You're What? (1/?)

[amberfocus]

A/N:  So Devastate is hiding from me and Hunger Moon is playing hard to get and this has been rumbling around in my head for awhile.  It's kind of angry at first, but will settle down more into the usual angstiness I think with some lighter moments to break it up.  So, it's an entry into the Ninuendoes and Miss Communications series, more in the miscommunications part of that category, not connected to Take it Back at all.  Nine/Rose, angry baby!fic, romance, hurt/comfort.

Chapter One:  Breaking the News

I’m going to kill him. I’m going to find a new, unusual and extremely uncomfortable and satisfying way of doing it, too. Not to mention painful. I’m going to make it last a long time, too, make him suffer. He’s going to beg for mercy by the time I’m done with him. He’s going to--. Rose’s angry thoughts broke off as she desperately grabbed for cool porcelain, leaned over the toilet bowl and vomited forcefully into it.

 

When she got herself back under control again she wiped at her face with tissue and blew her nose hard, then managed to flush the remnants of her stomach’s contents away before dragging herself over to the sink and washing her face and brushing her teeth.

 

Bloody, stupid, know-nothing, idiot Time Lord! She looked at the stick on the sink one last time, saw the little pink + sign and decided that death was too good for him. He was going to suffer every step of this so-called impossible pregnancy right along with her and he was going to be the one to explain things to her mum. With grim determination she went to find the father of her child.

 

 

 

“You’re what?” the Doctor growled at her, a fierce scowl washing over his face. It was as if he thought if she repeated herself she’d say another word.

 

“I’m pregnant,” Rose said firmly.

 

“How the hell did that happen?” he asked her.

 

“If I had to take a guess, I’d say it was probably all of the sex, Doctor, unless your species has some other way of conceiving you haven’t shared with me,” she replied tartly. “Excessive hand-holding, perhaps?”

 

“Don’t be silly,” he said. She glared at him. He looked uncomfortable and argumentative and downright grumpy. She felt irritated, hot, sweaty, and slightly green. They stared at each other in a long stand off until he blurted out, “But, well, it’s mine then?”

 

She smacked his arm, hard. “Who the hell else’s would it be?”

 

“I dunno. Mickey’s? Jack’s?” He sounded almost hopeful.

 

Rose flushed angrily. “You calling me unfaithful?” she bit out. “You think I’d cheat on you? How dare you!”

 

The Doctor backpedaled furiously. “Rose, I wasn’t--.”

 

“Yes, you were.”

 

“No. I wasn’t. I know you wouldn’t. I meant from before. Before we started sleeping together. Not after!” he said. “It’s possible, isn’t it? Only been a couple of months. You wouldn’t have been showing. You’re not showing at all,” he said his gaze trailing down to her flat stomach and curving hips and his eyes going off on a wander of their own as he took in the rest of her figure.

 

“Eyes up here, Doctor,” Rose said pointing to her face.

 

“Sorry,” he said not looking like he really was. “Look, Rose, it’s much more likely it’s a human baby. It’s nearly impossible for us to have--.”

 

“Nearly?” squeaked Rose. “Nearly?”

 

He had the grace to look sheepish. “Didn’t I say that before?”

 

“No, you did not. You said impossible!  That’s what you said when I mentioned maybe needing birth control, Doctor. ‘Oh, it’s not possible, Rose. Incompatible genetics, Rose. I can’t get you pregnant, Rose. They don’t make condoms big enough, Rose.’” She glanced down at his crotch. “Least that one was true.”

 

“I wasn’t lying. It shouldn’t be possible--.”

 

"Yeah, well, looky here, Doctor.” She smacked the pregnancy test down on the TARDIS console. “If it were any more positive it would be carrying a charge.”

 

“Rose, I just…I don’t know what to say. I don’t believe it.”

 

“You calling me a liar now, Doctor?” she asked furiously.

“Rose, No, I’m sorry. It’s…unexpected.” He said unexpected, but his tone said unwanted and she flinched. She had expected him to moan and groan, but she figured he’d at least help her cope. Now she was thinking that wasn’t going to be the case.

 

“No. You know what? You don’t have to be happy about this baby. I’m not exactly doing cartwheels about this baby. I’m nineteen, for goodness sake. Didn’t figure I’d be doing this for a good seven or eight years and I’m sure as hell not ready to do it now. So, no you don’t have to be happy, but you don’t have to be an arse about it either,” she said hotly.

 

“I’m not. Can’t you give me a minute to adjust, Rose? You’ve obviously had a little time to deal with this. You can’t expect me to just…accept it with open arms and jump up and down and say, ‘Yippee. I’m going to be a father.’ I’m not…I don’t want…” He trailed off.

