Not Him

[amberfocus]

Title:  Not Him
Author:  amberfocus
Characters/Pairings:  Ten, Rose, Ten2
Genre:  Angst, Drabble
Beta:  thetesh
Rating:  G, All Ages
Summary:  Ten's thoughts while Rose kisses Ten2 on the beach.
A/N:  Yeah, sorry for this.  I'm in a bit of a funk and this is the result.  This does not mean I've forgiven Ten, however.  I still think he was an idiot for his actions.

 

This cold burning pain tears at his soul from between two hearts. They beat; the sounds so wrong as they drum in his chest, too loud, too fast, too hard. It hurts. It makes him think that forever is a lie, forever is just a fairytale, it doesn’t belong to him. It never did. His hands clench into fists at his sides. This was supposed to be his moment, his choice, his love. He can’t help it as he turns and walks away.   She’s made her choice. That man wears his face, but why can’t she see it’s not him?

 

Comments

[wanderingfriend.livejournal.com]

Oh. *sniffs*

That was beautiful. I always feel so badly for him in that scene, even while I am reminding myself that it is pain of his own devising...

Thank you for sharing this.

[amberfocus.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I always have such split emotions there as well. Thanks.

[mkejenkins.livejournal.com]

That is so beautifully painful. Lovely, hon.

[amberfocus.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

[amyo67.livejournal.com]

That is beautiful. And yes, he brought it on himself, but it's still sad.

[amberfocus.livejournal.com]

Exactly. Thank you.

[doctorsdiva.livejournal.com]

*sobs* So beautiful and I forgave him the moment he left Wilf and looked so grief stricken. *sighs*

[amberfocus.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I'm still a bit miffed with him, though I feel bad for him.

[hazelwho.livejournal.com]

Ouch. Beautiful drabble.
*whacks Ten in the back of the head and then hugs him*

[amberfocus.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

[nonlinearmusing.livejournal.com]

*sobs* heartbreaking but beautiful.

[amberfocus.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

[rowofstars.livejournal.com]

Awww. This was gorgeous hun. It does make me want to hug him, but perhaps after I slap him first.

[amberfocus.livejournal.com]

Thanks. Yeah, that's about how I feel about it, too.

[kholly.livejournal.com]

Ouch. That has to be what he was feeling.

[amberfocus.livejournal.com]

I think so.

[salimali.livejournal.com]

oh :( heartbreaking *sniff*

[amberfocus.livejournal.com]

*Hugs*

[muse-0f-fire.livejournal.com]

Oh! *sniff, sob* This is rather what I thought at this point to. 10.5 ISN'T him! I couldn't believe that he'd walk away from her and just let this other person have his Rose. It's isn't right!

This is so very sad. It was supposed to be his love, not that of some part Doctor, part Donna, human hybrid sort of thing. *sniff*

Beautifully done.

[amberfocus.livejournal.com]

I do think that 10.5 is as close to him as one can be, but I'm not sure Ten is as sure of that and of course he wants Rose and feels rejected even though he set this whole thing up. But he does think it was supposed to be his happily ever after that he's walking away from. Least that's how I see it.

[teruel-a-witch.livejournal.com]

Aww *sniff* beautiful and heartbreaking :(
Ten, you are such a git,though, as if you didn't made this choice for her *Hmpf* You clearly need a slap. And a hug. Not necessarily in that order;)

[amberfocus.livejournal.com]

Thanks. He really is. He didn't have to do this (screw what Russell thinks).

[teruel-a-witch.livejournal.com]

There's just so much exteriour reasons that I can't even stay angry at him for long, if the characters could help it they would surely be together, I'm adamant about it, but since BP left, RTD&DT are leaving Vs Moffat taking over Ten2 seems like the best option. Though what RTD could have done is deliver the news in a more gentle way and also give us CLOSURE. And also I WANT a Ten/Rose kiss, real kiss *grumbles*

[amberfocus.livejournal.com]

Even if it's just Ten stumbling into a younger Rose on New Year's Eve at midnight and snogging the socks off her, I'd be happy. Actually that sounds like a good premise for a fic.

