amberfocus | That Which One Cannot Be Without (9/9)--Complete

Title:  That Which One Cannot Be Without (9/9)
Author: Amberfocus
Characters/Pairings: Nine/Rose, Jack
Genre: Romance, angst, hurt/comfort, fluff, smut (eventually)
Betas: Amyo67, JeopardyFriendly
Rating: Adult
Warnings: In this story Rose will be having flashbacks to a violent incident where she was beaten by a prison guard and hurt by another man. This is not rape fic and will not touch on that issue at all. I will keep the explicitness to a minimum, but I know this sort of thing can trigger memories in the victims of violence so wanted to post fair warning.
Summary: Rose has lost her equilibrium after a terrible experience and being back on a similar planet is not helping. The Doctor isn't quite sure what to do to rebuild her spirit, but he has to try because losing her is not an option. Neither is letting her go home.
Author's Notes: This fic was written for Wiggiemomsi who won me and 15,000 words in the Support Stacie Auction.
Ch. 1: http://amberfocus.livejournal.com/240768.html
Ch. 2:  http://amberfocus.livejournal.com/241908.html
Ch. 3   http://amberfocus.livejournal.com/242739.html
Ch. 4: http://amberfocus.livejournal.com/242950.html
Ch. 5: http://amberfocus.livejournal.com/244016.html
Ch. 6:  http://amberfocus.livejournal.com/244402.html
Ch. 7: http://amberfocus.livejournal.com/245163.html
Ch. 8: http://amberfocus.livejournal.com/246078.html

Additional Author's Notes: This chapter earns the fic an NC-17 rating for explicit sex. You've been warned.

Chapter Nine: Completion

The kiss seemed to take the Doctor off guard for just one moment and it made Rose smile that she had the power to do that to him. He caught his equilibrium soon enough and gently pushed his tongue into her mouth, his hand running down the side of her body and then back up to cup her breast. It was the first time he’d done that and her stomach did a little flutter before settling into a slowly growing warmth.

His hand on her breast began to knead gently but firmly as he kissed her, from time to time leaving it to slide down to her hip and then slowly back up again over the gauzy material of her nightgown. She slid her hand onto his back and caressed in little circles making her way down to his bum. She realized that the Doctor was completely naked under the covers as her fingers moved over the tight muscles and down to his upper thigh, then back to rest on his bum again.

She couldn’t count the number to times she’d wanted to just reach out and squeeze his arse. Usually it was clad in well-fitted denim and bent over the console and even if it had been allowed by their relationship before now, it would have been an entirely inappropriate time to do it. His piloting skills were bad enough without her doing something like that to distract him no matter how tempted she’d been, so of course she’d just sat in the jump seat and fantasized about it. The muscle rippled under her hand as he moved closer and she squeezed, eliciting a soft noise of approval from the Doctor.

He found her nipple through the soft material then, his thumb using the gentlest of movements as he circled it, bringing it to a peak beneath the floaty fabric. His lips moved away from hers and down the side of her jaw to her throat. Softly and tenderly he kissed along her scar before sliding several inches away and tasting the skin there, his tongue working in long slow circles, his teeth scraping against the little throbbing pulse. Her body was setting up a rather delicious ache as her desire for him grew.

He trailed kisses down from her neck, pushing aside fabric to run his tongue along her clavicle. His lips whispered across her skin, promising her things in a language that was ancient and dead as they ghosted over the rise of her breast and the soft teal still encasing it. He mouthed her nipple through the fabric and Rose groaned as he sucked it deeply into his mouth.

The Doctor’s hand slid down to her thigh and slowly began making its way up under the gown. He paused. “No knickers?” he asked. His eyes gleamed.

“Could say the same for you.” Impatiently she brought her hand to his head and pushed him lightly back down to her breast. “Don’t stop.” He sucked the tip back into his mouth as his hand slipped from her hip to her stomach and up to join his mouth in its attentions. He was extraordinarily good at this. That was only fitting considering he’d had nine hundred years to practice.

