amberfocus | You're What?: Chapter Fifteen

Chapter 14: http://amberfocus.livejournal.com/83901.html
A/N: Well, after throwing out the first chapter fifteen altogether, and the second chapter fifteen because my beta said it significantly changed the storyline too quickly without the appropriate levels of anticipation, unresolved sexual tension and self-doubt it needed to be one of my stories, she finally agreed that the third chapter fifteen worked. I'm still a little unsure, but she said to shut up and post it. Since I trust JeopardyFriendly's judgement implicitly, here it is. Hope it does work.

Temptation

The Doctor had told Rose he could wait, but he was beginning to see that waiting was not his particular strong suit. It had been nearly a month since the day Jack had locked him and Rose up in the infirmary together, and things had improved remarkably from that day much to the overly smug Jack’s satisfaction, though not immediately. It was more that very, very slowly life was returning to normal. Or at least a form of normal. Normal before he had gotten Rose pregnant. Normal before he and Rose had become lovers. He wanted normal after he and Rose had become lovers, despite the fact that he didn’t have the right to it. The fact that he might never have the right to make love to Rose again ate at him constantly.

In an effort to distract himself from this fact, they had started travelling again, though he was a lot more careful in his choice of planets and time frames, always double checking them with the TARDIS that the place or time they had ended up landing in was in fact the place or time they’d aimed for. Or if it wasn’t, that at the very least it was a relatively safe place to let his pregnant…Rose wander around in. It meant life wasn’t quite as exciting as he was used to, but he certainly had enough ups and downs with Rose’s mood swings to counterbalance that.

He couldn’t blame Rose for the mood swings. And even if he could do, he wouldn’t dare even think about it. She was teetering on the edge enough as it was without him doing the slightest thing to tip her right over. Even though the medication she was on had managed to control the hyperemesis and she was keeping her food down and slowly gaining weight at a steady rate, her hormones were still at an extremely elevated level.

The human chorionic gonadotropin in her system was double the normal amount it should be for a normal human gestation as her body tried desperately to adjust to the excessive needs caused by a cross-species pregnancy. He had to test her blood on a daily basis and adjust her medications continuously in an effort to keep her on an even keel. It made Rose feel lousy and it made her sometimes feel angry towards him for getting her pregnant in the first place and she still carried some resentment for how he’d treated her for too long. But more often than that, she was simply filled with a sadness that broke his heart when he saw how it overwhelmed her. He knew in those moments she didn’t even recognize the fact that he loved her.

Not that he could blame Rose for how she felt. He’d done such a number on her that even after he’d been on his best behavior for the last four weeks, he’d still catch her looking at him like she didn’t quite believe he was for real after he did something kind. She hadn’t let him kiss her again, though occasionally there had been hugs that she had initiated. He didn’t dare.

There were even times on her better days when he caught her glancing at him speculatively, even ogling him with appreciation when she thought he couldn’t see, but she didn’t ask for and he didn’t offer extra affection. He wanted to, though. So badly. He missed her. The last few days had been better. She seemed to be softening toward him and her mood had improved remarkably.

When they’d landed on Torvian, famed for its multi-planetary marketplace, and Jack had gone off to search for parts to repair the TARDIS with, Rose asked the Doctor rather plaintively, “Would you…do you think maybe…” Rose huffed and looked away from him.

He hated it that she was still so unsure of herself around him. “What is it, Rose?” he asked her gently, his big fingers tilting her chin up and bringing her eyes to meet his. Was it his imagination or was she leaning into his touch?

“Can you take me shopping?” she asked him. “I wouldn’t…I wouldn’t ask, but…my clothes are…the baby’s getting bigger and…well, there’re no maternity clothes in the wardrobe room.”

“No need for them. Never had a pregnant female on board before,” he said softly. She stared at him steadily until he realized he hadn’t answered her question. “Of course, I’ll take you shopping.”

“I could…I could go on my own, you know. I know you hate shopping…”

“No!” he said a little too quickly and she flinched at his adamance. He didn’t want her going out of his sight on such a crowded, bustling planet. He softened his words. “No, Rose. I want to go with you.”

She smiled at him then. Smiled for the first time in such a long time where he felt she meant it. “You sure?” she asked.

“Yeah. We’ll find you some lovely things to show off your new belly,” he said with a grin.

She gave him an odd look. “Do you like it, then?” she asked a little shyly. “The changes? You don’t just think I’m getting fat?”

He gave her a dark look. “I like it,” he said and his voice was nearly a growl. “If you’d let me, I’d show you just how much I like the changes.”

It was the first time he’d dared to make a sexual inference towards her since she’d told him she was pregnant and he’d acted like a total git. He enjoyed the way she reacted to it. There was no anger. She flushed deeply and he could see longing in her eyes for the first time, could hear the way her heartbeat increased and smell other changes in her body as she surged with pheromones when she thought about what he’d just said.

