let me just preface this chapter with the fact that I really am a Doctor/Rose shipper (Nine or Ten, I don't care, I love them both for different reasons) as you should well know by all my other stories, but I get my kicks keeping them miserable for long bouts of time before making them ecstatically happy. I am not a Jack/Rose shipper, but I was never blind to their chemsity either and I really like the Young!Jack/Rose dynamic, so be warned I will be playing with that for the next few chapters, because Ten's heart has to pay when he shows up in chapter fourteen.

Chapter Eleven:  Two Hundred Thirty-Five Days

As Jack walked the corridors of the Time Agency’s largest rescue and recovery ship, he understood one thing. He was a goner. He’d been a goner from the day Rose had asked him to hold her. Possibly longer, but that was the day that he knew for sure that Rose was not some passing fancy or agency project who needed an eye kept on. That was the day when her amber eyes had locked with his and she’d trusted him enough to seek comfort in his touch.

It wasn’t like him to just hold back and not make his feelings known. Of course usually his feelings weren’t led by his head or his heart they were led by his hormones. But he knew better than to tread so casually down that path with Rose. Not just because she was in recovery from something that had nearly killed her, and his fists clenched unconsciously at that thought, or because she was in the middle of a broken heart the likes of which he’d never seen before, but because he knew without a shadow of a doubt that she could be the one that he spent the rest of his life with. No man or woman had ever had that effect on him before.

The only thing scarier than realizing that fact was knowing that Rose’s heart and head had already made a choice of who she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. According to Mickey, she’d made that choice a long time ago, leaving behind her mum, her boyfriend who only became an ex because of the Doctor, and her century and planet. Every fiber of his being wanted him to change her mind, to consider him instead. And there was no way he could even attempt to do that when her head was so confused. Not to Rose.

The best thing, the only thing, he could do for her was to bring back her knight in tarnished armor. Again, his fists clenched reflexively. Permission had come through that morning and he had twenty days to prepare for slip back. He didn’t need it, he’d become fluent in old Terran French and an expert on the society, but rules were rules and the one thing Jack didn’t do was break time agency rules. At least not when the higher ups were looking, he thought with an irreverent grin. And for some reason they were looking quite intently at this whole situation with Rose.

From the fact that two 21st century kids had been stranded on a 51st century ship that had at one time had time panels opening up into several years of 18th century France, to the strange blue box Mickey had somehow been stored in that was still emanating Vortex energy and the mysterious Cara who had said she was part of Rose’s ship, though he’d yet to see Rose’s ship, the Time Agency was baffled.

This kind of thing didn’t happen. They were the ones in charge of manipulating time. There had been legends of a race of ancient time manipulators for centuries but Jack had never seen one, never met anyone who actually had. He wondered about the possibility of this Doctor being a member of that race. Rose hadn’t mentioned much about him but she had said he wasn’t human and could control time and space. And if he could control it, then that man had no business not being at Rose’s bedside right now.

He found himself outside the door to the infirmary at last and headed to Rose’s room. She was sitting up on the edge of the bed waiting for him, a slightly anxious look on her face. “I thought you’d forgotten me,” she said in a somewhat lost voice.

Jack glanced at his watch. He was only five minutes late but obviously five minutes was a lifetime to someone who had lived through Rose’s situation. “Honey, they’d have to tear the memories from my head to ever make me forget you.” He hadn’t meant to say that and certainly not with the fierce intensity that it came out with. When she turned her glorious eyes on him he did something he’d never done before to his knowledge. He blushed from head to toe.

Her slow smile took over her face and the urge to reach out and cup her cheek was overwhelming. He couldn’t stop himself. His fingers brushed against the hollow, his thumb sliding over her cheekbone. Rose’s eyes closed and her skin flushed and he was rather relieved he wasn’t the only one blushing. Her hand came up to cover his and she leaned into the touch for a moment, before pulling his hand away and giving him a slightly confused and sad look.

“The medic said I can walk today. I haven’t tried more than a bit of a hobble about the room. I was waiting for you to go for a longer walk. I’d feel better having someone around to catch me if I fall. Do you think you can be that person for me?”

“Always,” he breathed.

Rose sucked in her lips and closed her eyes, swallowing. Jack cursed himself for his involuntary reactions to this woman. He was making her uncomfortable. But when she opened her eyes he didn’t see discomfort there, just more confusion and maybe a little bit of hope. She stood up and he slid one arm around her waist, the other reaching across himself to hold her nearest forearm. With hesitant steps, Rose began to walk, Jack close beside her.

