Hunger Moon: Chapter Sixteen

[amberfocus]

Conversations On the Move

 

“It would have been a better view,” muttered the Doctor as he followed Jake through the ventilation shaft.

 

“What?”

 

“Following Rose. It would have been a better view. That’s all. I wouldn’t have been distracted by Rose’s bum.”

 

For the first twenty minutes they’d crawled through the vents the Doctor had ranted back and forth between what Mickey had said and how Davin was far too interested in Rose still. Then he’d fallen silent for about five minutes. Now here he went again and Jake just wanted to tell him to shut it. “Are you still on that?” Jake asked pausing in his forward crawl as he came to a cross shaft and waited for the fans to stop. He looked back at the Doctor. “Because it’s really starting to get old.”

 

“Mickey thinks we wouldn’t have any self-control. I’m over 900 years old. I think I’ve learned a few things about controlling my emotions. He thinks I’m totally fixated on it.”

 

“Because you wouldn’t fixate on anything at all,” said Jake dryly. “Only I think you’ve talked more about it in the last twenty minutes than is healthy.”

 

“It’s just insulting. I’m not that distractible. He must be getting me mixed up with the other me. The second one Rose knew; the one that talked things to death. Mickey’s letting things carry over.”

 

Jake snorted. The fan came to a halt and he started his forward crawl again. Once they were on the other side of the cross shaft the Doctor switched to what was apparently his second favorite topic after not being distracted by Rose’s bum. Jake took in a deep breath and asked silently for patience.

 

“How well do you know Davin?” he asked.

 

“I’ve known him eight years. He’s a good guy,” said Jake.

 

“Yeah, but do you trust him?” the Doctor wanted to know.

 

“Yes, I do. And so does Mickey. And so does Rose, which really ought to be enough for you.”

 

“But he’s in love with her.”

 

“Doesn’t mean he’s not trustworthy. You’re in love with her and Mickey trusts you,” Jake said.

 

“Yeah, but that’s different. I’m—wait a minute. Don’t you trust me? I’m Rose’s hus…fiancé and--.”

 

“A 900 year old alien I just met and he’s a thirty-something human being that I’ve worked with for several years. And yes, I do trust you because Rose does and that’s good enough for me. It ought to be good enough for you that Rose trusts Davin. She’s a good judge of character,” Jake said.

 

“I know that but--.”

 

“Look, Doctor, I can tell you’re jealous of him but it needs to stop. Rose is utterly in love with you.  You and she may be incredibly close, but you haven’t known her that long, maybe it’s not been long enough for you to place an instinctive trust in her yet,” Jake began.

 

“I trust her with my life,” the Doctor protested.

 

“I’m sure you do. Not quite the same thing as trusting her with your heart, though, is it?” Jake asked.

 

“Hearts,” the Doctor corrected absently.

 

Jake paused at the next cross shaft, listening intently for the sound of fans. “She’s not going to betray you with Davin. Now I know she can’t, physically. She told us about that biological quirk. But I don’t think that’s what you’re worried about. I think you’re afraid of how her emotions might still be twisted up around this other man you’re viewing as your rival.”

 

“He’s not my--.”

 

“He is as long as you think he is. And you wouldn’t be acting like this if you didn’t. But he wouldn’t be even if Rose hadn’t so completely given her heart to you already. The thing is, you don’t know what Rose was like with him. Their relationship was not…it wasn’t ideal. Everybody knew that Rose didn’t harbor these intense, life-altering emotions about him, that she just really enjoyed his company and trusted him and had fun with him but nothing more.  Everyone but Davin, really. She stayed with him because she needed someone; she was so badly broken after she lost her first Doctor. Davin helped ground Rose to reality when she was broken and she was grateful to him for it, even loved him I think, but she never fell in love with him. And she never would have.”

 

Jake sighed. “To be honest, if you hadn’t shown up, I don’t think I’d ever have seen her true smile again, the one I saw when I first met her, when she was still with him. And even that smile, Doctor, was never as intense as it is now. I didn’t think it was possible for her to love anyone more than she loved him, but with you…she does. And I’m not dismissing her first love for him, because I saw how strong it was. It burned brightly. They were special. But you and Rose are amazing. Together your love blinds. And she doesn’t want anything else. She may not have said it in words, but it’s obvious to anyone with eyes, except you apparently.”