His hands were slowly pushing the gown up her body and when it reached the bottom of her breasts she lifted up enough for him to remove it. He stared at her for so long she felt an overwhelming urge to cover herself, Triven’s words about her body being worthless and useless and not attractive to even the guards in the prison coming back to haunt her. “Doctor?” She blinked back tears and reached for the sheet. “You’re disappointed.”

“No!” He snatched the sheet out of her hand, startling her. “I never could be. Not in you.”

“But you stopped.”

“Sorry, I…I just have imagined this moment so many times. And my imagination, incredible as it is, does no justice to the real thing. You’re beautiful, Rose. I just wanted to memorize every curve of your body, the contours of your muscles under skin, the way you move as you breathe. One day you’ll leave me and…and the memories will be all I have and this…this I must remember for the next thousand years.” Her knees would have gone weak if she’d been standing at the intensity of emotion on his face as he spoke his words.

“I won’t leave you. I don’t want to leave you. Not while I draw breath,” she said fiercely.

His lips fell to her body then as he laid a kiss between her breasts and slowly worked his way down across her stomach and back up again to the breast he’d not yet paid any attention to. There was greater urgency in his actions and by the time he had finished with it she was writhing beside him. He was going to ruin her for any other man and she didn’t even care. There would never be another man if she could have him.

He dragged his lips down her arm and when he found the inside bend of her elbow was extremely sensitive, he spent an inordinate amount of time licking and sucking and making her go crazy with want for him and he still hadn’t even touched her where she wanted him most. She knew she should be reciprocating, but honestly, his touch was making it nearly impossible to think let alone do anything but absorb the way he was making her body sing.

When he finally abandoned her elbow he moved down to her hand and ever so slowly licked the pad of her thumb before sucking it into his mouth, circling his tongue tightly around the digit. As he did so a nearly overwhelming desire to go down on him hit her in a sharp wave and when he released her from his mouth she pushed away from him, her hands firmly nudging his shoulders down onto the mattress.

Rose pulled the blankets off his body and it was her turn to stare. She moved to the foot of the bed and drank him in. His legs were strong, his calves and thighs well muscled from running, the lean muscles rippling as he made a space for her to sit between them. She ran her hands from his ankles up across his hairy legs, then gently across the soft inner skin of his thighs before settling herself comfortably between them.

She picked up his penis and he jerked in her hand. She looked at him closely. Other than the fact that he didn’t have a foreskin and appeared to never have had one or a circumcision scar and that his testicles were tucked up close to his body and not dangling loosely, he looked completely human. She didn’t know what she’d been expecting, hadn’t really thought about it that much, she just had assumed if the Doctor said they could make love, they could. The mechanics hadn’t come into it.

She let out a breath she hadn’t even realized she’d been holding. He could have had tentacles for all she knew, or more than one penis, or been far too large or too small to be able to have sex with her at all. He could have been completely incompatible with her. Instead he was just six or seven inches long and a decent but not impossible girth around… “You’re normal,” she said.

“What were you expecting?”

“Don’t know. You’re alien. You could have had barbs or been purple or sparkly.”

“I knew I shouldn’t have let you shop in the alien romance section of that book store on Hornicus Seven,” he muttered. “Or was it Waterstone’s Jupiter in 2157? Gave you all sorts of silly ideas. I’m humanoid. The design is basically the same the universe over,” he told her. “That’s why you humans can successfully shag anything, pretty much. Honestly, Rose, purple or sparkly? There is no humanoid life form that isn’t made of silicon or diamond that is sparkly despite the popular fiction of your time. Did you really—?”

She took him into her mouth then, only partially to shut him up, and his words broke off with a strangled sound, his head thunking back hard into the pillow and his eyes going shut as the higher processing centers of his brain abruptly shut down. She giggled around his shaft and he hissed at the way it made her mouth move. Grinning she closed it all the way around him and began to hum. His hands found their way to her hair and rested lightly against her head.