[teruel-a-witch.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I thought about it,too, I'd make me soo happy despite of what's to come but I'm afraid to hope really, ok,well, I can't help hoping because that's how I roll but I'm expecting the worst so then when we get whatever we get it won't be as bad as I thought xDD I had a few images about what their meeting could be like and was even considering writing something when news about BP filming came out but as usual I never did xD If you do it it would be terrific,though ;-)
Actually that sounds like a good premise for a fic
Have you seen this brilliant vid? It's based vaguely on a fic with that premise(though changes are too forward, AU-ish)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r7Nd2dlvJqE

[jennyshepard.livejournal.com]

Heartbraking and so true.
He made his decision and for once in his life, he wasn't as clever as usual. I still don't understand why he didn't take her, or both of them, with him.
Totally agree with you A/N, thanks ^^

[amberfocus.livejournal.com]

Thanks. He should have taken them but I think he was too afraid to watch them get old and die and maybe find happiness he wasn't quite a part of.

[momentmusical.livejournal.com]

Poor, poor Doctor. :(

It makes him think that forever is a lie, forever is just a fairytale, it doesn’t belong to him.

I thought this was brilliant, since he's the Time Lord with the regenerations and the power to see all of space and time; and yet at this moment, he feels reduced to feeling this way. Poignantly, wonderfully heartbreaking.

[amberfocus.livejournal.com]

Thank you. He's just in so much pain he makes a stupid choice without thinking it through.

[feerocious.livejournal.com]

This was beautifully written and I could just imagine that this is what's running through his head.

Yeah you know he kinda deserved it, but you can see how painful it is for him and you can't help wanting to hug him(and then slap him).

[amberfocus.livejournal.com]

Thank you. That's exactly how I felt.

[heather916.livejournal.com]

Beautiful. His facial expression in that moment always makes me want to weep, despite knowing it's playing out exactly as he'd intended. Doesn't make it any less painful for him.

[amberfocus.livejournal.com]

Yeah, me, too. Thank you.

[rosewarren.livejournal.com]

Whoa, you are killing me with this! And yet...I still want to kick him in the pants, because he did this to himself. If he had just told Rose he loved her, she would have stayed.

And there is the reason none of us can move beyond post-JE fics. We got what we wanted but we didn't.

[amberfocus.livejournal.com]

Sorry, hon. That and there's just so much rich fic to mine in post JE. It's so like Post Doomsday reunion fic but with an even greater chance of a happy ending.

[achuislemochroi.livejournal.com]

;_;

I still can’t bear it.

[amberfocus.livejournal.com]

Yes, it's hard.

[roselikeschips.livejournal.com]

....I still love Ten. *sniffle*

[amberfocus.livejournal.com]

Oh, I still love him. Just think it was another stupid choice on his part.

[silencing.livejournal.com]

That angst bunny bit you hard...damn. I'm trying to resist the urge to yell at Ten. He's fictional, and you can't help his actions, but I want to kinda yell at him after this, cause it's his own fault. He told Rose it was him....Grawr.

Silly Time Lord

[amberfocus.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it does that on occasion. I like yelling at Ten a lot. He says the opposite of what he's feeling quite a lot.

[crazyboutbillie.livejournal.com]

Heartbreaking little story!
You always feel sorry for him when Rose kisses the other him, but it was his own doing so you also think, well that could have been you!
Love this <3

[amberfocus.livejournal.com]

Thank you. It's all full of conflicted emotions for me.

[helygen.livejournal.com]

Heart = break

[amberfocus.livejournal.com]

Exactly.

[dragonmom64.livejournal.com]

Ummm....news flash for Ten...you pushed her away, again!

That said, you captured his pain perfectly.

[amberfocus.livejournal.com]

He does not always have his own best interests at heart. For a genius, he can be an idiot.