 

“You don’t want it.” The anger went out of her voice so suddenly she felt like a deflated balloon and she ducked her head down. Despite her earlier bravado, if he didn’t want the baby or her anymore because of it, she wouldn’t try to force herself on him, wouldn’t force the child on him either. “Just…take me home,” she said softly. “You can go on back to your life, pretend you never met me, and I’ll…raise our baby on my own.”

 

“You’re going to keep it?” The Doctor sounded shocked.

 

“’Course I am,” she told him. “He’s a part of you, isn’t he? You think I’d just get rid of him? Might be easy for you to chuck people out of your life just like that, but if he’s all I get to keep of you after you dump me off, then he’s all I get. I’ll live with it, Doctor. I’m a big girl.”

 

“You’re a child, Rose.”

 

“Yeah? A child, am I? That’s convenient, isn’t it? I’m a woman when you bury yourself inside my body and scream out my name when you come. But I’m a child when I want to stand up and take responsibility for letting you? That’s rich, Doctor. You’re a right bastard, you know that?”

 

“Rose--.”

 

“And just for the record, I’ve never slept with Jack and I haven’t slept with Mickey since I met you. Git.”

 

She turned away from him and stormed out of the TARDIS. The night was bright and full of stars and she stomped her way towards the beach. She stood on the overlook staring out at the crashing waves and wishing that she’d never allowed the Doctor to touch her. Angry tears came to her eyes as she thought about what she was about to go through.

 

She knew what it was like to grow up without a dad and she couldn’t even imagine what it would be like for her own child who’d be half alien on top of it. With no one to talk to about where he’d come from. And what would Rose tell him? Your dad’s a time travelling alien from a mythical race that no longer exists because he killed them all and then knocked me up and walked away? It’d be true, but she’d never be able to tell him that. She loved the Doctor too much to make him out as the man he was currently being.

 

Rose paced back and forth on the edge of the bluff, her mind awash with all of her doubt and uncertainty. How was she going to do this? How was she going to do any of it? Once he left her, she knew she wouldn’t see him again. And he never had any money, so it wasn’t like she could expect a monthly support check.

 

Hot tears streaked down her cheeks. It wasn’t fair. She loved him and she was pretty sure that he loved her, least he acted like it most days and he was an unexpectedly big cuddler after sex and men didn’t do that, not in her limited experience or from what her girlfriends told her anyway, unless they were head over heels.

 

The idea of an abortion flitted through her head and flitted right back out again. She couldn’t do that. No matter how much easier it would make the rest of her life. Not to a baby she had made with him. Not ever. She just wished…well, he wouldn’t be the last anymore, would he? There’d be another of his kind, true half human, but still beggars couldn’t be choosers and she knew how hard it had been on him being so alone in his great big, old empty, Time Lord brain. And her child…her child would share that telepathic loneliness because he wouldn’t be there to lessen it.

 

Rose couldn’t even consider adoption because who knew what kind of weird alien quirks might come up. Two hearts? Allergies to human medication? Different colored blood? Not that she could give away his child any more than she could abort it. No, she was going to be a mum. And she’d be doing it without him.

 

A horrible pang shot through her as she realized what that meant. No more Doctor in her life. No more Doctor. She sobbed suddenly as the full impact of that loss hit her, and her knees collapsed as she fell to the ground. As she did so she overbalanced, slipped over the side of the bluff and fell down the cliff face to the sand on the beach below.

Chapter 2.  http://amberfocus.livejournal.com/68071.html

Comments

[mynxii.livejournal.com]

I should know better than to start reading a brand new angsty hurt/comfort fic that you start and not have a few chapters at least up.

Please tell me you won't me wait long for more? *is hopeful*

This and the others might just kill me...

[angelfireeast.livejournal.com]

I should know better by now to do the same thing but I just don't seem to be able to wait that long.

[nattieb.livejournal.com]

You always come up with the best stories.

*hugs Rose*

They both had a shock and as with the other two stories in this series they aren't taking the time to listen.

I am sure you will sort it all out in the end though.

Sorry the other two are giving you such a hard time.

[amberfocus.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you think so. They often don't take the time to listen, these two. And I'm sure it'll all be sorted by the end, too. They usually are. *smiles*

[yenly-gozal.livejournal.com]

Oh, in 'Moments i Darkness' those two wanted a baby and you didn't give them (yet?)and yet... in this one, you gave them the baby, and they don't want it. Such an irony...