Rose slid him in and out of her mouth slowly, getting the feel of him right, using her tongue heavily along the underside as she pulled back, swirling about the tip, and then taking him back in as far as she could. She could almost, but not quite, take him all the way in comfortably. She varied her pressure and suction, returning to what made him react the most pleasurably. He was a bit fonder of her teeth scraping against him than she thought any man ought to be, but then again, despite his words he was an alien and maybe his nerve endings were less sensitive. That could do wonders for his stamina. Not that she thought a nine-hundred-year-old alien was going to be quick on the draw, not with that kind of lifetime experience.

Her mouth popped off him and she circled her tongue around the base of his shaft, paying careful and deliberate attention to the part that would not fit well into her mouth. He groaned as she let him go but sighed as she continued her work. She kissed her way up the side of his penis, wiggled her tongue into the tip, and kissed her way back down again before rising up and swallowing him down once more. She pulled lightly at his soft, curling hair and he bucked upwards into her mouth with a surprised hiss.

Rose quit playing with him and got down to the serious business of driving the Doctor to distraction. She eased off him again and scraped a fingernail lightly across his balls and was rewarded with him practically leaping off the bed. “Rose,” he growled.

“Yes, Doctor?” she asked innocently, but before he could answer she gently took one of his balls into her mouth and rolled it around. His thighs tensed against her and she could tell that all of his focus had gone into what she was doing to him. She eased it out again and sucked in the other one, giving it the same treatment before letting go and swallowing him down again, her tongue twisting in little curlicues around him before she relaxed the back of her throat and sank over him to the root. She had to focus hard on controlling her gag reflex and could only do that a few times but the sounds he made in response were worth the effort.

Her sex flooded with want as he groaned. Moving back on him a bit she began intensive suction and his fingers tightened in her hair, pulling it. It didn’t quite hurt exactly, but it did tell her he was starting to lose control. He began to thrust upwards against her mouth and she knew he was getting close to coming.

“Rose, I can’t, I’m…Rose.” Rose made a quick decision and increased her suction further moving up and down on him rapidly. “Rose, stop, I can’t stop…and—and you have to—.” He groaned again. “Don’t stop.” And she didn’t. She gripped his thighs tightly with her arms and when he came into her mouth while shouting out her name she swallowed down everything he offered.

She pulled away from him and gave him her cheekiest grin as he looked up at her with eyes so dark they were nearly black. She climbed up his body and tucked herself into his side, her head resting in the crook of his shoulder. “Rose Tyler, I never knew you could do such delightful things with your mouth,” he told her when he’d recovered the power of speech, which took him significantly longer than she’d expected.

“Mmm hmm,” she mumbled.

“Unfortunately you seem to have put me at a disadvantage,” he said glancing down his body at his flaccid state.

“Oh, I’m sure there are things we can do to get you going again,” she said.

He gave her a very solemn look and shook his head no. “Time Lord, me. I’m afraid that our recovery period is a bit different than humans.”

“What do you mean, different?” she asked. “An hour? A couple? What?”

“I’m really sorry about this, Rose, but…”

“How long?” she demanded.

“A week.”

“A week? Bloody hell, Doctor, you could have said!” she exclaimed sitting up and glaring down at him before she realized that his eyes were twinkling and his lips were curving up in a mischievous smile. “Oh, you are so getting a smack.” He caught her hand as it aimed for his shoulder.

“Haven’t done this in, oh, half a century. And I am nine hundred. Not quite sure how long it’ll be. Half an hour, maybe.”

“Guess we’ll just have to find a way to fill the time,” Rose said.

“Guess so.” He sat up. “Lay down,” he said as he pushed her onto her back. He nudged her legs apart with his knee and made a place for himself. “I’ve got a few ideas on how to do just that.” He pushed her thighs further apart and with very gentle fingers he spread her folds. Just a light touch to her clitoris had her squealing.