She made it halfway down the corridor before she had to pause for a rest. Sweat beaded on her forehead at the effort she had made. “We don’t have to go any further than this if you’re not comfortable,” Jack said. He heard the little catch in her breath at his words and wondered what had caused it.

“Rose? Are you all right?” He leaned her up against the wall and moved so that he was looking into her eyes. Her fingers reached out for his forearms, plucking at the fabric of his uniform. He tilted her chin up until she was looking at him.

“I don’t think I can go any further right now, Jack. It’s too soon. You’ll have to carry me. If you don’t mind.”

“Course not,” he said, swinging her up in his arms like she weighed nothing. “Let’s get you back to bed.”

“Not to bed,” said Rose. “Not yet. I’m going stir crazy in the infirmary. This is a big ship. Isn’t there somewhere we can go that’s a little more open? Somewhere we can have a bit of space?”

“There’s the conservatory.”

“Take me there, then.” She relaxed into his arms, her head resting trustingly against his chest. His heart picked up a little speed. He wondered if she could hear it under her ear.

The conservatory was beautiful. The ceiling was a hologram of a gorgeous summer sky, pale blue with a few wispy white clouds drifting past. Large flowering plants were spaced throughout the room and there were a half dozen comfortable padded benches scattered throughout in little groupings with the plants, creating little privacy zones.

“At night the hologram shuts off and you can see the stars,” Jack said. Rose shivered. “Not too keen on the stars at the moment?” he asked her with sudden understanding.

“No. They’re just a reminder.” Jack sat down on one of the benches. He was expecting Rose to climb down off his lap, but she remained snuggled against him. Not that he was complaining ,but now that she was sitting in his lap he might have problems concealing his attraction to her. Still, if she didn’t wiggle around too much he might have a chance. His mind skipped to the sixteen page list of rules of pan-dimensional Denebian billiards as he forced his hormones to circulate a little less precisely in his system.

When he was sure he was in check again he said, “I’ve got permission to go and retrieve your Doctor. I leave in twenty days.”

Rose didn’t say anything, but he knew she had heard him. Her body had gone rigid. His hand crept up to the middle of her back and he began stroking her in slow lazy circles until the tension began to leave her body. Unfortunately a different kind of tension was returning to his. She pulled away from him a bit and looked up at him, her lips trembling. “Twen…” She tried again. “Twenty days?”

He nodded at her. Worry and fear crept into her eyes. “What if he doesn’t want to come back?” she asked sounding so heartbreakingly sad that he really couldn’t help what he did next.

“Then he’s a fool.” And he closed the distance between their faces and brought his lips down upon hers, stilling the shaking of her mouth as she froze. Jack held back, just lightly brushing his lips across hers, waiting to see what she would do. He had told himself over and over again that he wouldn’t do this, that Rose’s heart was just too fragile for him to allow his own emotions to override his concern for her condition.

When Rose didn’t back away from him his heart began to beat a bit faster. She wasn’t leaning into him or doing anything to really encourage him, but she wasn’t stopping him, either. Hesitantly he increased the pressure just a little, firming his lips against hers and felt the tiniest bit of pressure being returned. The tip of his tongue flicked out to touch the corner of her mouth, testing to see if she would open for him or not.

She didn’t, but she did kiss back a little harder and one hand came up to thread through his hair. Again, he tested her mouth with his tongue and felt her yield slightly before she pulled away and she rested her head back against his shoulder.

“Rose?”

“Jack, I…” She trailed off.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I shouldn’t have done that.”

“No, you shouldn’t have,” she said, a tinge of regret in her voice. “But it’s not the first time you’ve kissed me, at least for me it’s not. And knowing you, Jack, it won’t be the last.”

“And…and how would you feel about that?” he stammered, so unsure of himself for the first time since he’d become sexually aware.

“You don’t want me, Jack Harkness. I’m broken.” Her voice was so very sad that the urge to kiss her again nearly overcame him.

“You could be shattered,” he said boldly, “And I’d put all the pieces back together just to kiss you again.”

Her hand reached out and caught his, threading their fingers together. “I know you would, Jack. If I let you. I know you would.”

“But you’re not going to let me, are you?”

Rose sighed and didn’t speak for a long time. When she finally did she said, in a voice almost too quiet for him to hear, “I don’t know what I’m going to do. Not anymore.”

8.  http://amberfocus.livejournal.com/41020.html