amberfocus | A Question of Innocence (1/1)--A Birthday Fic for Ramblinsuze

Title: A Question of Innocence
Author: amberfocus
Characters/Pairings: Nine/Rose
Genre: Romance, vaguely smutty at the end
Rating: PG-13
Beta: amyo67
Summary: The journey from innocence to much more than that for the Ninth Doctor and Rose.
A/N: Written as a birthday fic for Ramblinsuze. Happy Birthday, even if I'm a day late in posting it.

A Question of Innocence

It starts out innocently enough. He holds her hand and kisses her forehead. He offers her hugs and she takes them greedily. She didn’t get this from a man growing up and she craves it, this affection. She likes to make him happy, likes to make him think he made a good choice bringing her along with him. She feels smart around him and he rewards her with that goofy smile when she does something clever and it all seems like a piece of her life that’s been missing for nineteen years is finally not so empty. He doesn’t fill that hole exactly; she doesn’t think of him as a father figure because he’s not. But she likes making him proud of her and when she disappoints him and he gets that look on his face it hurts. So she does anything she can think of to erase it. That’s why she starts flirting. It surprises her and it makes her think of him just a little bit differently, but she doesn’t really mean it and she knows he doesn’t take it seriously.

It starts out innocently enough. She’s teasing him like any very young woman who hasn’t quite discovered the extent of her sexual power. She plays with it without realizing just how potent a force it is she commands. She flirts, sometimes hard, sometimes lightly and he lets her get away with it because it’s charming and sweet and he enjoys it. He knows she’s only testing it out on him, that she’s not really interested in some battered old man who looks old enough to be her father, is old enough to be back generations in her family tree if he was related, and in the end isn’t even the same species. Rose Tyler may be an open-minded sort of girl, but he doesn’t think she wants a daft-faced old alien in her bed. He flirts back a bit just because he thinks it’s fun, but he doesn’t take it seriously.

She’s pretty sure it’s innocent. She isn’t sure where this need not to let go of him is coming from. Maybe it’s one adventure too many that’s left her close to death. Maybe it’s realizing her own mortality that makes her want to stop wasting time. She doesn’t know what any of it means, she just knows that she can get through anything, anything at all, with him beside her. Whether that’s monsters and evil dictators or a marathon of East Enders, it doesn’t matter. He is her touchstone, her constant. He shifts from being the man she seeks approval from and becomes the man who is closest to her heart. She doesn’t think she’s in love in with him, but she knows she’s not in love with Mickey anymore and she knows it’s because of him. He’s the dearest friend she could ever hope to have and she thinks nothing of draping herself all over him. She likes it when he lets her in, cuddles her close, and treats her like she’s precious to him.

He’s pretty sure it’s innocent. He doesn’t know when the hugs she gives him started lasting at least a minute. One day it was business as usual and the next she’s not leaving his arms after a few seconds and he’s not pushing her away. Hugs he’d given to comfort her, make her feel like she belonged somewhere, that she is special, now offer comfort to him. Fingers now thread together when before hands were simply held, just not that close. She hugs his arm to her body and he tries not to think about the softness of her breast pressing into the back of his arm. They spend more of their downtime together and more than once she falls asleep on him, the couch at her back and her head against his shoulder or against his thigh. Sometimes she’ll drape his arm around her and cuddle him close. He almost doesn’t breathe for fear of waking her. He is becoming far too dependent on this frail human child. He doesn’t know when she became the most precious thing in his universe.

It’s not completely innocent. It’s after picking up Adam that she realizes what she’s got, what she’s risking losing with the Doctor. There’s no comparison between the boy that she thought might be worth something and the man that she knows is worth everything. She’s happy enough to dump the boy off and to find it’s just the two of them again. She thinks maybe she’ll have to scramble a bit, do some damage control, but it’s him who’s suddenly trying to please her. She’s confused because she knows she was in the wrong, inviting someone into the little circle that is the Doctor and Rose, only the Doctor and Rose. He’s acting like it is a wake-up call and not an intrusion. She knows it’s certainly woken her up. Whatever this thing is that’s growing between them, there’s going to have to be a damn fine reason before she threatens it again. Her flirting becomes less tentative, more directed and he’s starting to flirt back just a little more seriously.