“Well,” he said.

“Sorry,” she murmured. “Sometimes I get overly sensitive when I haven’t been touched like that for a while.”

He grinned at her and did it again, eliciting the same response from her. It took a couple of tries before he could touch her without her trying to rocket off the bed. He was almost disappointed when she stopped as he’d rather been enjoying her reaction. His actions had brought the little bundle of nerves out of its hood and he reached out tentatively with his tongue. Rose groaned as he made contact.

He made tiny little flicks with his tongue, darting from the tip, to the outer edges and back again, before looping the entire circumference and moving back to the tip again to start all over again. She wondered if he was doing the alphabet at all, but usually that was something she could figure out and follow along with the letters. Of course if he was doing his own language, which was as circular as his movements, she’d never decipher it. After a minute she forgot entirely that there even was such a thing as an alphabet, in English or any other language.

He focused exclusively there for a good five minutes before allowing himself to move his tongue down to her opening and taste her, his nose continuing to nudge against her clit. If anyone ever dared to criticize that wonderful nose of his again in her presence she’d be sure to come to its defense. He pushed inside her, thrusting gently and easily as far as he could reach. Rose shuddered. All she could think was that she hoped he was getting as aroused by this as she was because she didn’t know how long she was going to last against the glorious sensations he was raising within her.

He pulled back and gently sucked one of her folds into his mouth, before running his tongue up the inside and back to focus on her clit again. One finger slid inside her. She was slick with want and there was no obstacle to his penetration. She moaned. She wondered if she ought to be embarrassed at how quickly he’d taken her right up to the edge. She’d gone down on him a good twenty minutes and here she was less than ten minutes in and oh—oh—. She closed her eyes and flashed over into orgasm.

It was one of the really good ones, too. Not one of those halfway ones that seemed like it was going strong and then just sort of fizzled after a few contractions and sort of left her feeling cheated. No this was the kind that took her entire body over and clenched down hard with every muscle she had. It was violent in its intensity and made her stiffen and point her toes, her fingers clenching into fists, her eyes unable to remain open.

When she finally came down and opened her eyes she said, “Wheeeee,” with a loopy grin and the Doctor laughed. He removed his finger and put it into his mouth, licking it off. He crawled off her and settled beside her.

“That have any effect on you?” she asked.

“I think you may have broken my finger but it was worth it,” he said.

“I meant on…junior.”

“Junior?”

“The little Doctor,” she said pointedly.

“Huh?”

“Your penis, Doctor,” she said exasperated. Apparently Time Lords only used euphemisms when they felt like it. “Did what you just did to me have any effect on your penis?”

“Oh,” he said, then grinned to show her he’d been perfectly well aware of what she’d meant. “Things are looking…up.”

Rose smirked. “That’s good. But I’m not sure I can bend my knees just yet.”

“How do you want to, when you can?” he asked her.

“Oh,” she said. “Hadn’t thought about it.”

“Thought you might want to be on top, have the control,” he said.

“Maybe next time.” At his surprised look she told him seriously, “Doctor, you’re the one person I feel safe giving control up to. And anyway, after that orgasm, I’m not sure I can support myself.” The Doctor smirked at her. “You think you’re so impressive,” she told him.

“I am so impressive!” he said mock-offended like he usually was at their customary exchange.

“Yeah, have to admit…you are.” She leaned forward and kissed him on the nose and then he captured her mouth and kissed her far more seriously. By the time he released her, her body was able to move easily again and he was at full mast.

Rose quickly rolled a condom onto him and then lay back. Despite everything that they had already done a sudden burst of nerves assailed her. The Doctor gently pushed her legs apart and settled himself between them, the head of his penis resting just against her opening. “I want you to know, Rose…you need to know this, that I don’t think I would have made it after the Time War if I hadn’t met you. You have made my life worth living again. You are so important to me. The most important thing. And I don’t know what I’d ever do if I lost you.”