 

“And Davin.”

 

The fan ground down to a halt and Jake shuffled forwards. “Get over this thing with Davin, Doctor. It’s not worth the time you’ll spend on it and it’ll just make Rose think you don’t believe in her. And it’s beyond not necessary. She’s never loved anyone like you. She never will. We’re almost there. Now shut it,” Jake said having finally lost his patience. The Doctor settled into silence behind him and they continued on, the faint sound of alarm bells tinkling in the distance as Mickey triggered the sprinkler system.

 

 

 

“You’re sure?” asked Davin.

 

“About what?” Rose wanted to know. They were speaking on the private band of the subvocal equipment at his request. Rose shone her flashlight up at the junction marker above their heads and read the letter there. T. “We turn here,” she said.

 

“About you and this Doctor bloke.”

 

Rose turned to look at him. “I thought we’d sorted this.”

 

“We did. It’s just…how do you fall in love with someone so quickly? You haven’t spent enough time with him to possibly know him and honestly, Rose, he’s not exactly you’re type,” Davin said.

 

Rose stopped walking and looked at him. “He is, though,” she said softly.

 

“He’s funny-looking, Rose. All ears and nose and teeth and awkward limbs.”

 

“I think he’s beautiful,” she replied honestly. “He may not be classically handsome like you, not the standard heartthrob of human norms, but to me he’s utterly gorgeous. Especially when he smiles.”

 

“And what about me?”

 

“I was never attracted to you because of your looks. I mean, I saw them, but they were nothing to me.” It was only a little lie. She didn’t need to tell him that his finest features had belonged to one or the other of her two Doctor’s physical forms. “I liked who you were as a person, I trusted you, and you were fun.”

 

“But you like him better,” Davin said flatly.

 

“Yes. I’m sorry, but yes.”

 

“Would you really have spent your life with me if he hadn’t found you?” Davin asked. “Or were you just saying that?”

 

“I would have. I did care for you a lot.  I still do.”

 

“But you didn’t love me,” he said.

 

“That’s not true. I do have love for you, it’s just not…it isn’t romantic love,” Rose said.

 

“So why’d you ever sleep with me then?” he asked.

 

“You wore me down and I was…I hadn’t had a lover in years. I wanted…I wanted sex and you wanted sex and like I said, I trusted you. I hadn’t planned on letting it go on, but you were--.”

 

“Convenient?” he asked.

 

She glared at him. “Considerate. Tender. Kind. And you were a good lover. It was good sex. And I thought…I thought there’d never be another great love in my life so--.”

 

“You might as well settle with me?” he interrupted again.

 

“I could have done worse,” she said. “You were my friend and a good man and I wanted a family some day. We were compatible and…you never turned me away. You knew from the start, Davin, you knew that I was in love with another man…”

 

“But you were so much better these last few years. I thought you were over him.”

 

“I thought I was, too,” she said. “But I’m not.”

 

“And how am I supposed to give you up?”

 

“It’s not your choice, Davin. You know that. And anyway, even if I wanted to be with you again, I couldn’t. You know how I reacted when you kissed me? How I ran off and got sick?” she asked him.

 

“Yeah? Thought you were ill or something,” Davin said.

 

“I’m not. It’s a biological reaction. Once a Gallifreyan bonds to his mate, there’s a biological change that takes place within the pairing that alters their DNA a bit. Makes it impossible to be unfaithful without the person becoming ill. Kissing you made me react violently. Sleeping with you would be even worse. I’d get shakes, fever, more vomiting, and rashes.”

 

“So you can’t cheat on him, really. You can’t leave him.”

 

“I don’t want to leave him,” Rose said.

 

“What about him?”

 

“He doesn’t want to leave me either,” said Rose.

 

“I meant, does he get the lovely side effects, too or is this just the female end of things?” Davin asked.

 

“It works both ways. Neither one of us could be unfaithful if we wanted to. But we don’t. And I don’t. There is no chance I’ll come back to you. And it’s not because of this. I see that look on your face. You want to think it’s because of this, but it’s wrong to think it. I’d feel it without the changes. I love him, Davin. He means everything to me,” Rose said.

 

“I know,” he said quietly. “I’m not completely blind.” He sighed reluctantly. “So, no chance at all?”

