A Lesser Woman (1/1)

[amberfocus]

A/N:  Azriona wanted the other side of the story, so here's Rose's point of view and why she'd ever get involved with the man.  It's much more angsty and a little hopeless.  But that's as it should be.  Rose/Master.  Alternate Universe.  And don't worry, the smut is still coming along for YW?


                                                         A Lesser Woman

Rose Tyler has learned not to ignore her compulsions so when something tells her to walk into the little café she does so. She immediately finds the reason, beyond reason, why as her eyes find and lock onto the man with the youthful open face that says hello to her without words ever being spoken. She does not know what draws her his way; only that it is there, that he is different and that she has found a man who one day might prove to be her downfall.

They do speak because she goes to him, somehow cannot stay away. He says his name is Harry and she thinks it doesn’t suit him. He looks more important than the name allows for, looks like he ought to command authority and rule the planet, but he seems not to have an interest in that at present. It’s just as well. Something tells her that he might be a little too good at it if he took it into his head to try.

 

She doesn’t care. For so long there has been no one, nothing, because after the love of your life vanishes forever how can there ever be anything to match that? To find someone, anyone, who stirs something, anything within her is enough and when he seeks her out again and again, she chooses not to deny his attentions. She won’t pretend he’s no one. He’s so much more than that.

 

She isn’t sure she likes him, isn’t sure she should have anything to do with him, but he wants to be around her and he doesn’t treat her like she’s broken even though she is. She’s not sure what he thinks of her, at times there is a respect in his eyes and at other times when he looks at her she sees loathing, but she doesn’t think it’s directed at her. She rather thinks he feels it for himself.

 

She finds him sad one day and offers comfort, just a pat of the hand, the first time they touch and he grasps at her fingers as she begins to pull away and something odd flashes through her, like she knows this touch, has felt it before, will feel it for the rest of her life. It unsettles her greatly but she doesn’t pull her hand away. He could burn her and she might let him, because at least it means she’ll feel.

 

Despite herself she lets him in because she can’t seem to not. He becomes important to her functioning in the real world again and though she does not heal in his presence, she sometimes can forget. She’s almost living again, though she never will, quite, be whole. He’s not enough for that.

 

She’s surprised he wants to have her, surprised more so when he asks her twice. It is not the first time a man of some importance has asked her twice for something. He’s not the Doctor. He never will be. But she can’t have what she wants. Perhaps it’s okay to give Harry what he wants. Then someone might be happy. She says yes.

 

She expects him to be hard and rough, would welcome it in this moment of betrayal, but is surprised by tenderness and consideration. It almost hurts because she realizes in that moment that he loves her and she will never feel the same for him. But the sex is good and she is content as he holds her because for whole minutes she forgot her pain, and that confuses her because she did not expect it.

 

After the night is over she knows she’ll allow it to happen again. She’ll welcome it, really. She’s made her decision and chosen to let go. She’s tired of fighting. She’ll choose to be a lesser woman if she can lose her pain for even just this small space of time spent in his bed. 

Comments

[othermewriter.livejournal.com]

Okay serious angsting and this I can see. If nothing else part of her is going to recognize that he is a time lord even if he isn't her Time Lord.

[amberfocus.livejournal.com]

Exactly. She is drawn to that in him.

[nattieb.livejournal.com]

You are killing me with angst here.

Please some smut or some fluff (that involves the OTP).

*points to icon*
pretty please?

[amberfocus.livejournal.com]

Well, you know me. Angst is my favorite genre. Okay, baby!fic is my favorite genre, but angst is a close second. Yes, the smut was posted last night in You're What? if you haven't got there yet. And there is some coming up hopefully tonight with HM, too.

[azriona.livejournal.com]

WHOO-HOOO!!!

looks like he ought to command authority and rule the planet, but he seems not to have an interest in that at present.

*snerk*

But then...oh. I didn't expect this. That as the Master finds his footing, his morality...Rose loses hers.

for whole minutes she forgot her pain, and that confuses her because she did not expect it.

She’ll choose to be a lesser woman if she can lose her pain for even just this small space of time

Wow. Those work so well together! YOU ROCK. And thank you!




Oh, and lastly?

She doesn’t care.