If it had been up to Rose’s body he had a feeling shopping might have been off the menu right there and then. As it happened, Rose’s mind was in charge for the moment and she turned away from him abruptly and made her way to the doors. “So shopping?” she asked.

“Your wish is my command,” he told her.

When they stepped into the crowded marketplace Rose surprised him by slipping her hand into his. He couldn’t tell if she’d done it because she wanted to or if she just felt the need to stay close to him in the hustle and flow of the masses. Whatever the reason, she was voluntarily touching him and it sent a pleasing ache through his chest. He herded her through the maze of stalls and towards the clothing vendors.

“Why don’t we find you something you can wear now first?” he asked as Rose wiped at the perspiration that had appeared upon her brow as they walked through the intense heat of the arid city. “Something cooler so the rest of our shopping will be more pleasant for you?”

Rose smiled up at him sweetly at his solicitude and his stomach did a little flip. She hadn’t looked at him like that in…had she ever looked at him like that? Was she starting to forgive him? “Come on,” he said tugging her over to some brightly colored gauzy fabrics. “See anything you fancy?” he asked her as she fingered through the choices.

Rose turned to him for a moment and gave him a searching look. “Why you doing this, Doctor?” she asked him.

He squeezed the hand that was still holding his. “I want you to be comfortable.” He didn’t quite answer the question she had asked. He wasn’t quite sure how. She studied him with a slightly confused look on her face then tugged her hand away to lift a fluttery confection in graduated shades from sky blue to indigo from the hanging rod.

The Doctor turned to the vendor and asked politely, “Is there a place where my Sera-qua can try on this outfit for size?”

The vendor nodded to a curtained alcove in the back of her stall and Rose moved in that direction. It was several minutes before Rose emerged and when she did the Doctor’s breath caught in his chest. She was lovely. The top of the garment fastened around the back of her neck, crisscrossing across her breasts and fastening to the sides of the trousers. There was no back to the top and Rose’s belly was completely exposed. The fabric was nearly see-through, only darkening enough to protect Rose’s modesty across her chest. The trousers hung like harem pants, and if the top hadn’t been attached to the sides of it, they may have simply slid right off her body. The bottoms were see-through as well, except for the portion covering between her hips and the uppermost portion of her thighs, again the material darkening there to protect her feminine privacy.

The rounded swelling of Rose’s abdomen stirred something primal in him and if they hadn’t been in public he might have decided to throw caution completely to the wind and beg Rose to take him back into her bed right then and there. As it was, if he didn’t get his mind very quickly off of Rose’s body right now, he was going to have a very difficult time walking through the marketplace to do the rest of their shopping.

“Well,” she asked, “how do I look?”

He couldn’t help himself as the sentence flew out of his mouth. “Good enough to eat.” The sensuality that dripped from his words left no doubt to what he had meant and Rose blushed fiercely under his appreciative gaze. She did not reprimand him or get angry at him as he half expected. Instead her eyes traced down the length of his body.

In deference to the heat he had left both his leather jacket and his jumper in the TARDIS, opting instead for a plain light blue t-shirt and his usual jeans. He felt half naked as her gaze trailed down the muscles of his arms, then down all the way to his feet. As she raised her eyes they seemed to get stuck halfway up his body and she flushed again before raising her eyes to meet his. Embarrassed by her obvious sudden streak of lust she turned to look at herself in the nearby mirror.

“It’s comfortable,” she said. “It fits. And I like its effect.”

The Doctor swallowed hard and handed a credit bar over to the vendor. “We’ll take it and she’d like to wear it out.” The vendor gave Rose a bag for her old garments and quickly rang up their purchase. Afterwards the Doctor reached out for the bag and after she’d handed it over she quickly slipped her hand back into his.

As they walked along Rose kept stopping and turning into him, pointing out little things of interest that she saw. Every time she did it her breast would graze his arm and it was happening with such frequency he was beginning to think she was doing it on purpose. Only…well, wouldn’t Rose have told him if she was ready to resume their previous relationship? It was possible it was all completely innocent, except when they’d first become lovers she had often teased him like that throughout the day as promise for what would come that evening. She knew the effect of her body rubbing against his.

He clamped down hard on his emotions and triggered a hormone dampening wave of chemicals to flush through his body. Didn’t matter what Rose did, it mattered what she said and until she clearly and without any possibility of misunderstanding invited him to be her lover again, it didn’t matter what her actions told him. He wouldn’t risk being wrong. They’d made too much progress in the last month for him to backtrack. He’d wait for Rose to make the first move and at least that way there’d be no mistaking her intentions.

Chapter 16: http://amberfocus.livejournal.com/86042.html