Can I Just Rewind the Week?
Nov. 13th, 2012 08:08 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
amberfocusThis week, I don't even know. First we find out that DH's father is going to have to have heart surgery in the next six months or he will die. Considering his last heart surgery left him in a nursing home for six weeks and he is the sole support of his household (just him and MIL, though they do help SIL as they can), this is going to be financially hard for them. Also, the type of surgery he needs will involve the part of the aorta that runs into the spinal column so there is a high chance of paralysis from the chest down because they have to pull it out some and the spine will be cut off from it's blood flow. The only doctors that routinely do this sort of surgery and have a high rate of not paralyzing their patients are in Texas and Minnesota. Nothing local.
So that will add in the expense of plane fare and hotel fare for MIL and of course food costs on top of not working. So expensive surgery in an expensive locale and possible paralysis versus do nothing and die within a year. And that's assuming FIL can even fly in this condition. At least he's got disability insurance and medical insurance. And some paid vacation. That will help. Hopefully it will be enough.
Second, because that can't possibly be enough, my mother got back the results of her MRI today. She's apparently had 2 mini-strokes in the past couple of months, which explains an awful lot about some of her memory lapses. They didn't seem like Alzheimers, which I've been through twice now with Dad and Grandma, and seen from the periphery with Chris' grandma years ago. There has been a general slow down in thinking. It takes longer but she gets there. So now I'm wondering just how much longer she is going to be around. I have always said she would outlive me out of sheer stubborness, but now I'm not so sure. She's 73. Maybe it'll come sooner than I thought.
I don't want to face the possibility of Mom being gone. It hasn't even been a year since Dad died, but I was prepared for that. I'm not at all prepared for Mom to die. Not at all. I'd like a time out from all this real life stuff. It feels like I'm drowning. I just want it all to be okay again.
So that will add in the expense of plane fare and hotel fare for MIL and of course food costs on top of not working. So expensive surgery in an expensive locale and possible paralysis versus do nothing and die within a year. And that's assuming FIL can even fly in this condition. At least he's got disability insurance and medical insurance. And some paid vacation. That will help. Hopefully it will be enough.
Second, because that can't possibly be enough, my mother got back the results of her MRI today. She's apparently had 2 mini-strokes in the past couple of months, which explains an awful lot about some of her memory lapses. They didn't seem like Alzheimers, which I've been through twice now with Dad and Grandma, and seen from the periphery with Chris' grandma years ago. There has been a general slow down in thinking. It takes longer but she gets there. So now I'm wondering just how much longer she is going to be around. I have always said she would outlive me out of sheer stubborness, but now I'm not so sure. She's 73. Maybe it'll come sooner than I thought.
I don't want to face the possibility of Mom being gone. It hasn't even been a year since Dad died, but I was prepared for that. I'm not at all prepared for Mom to die. Not at all. I'd like a time out from all this real life stuff. It feels like I'm drowning. I just want it all to be okay again.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2012-11-14 05:04 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-11-14 05:04 am (UTC)When my friend had heart surgery at major university hospitals in Chicago, his wife was able to stay at university housing one surgery, and the other time in a room in the hospital. MIL might be able to arrange something like that, which wouldn't be so expensive.
no subject
Date: 2012-11-14 07:17 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-11-14 07:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-11-14 08:29 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-11-14 07:43 pm (UTC)*hugs*
no subject
Date: 2012-11-15 09:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-11-16 06:59 pm (UTC)If there's anything I can do, even if it's just a friendly ear to vent to, let me know.
Sending you big HUGS.
no subject
Date: 2012-11-26 01:12 am (UTC)