Anyway, I love this new story too. I've read some other stories in which when Rose got pregnant and The Doctor was happy. But this one, you showed that he doesn't want the baby. I hope they'll be okay. Looking forward for the next one.

[amberfocus.livejournal.com]

Yep, but I like irony, so... *shrugs* He's very afraid of this situation more than anything else. He just doesn't know how to show that.

[simplyn2deep.livejournal.com]

My mouth hung open not once, not twice, but three times! I've seen guys on day time talk shows, but geesh! way to get the emotions right on the head!

emotion for emotion, nearly word for word, right what I've been dealing with...albeit I haven't had the conversation with the guy, and he's no Time Lord, but that's how the conversations played out in my head.

[mynxii.livejournal.com]

Good luck with everything - I'm sorry you've been put in a situation that's not what you'd hoped for, and yet it sounds like you're getting there bit by bit. *support*

[fishface44.livejournal.com]

*smacks Doctor on the side of his head* Ok now I feel better. He is really going to have to better than this! Poor Rose!

You're brilliant, so I feel confident that your muse will be back with plenty of ideas for Hunger Moon & Devastate. :)

[amberfocus.livejournal.com]

Yeah, he probably needs some sense knocked into him right about now. Good thing Jack's there. And thanks.

[amyo67.livejournal.com]

Well, you just have to tease us don't you? HEEHEE.. I hope HM stops being stubborn and that this one just flows. Thanks for a great start to the story.
I have every faith you will eventually have them slow down and listen.

[amberfocus.livejournal.com]

Always. *laughs* DH and I have been doing some brainstorming for HM and BWY in general last night and today so I think I'm heading into a fix for ch. 12 now.

so gonna get it

[othermewriter.livejournal.com]

He is soo going to get it from Jackie, not that he wouldn't deserve it being such a git. Give him a good kick in the butt will you.

Re: so gonna get it

[amberfocus.livejournal.com]

Well, maybe a big scare?

[honorh.livejournal.com]

Well, you've successfully made me want to smack 'em both so far. Please tell me Jack brings some sense to the yard.

[amberfocus.livejournal.com]

That's what I was aiming at, really. *grins* Jack will definitely be in the mix here.

[allywest.livejournal.com]

I really liked this... I'd forgotten that spunky-fiesty side of Rose we saw in Season 1. LOL ...excessive hand holding.

[amberfocus.livejournal.com]

Oh, I love spunky, fiesty Rose. She's a blast to write. Glad you liked the excessive hand-holding line. *grins*

[ageless-aislynn.livejournal.com]

‘Oh, it’s not possible, Rose. Incompatible genetics, Rose. I can’t get you pregnant, Rose. They don’t make condoms big enough, Rose.’” She glanced down at his crotch. “Least that one was true.”

Heeeeeee... *giggles*

She smacked the pregnancy test down on the TARDIS console. “If it were any more positive it would be carrying a charge.”

*snorts* I love that line, lol! ;) But oh noes, Rose didn't hang on a cliff at the end here, she fell off it! O_O So sorry your other stories are giving you fits, hopefully things will fall in line for you soon! ;) ♥!

[amberfocus.livejournal.com]

Figured you'd get a giggle out of that line. And the one with a charge, that's a line that's been kicking around in my head for weeks just waiting to be used! *smiles* Yeah, she fell off it...

[angelfireeast.livejournal.com]

Great story. Favorite lines “Yeah? A child, am I? That’s convenient, isn’t it? I’m a woman when you bury yourself inside my body and scream out my name when you come. But I’m a child when I want to stand up and take responsibility for letting you? That’s rich, Doctor. You’re a right bastard, you know that?” and “Excessive hand-holding, perhaps?” *giggles*

Please post more soon! I use to think lostwolfchats was the queen of evil cliff hangers but I've learned you are both queens of evil cliff hangers, just in different kingdoms. :p

[amberfocus.livejournal.com]

Oh, know you know, lostwolf and I, back in our pre-LJ days before Teaspoon went so restrictive, used to egg each other on and wind each other up. Practically a competition some days to see who could have the most evil cliffhanger. It was fun...

[sunnytyler001.livejournal.com]

“Excessive hand-holding, perhaps?”
Lol!
But, he'll change his mind... won't he?

[amberfocus.livejournal.com]

*smiles* The Doctor is more afraid of what this means for Rose than anything else. He just doesn't know how to show it right now and she's really thrown him for a loop.

[debs7.livejournal.com]

Ilove how your Rose doesn't just roll over when the Doctor gets stroppy but gives as good as she gets. That is so refreshing.

And now I wait for the next part *wanders to the corner and sits*

[amberfocus.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I like writing fiesty Rose. She's a fighter before just about anything else and I think people sometimes forget that.