Her nerves completely dissolved at his speech and she felt tears come into her eyes. “I’m not going anywhere, Doctor,” she reassured him. He slid into her in one slow, gentle thrust. He held still for a moment, eyes closed, barely breathing as he gave her time to adjust to him, her beautiful Doctor, being inside her.

“You all right?” he asked her.

“Yeah. You?” she wanted to know.

“Yeah.” He pulled back before thrusting forward again in an even glide. His motion was slow and controlled and easy and so perfectly right. Rose angled her hips upwards a bit more so that he was putting pressure on just the right place inside her and brought her legs around him, her feet resting on the backs of his thighs. She pulled him down and wrapped her arms around his body so that his chest was up against hers and he had to encircle her with his arms. If she could have figured out a way to get any closer she would have.

The Doctor rocked into her, his movements steady and strong and she hadn’t been wrong about his stamina once he got going. His lips found hers again and his tongue stroked into her mouth, matching the rhythm of their lovemaking. She was surprised to feel the start of another orgasm beginning to coil within her. She’d never had that happen before, but the wave of sensations beginning to focus on her womb told her that there was a serious chance of it happening today.

She whimpered and the Doctor’s sounds of pleasure joined hers. She raised her legs even higher, locking them about his hips and now he was managing to scrape across her clitoris and her g-spot with every thrust. The coil wound tighter and if she had thought the last orgasm was a doozy, she had a feeling it would have nothing on this one when it arrived. The Doctor’s thrusts began to increase in speed, though marginally because of the position she held him in.

He broke the kiss and his mouth fastened on the join of her neck to her shoulder, his teeth grazing the pulse before he settled down to suck hard. The sensation of tongue and teeth against skin was enough to send her hurtling over the edge. She was senseless as wave after wave of bliss crashed through her body and she cried out, though nothing coherent enough to be his name was clear through the strangled sounds she made, and her fingernails dug in to the skin of his back.

She relaxed her death grip on him as the orgasm left her, her arms falling to the sides and her legs loosening. The Doctor supported his weight on his hands again and then began to move with the speed that had been denied him. He did not race for the finish line, but no longer was he moving at what might be considered a gentle pace. His eyes met hers and he held onto them as he plunged into her body over and over again.

Rose made little sounds of encouragement, spurring him on. Her hands ran up and down his arms, across his chest, tweaking his nipples and playing over his stomach. His face focused completely on one goal, on achieving what he wanted from this union between them. His eyes shut suddenly and with a desperate heave forward he sank even more deeply inside her than he had been. She felt him shake and shudder and grunt as he came hard within her, jerking several times as he emptied himself.

He collapsed a moment later, his body heavy against her before rolling off and tending to the condom. He pulled Rose back into his arms and rolled so that she was lying mostly on top of him. He kissed her hair and then plopped his head back hard onto the pillow.

“That was amazing,” he told her.

“It really was.”

“You know that day, the day after we first met, when I told you to forget me?” the Doctor asked her once he’d calmed his hearts to normal speed again.

“Yeah. Right after the whole turn of the Earth spiel,” she said.

“Well, I’m glad you didn’t forget me,” he told her.

“As if I could after that speech. I think you pretty much ensured that I wouldn’t.”

He smiled. “Maybe that was my plan,” he told her, his arms tightening around her. “Maybe I knew you could save me.”

“Every day, you and I, I think we save each other,” she told him.

“Not a bad old life?” he asked.

“Better with two,” she grinned in remembrance.

“My plus one.”

“As long as you want me to be,” she told him.

“How’s forever sound?”

She bit her tongue on the word impossible, because she knew that his forever and hers could never be the same amount of time. And that was okay for her, but for him... She smiled at him brightly and pushed back any other thought. She’d give him the forever that she did have and it would have to be enough. “Perfect,” she said. And for that moment, that one small perfect moment, it was.