 

“No. I’m sorry, but no. Please don’t push this anymore, Davin. I want to stay friends with you because you are an important person in my life and cutting you out of it would be like cutting out Mickey. But it can never be what it was. It just can’t. I love the Doctor. I will always love the Doctor.”

 

“Okay,” he said heavily. “Can’t guarantee it’ll be easy for me to be around you, Rose. I know what I said earlier, that I was working on getting used to being without you. But it was easier when you weren’t actually here and I didn’t have to see you.”

 

“Well, we won’t be here for too long. We’ll rescue my dad, wipe up this mess with the Monoc’teru, and finish up what we came to Earth to do in the first place and then we’ll leave again. That should make it easier for you. We won’t be back until the month of the wedding.”

 

Davin made no reply to that, instead shining his flashlight up at the next junction marker. “There’s S,” he said. “Almost there.”

 

They walked along in silence until they reached junction marker R. “You’re happy, though?”

 

Rose looked at him for a moment and then a grin washed over her face. “Yeah,” she said and her eyes lit up.

 

“That’s all that really matters to me, Rose.” Impulsively she hugged him and just as quickly let him go again when his arms tightened a little too much. He didn’t try to keep her in the hug as she pulled away, though. She felt so bad for him, but he would have to figure out a way to get used to the fact that she had moved on.

 

“Thank you.” The sound of the alarm system echoed through the corridors and they hugged the walls as the water began to cascade down from the ceiling. The maintenance tunnels were as flammable as the rest of the building and so of course they were as soaked as they’d be anywhere but the ventilation shafts in a matter of seconds.

 

Rose set her watch and the pair of them waited, counting down the minutes until it’d be safe to emerge into Torchwood proper. She pulled the door open and emerged into the empty hallway just as a guard rounded the corner. “Well, look what we have here.”

 

The guard leveled a gun on Rose. “And just what are you doing down here during a full evacuation of the Torchwood facility?”

 

“I have clearance,” Rose said. “My ID’s just in my back pocket.”

 

The guard came closer motioning with the gun for her to pull it out. She stepped to one side turning her body sideways and the guard turned with her. She backed away from the door a bit more and held out her ID. As the guard reached out to take it Davin pulled the door open and neatly knocked the guard on the back of his head with the butt of his gun. The guard crumbled to the floor.

 

“You didn’t have to hurt him,” Rose protested.  “He was only doing his job.”

 

“Didn’t you see him shimmer, Rose?” He motioned to the man. “Look, he’s doing it now. He’s an alien.” Rose saw the oscillation of light around the unconscious guard and swallowed hard. She had to get her mind back on the job at hand. Mickey had been worried the Doctor would distract her, but Davin’s need to discover if there was still any chance for them had distracted her far worse.

 

“Come on,” she said. “Let’s go find my dad.”

 

They made their way cautiously down the remainder of the small hallway and Davin carefully poked his head around the corner. “It’s clear,” he said. Rose followed him around the corner and they were soon standing outside the room that led into the room Pete was supposed to be held hostage within. Davin slid his Torchwood keycard into the lock and the door opened with a soft click. He eased it open still further, his gun entering the room before he did.

 

Rose waited for Davin to scan the room and signaled her to enter. She followed him on silent feet, her own eyes sweeping the room. It was full of odd bits of medical equipment, a wheelchair, a gurney and several test tubes. Rose had a desperate thought of Pete lying on an exam table being experimented on and shuddered.

 

Davin indicated the recessed door across the room and they wove their way towards it. This door was not locked but there was a camera above it. Rose hoped that Mickey had gotten the security system blinded but if he hadn’t it was too late to hope they hadn’t been seen. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a little spray bottle that looked like body spray but was actually filled with black aerosol paint. She sprayed it over the camera lens and then reached for the door. It flew open and she was confronted with a Monoc’teru in his true physical form.  She was terrified.

Ch. 17:  http://amberfocus.livejournal.com/91479.html 

Comments

[angelfireeast.livejournal.com]

Great update! Oh the huffy Doctor whinning and ranting about Rose's lovers - no he's not obsessive at all!:p And Poor Rose, that must be hard to tell someone you are not in love with them and there no chance - it's take my mind off of things for sure.

[amberfocus.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it is hard for her, but she knows she has to do it. The Doctor is a bit messed up because he can't feel their link with her blocks in place, so he's fixated a bit.