It’s not completely innocent. He knows that now that he’s watched her eyes stray to someone else, someone he’s grateful she found lacking. He’s not about to let that happen again and so he sets out to make sure that Rose doesn’t even have time to look in the direction of another man. He makes sure she knows it’s no longer just his ship, his rules, but their home and their choices made together. He’s not ready to admit just why he’s doing that, just why he wants her eyes focused on him and him alone, but they are now and he has every intention of keeping them that way. He wants to give her no reason to invite anyone into their private little world again, the Doctor plus one, not the Doctor plus those two over there. He isn’t having that. His thoughts are turning possessive and he’s far too jealous if she shows any attention to any male of any species when it takes that time from him. Whatever he’s feeling for her it’s starting to intensify and he can’t stop himself from flirting harder with her than he ever used to do and with more serious intent.

Innocent is not a word that occurs to Rose as she asks the Doctor if he dances. Her intention is simply to find out if the man feels more than a mild attraction to her, if his flirting means anything, if there’s ever any chance of carrying through. She knows if there is, it is now when he’s been directing dark looks at Captain Jack, and bristling at the other man showing an interest in her that is less than chaste. He seems offended at her assumption that he’s not a normal man with feelings like desire and want and need. Still, she’s unsure if he can feel those emotions for her, if there will ever be anything more between them than strong affection and the deepest friendship she has ever known. She’s trying to stop herself from falling in love with him. That night when he pulls her away from Jack, shoots him an Oncoming Storm glare that says clearly to the younger man that she is not as available as he might think, and feels for the first time a physical manifestation of the Doctor’s desire, she knows it’s okay to fall.

The last word that crosses the Doctor’s mind is innocent as Rose Tyler makes her wobbly advances, demanding to know if he is like any other man, if he does, indeed dance. His pride is stung awake, the possibility that this time if he loses her attention to another man it’s going to be one with potential, one who will stay around, makes him declare that he has, in fact, danced at times in his life. He knows she is seeking to discover if he’ll dance with her, if there’s ever a chance that their relationship will move past the safe little point it’s evolved to. He knows it’s now or never, that her attention will definitely shift if he doesn’t indicate his interest in the far too young blonde he adores. He wants to warn her that she plays with fire, that if this thing between them ever becomes more he will burn through her heart in ways that there will never be any coming back from. He holds her to him in a dance that is less than what she wants, but is enough to keep her attention firmly on him. He searches for the courage to let her know he’s already fallen.

There is nothing innocent in the way he looks at her as she approaches him in the soft, white gown. The diaphanous fabric swirls about her body, drifting sensually as she comes within arms length and stops. He reaches for her, pulls her that last little distance towards him and into his arms and she comes willingly. His hands drift over her back and there is no longer any pretense between them that they are only friends. His mouth finds hers in a kiss that is exploratory and gentle and makes her think she wants to disappear inside his darkness. Pleasure tingles through her nerve endings as her body responds to the movements of his tongue, the pressure of his body firm and strong against her own. When he releases her it is only long enough for her to step back and let the gown fall from her shoulders and slither down her body to the floor. He swallows hard and she smiles.

There is nothing innocent in the way she looks at him as she allows the floaty, white dress to fall from her shoulders and pool in a puddle at her feet before she steps clear of it. She is naked beneath, lush curves now fully on display to his lingering gaze. Her eyes are dancing in delight as he peruses her body. There is no longer any pretending between them, nothing left to indicate that all they are is friends. She reaches for his clothing, helps him be rid of it and her eyes darken with desire. He leads her to the bed and no words are spoken between them. And although it hasn’t always been about this, it seems now as if it has been inevitable from the very start. Innocence has been completely lost and as he buries himself in her body, he doesn’t care. There is no loss in its leaving.