[bluevolvic.livejournal.com]

They certainly don't look happy in that banner lol! awww bless ^__^ I'm sure they'll work this out somehow?

I love this already, It's so different from the usual fluffiness of cute babies.Looking forward to reading more.

Hope ideas for your other fics come to you again soon. I've still to catch up on 'Hunger Moon'

[amberfocus.livejournal.com]

When I saw that photo it's what gave me the idea for the story. I thought what on Earth could they be looking so miserable for? Every other photo I've seen with them they've either looked happy or serious, but in this one they look angry. So made it into a banner when the story took flight.

[vickievrt.livejournal.com]

*gaaah*
No, no, no don't leave it there!!!!!!!!!

I want, nay, DEMAND more!
Oh silly Doctor. He's such a stupid man sometimes!
*hugs Rose* It's going to be okay, he'd never EVER leave you!!

[amberfocus.livejournal.com]

Erm...so not fond of the cligghangers, then, are you? *smiles* There will be more.

[wiggiemomsi.livejournal.com]

What a git the Doctor can be! Strong, strong Rose (hope she didn't break, falling down that cliff?)

I'll just sit here quietly in front of my computer, and wait for the next chapter ....

*Is it here yet, is it here yet?*

[amberfocus.livejournal.com]

He can be, but she didn't give him any time to take it in, either. They both needed to slow down and not just react off each other. But then it wouldn't be them, would it?

[dragonmom64.livejournal.com]

Aaah! A literal cliffhanger, I mean cliff-dropper, er, did that make sense?
And I just loved the "They don't make condoms big enough" line! *snort*
Doesn't matter what story or series, I just love what you write...because you make them so real!

[amberfocus.livejournal.com]

I know, over the cliff and down she goes. Glad you liked the condom line. I always like to take a poke at the Doctor's mythical size, even if it's a cliche I like to play with. Thank you. I'm glad you think there's realism in my stories.

[slvrcrystalc.livejournal.com]

*tears in eyes* You write the best angst! In any fandom! Ever!

[amberfocus.livejournal.com]

Aw, now there's tears in my eyes! Thank you.

[maniacalshen.livejournal.com]

That was depressing! Man, the Doctor can't say anything right, can he?

[amberfocus.livejournal.com]

Nope. He's not thinking straight.

[nina-ds.livejournal.com]

Oh, boy, I get to use my "sulk" icon. The universe's champion and one of Earth's leading contenders duke it out.

He's being an ass, but I can see his point, too, about being blindsided. And a cliff-tumble... well, that could go several ways, including "solving" their problem, but that's so depressing, I'm going to ignore that possibility! Looking forward to more on any of these stories, really.

[amberfocus.livejournal.com]

It won't solve the problem. That would be no fun for me. I like to make things more complicated than that. They need to figure out that their in this thing together, but it's not going to be easy.

[prettyradio.livejournal.com]

OMG DONT LEAVE ME IN SUSPENSE OMG!!

[amberfocus.livejournal.com]

But that's what I do best... *grins*

[belladoragirl.livejournal.com]

More, soon?? Please??

[amberfocus.livejournal.com]

*grins* I just posted chapter two.

[absolutbritish.livejournal.com]

Oh this sounds promising... Love it already.

[amberfocus.livejournal.com]

*smiles* Thanks.

[azriona.livejournal.com]

Ah, houseguests gone....can relax with a lovely Nine/Rose story now while I procrastinate....

They don’t make condoms big enough, Rose.

*snickers*

If it were any more positive it would be carrying a charge.

Oh, I definitely like this Rose.

I’m a woman when you bury yourself inside my body and scream out my name when you come. But I’m a child when I want to stand up and take responsibility for letting you?

*stands and cheers*

Interesting that she seems very convinced that the baby is a boy. She never once refers to it as anything but "he" - not even a glimmer of a suggestion it might be a girl, despite Nine's going on about that blonde-haired child he swings around the Tardis console room....oh, wait. That was in your head, not the story. Never mind.

(But still.)

Moving on to next chapter, and then I suspect I'll join the line of "more please"s.

[amberfocus.livejournal.com]

She's a fiesty one, isn't she? *laughs* Gee, I wonder what it all means. No, the little blonde moppet is wanted by the Nine in Moments in Darkness. Not by this Nine.

[bklyangel.livejournal.com]

I was looking through pics of Billie Piper and I noticed that she looked pregnant, I'm not sure if its been confirmed or not (I like in NY) or if you already knew but if she is you could probably use the pics for this fic and your Moon series.