This made me laugh. Because it's clearly the bunnies you sent me telling you to write this line. You'll see.

[amberfocus.livejournal.com]

Yeah, he's still reeling a bit from his last defeat to consider trying to take over this Earth.

As for the Rose losing her morality, so to speak, it seemed to me it had to be like this the first time. I don't think she would stay this hardened from him forever, not really. It's Rose and she's good and in the end she'll stand up. But not just now.

And you're welcome. You got my plot bunnies jumping when you asked. They were very eager to explain things.

So when is this Nine/Rose smut!fic going to be ready anyway. I'm getting curiouser and curiouser and you just keep teasing me with hints of what's to come. And oh, I just really can't ever get away from the naughty puns, can I?

[azriona.livejournal.com]

It's with my beta now, so whenever she finishes it. I'm hoping it'll be the Sunday Morning Smut this week; I suspect after Saturday's show, we'll need it.

[dragonmom64.livejournal.com]

Ow! Poor Rose, still hurting so badly. And letting Harry take her just so that she'll feel something...ouch! Hope to hear more from this AU...someday....

[amberfocus.livejournal.com]

How'd I miss responding to this one? Yeah, she really was hurting, but she found a way past it for just a little while. I may revisit this but I have no idea when.

[wiggiemomsi.livejournal.com]

Oh, this SO works! I can see Rose, so full of loss and pain, that a "lesser" Timelord is preferable to no Doctor.

"But she can’t have what she wants. Perhaps it’s okay to give Harry what he wants. Then someone might be happy. She says yes." -- Oh, so painful to read this.

Very, very good fic!

[amberfocus.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I don't know why this experiment works but it feels like it does. Though I feel like I'm cheating on my ship by writing it. *laughs*

[maniacalshen.livejournal.com]

This is an excellent companion piece. :)

[amberfocus.livejournal.com]

Thank you. They feel like an interlocking set of fics, as if I planned it that way, but I only meant to write the first one. Still, it works.

[ravenclaw-devil.livejournal.com]

Double wow!!!

I loved reading Rose's side to this even though it killed me.

Painfully.

^goes off to nurse wounded heart^

[amberfocus.livejournal.com]

Aw, well I did write some smut for chapter 17 of You're What? so maybe that will help heal you're heart?

[sunnytyler001.livejournal.com]

Awww!!! Poor Rose! And poor Master! He is going to hate it when he'll learn she still loves the Doctor....

[amberfocus.livejournal.com]

Well, so far he doesn't know about the Doctor because she doesn't trust him enough to have shared her past with him, and of course he's told her nothing of who he really is. If I ever develop these more fully, that might be something they hide from each other for a very long time and then when it comes out, pop goes the world.

You don't happen to know where I can find some more Master/Rose icons, do you?

[sunnytyler001.livejournal.com]

On my journal, there are some.
http://sunnytyler001.livejournal.com/tag/rose+%26+the+master
(I quite like the "Children of Time" one..; with little rose & little master. Both actors are very cute!
And of course, there is "Sweet revenge", the master/Rose community.
http://community.livejournal.com/master_rose/

[amberfocus.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much. I took a couple of Rose/Master and a couple of Eight/Rose for upcoming fics and will credit when used.

[sunnytyler001.livejournal.com]

Wait, Eight/Rose? So you're going to write Eight/Rose stories?????? YAY!!!!!!!
I can't wait!

[amberfocus.livejournal.com]

Just the one in the Better With You series, the one that goes back and explains the time war and what happened. Rose will cross paths with Eight in it, but Romana will be there, the original universe Nine will be in it a little, and Rose and alt!Nine will be together for most of it. There's some serious timey whimey stuff, but it's a long ways off. But I'm planning at least two full chapters with Eight and Rose working together, possibly more. There might even be a version of the Master in that one. Haven't decided yet.

[bluevolvic.livejournal.com]

Oooo! that is beautifully angsty, Iloved it, are you going to write more? This is really good:D

[amberfocus.livejournal.com]

Could do at some point. Not sure when. I really wrote it to get it out of my head. But it seems to like hanging out there for some reason. Probably the same reason I like Draco/Hermione when it's completely and utterly wrong.