In Which I Whine about Writing...or Not Writing

[amberfocus]

Sometimes I wonder why I write when 80% of the time it just makes my crazy. I mean, I love it, I do, but I have times where I just want to throw the computer against a wall or the characters or both. I often think it takes a special kind of madness to be a writer, or rather, a writer of fiction.

It is actually easier for me to pound out non-fiction most days. And it's clearly well received as my finance blog has close to 7.5 million views. But that is not my love. Why is it so hard sometimes to write what I love as opposed to writing what I know?

I'm kind of stuck on the epic fantasy story. My problem is that it's a trilogy and I just want to write book #3. I don't know, maybe I'll just have to write it backwards. Meanwhile, I've shelved it while two characters are warring it out. Instead I'm thinking through another story that's just a traditional romance story that may or may not be very trope-y, and wants to be a series. I can't seem to pin down my focus, though, which is so frustrating.

So then I go and look at my unfinished fanfiction and wonder if I can take a stab at a new chapter on one of those, but I just don't feel it anymore. I lost my joy in Doctor Who with the 12th Doctor and quit watching after his first season. I still want to finish those stories, but motivation is just not there. Ugh.

I'm just so scattered. It's like knitting. I have all these things I want to make, but I keep missing a stitch and then have to unravel rows to fix it. That's how I feel it would be if I leap ahead and write the third book first, like I'll end up having to unravel a big mess if I do it that way.

I can't stop watching the news, either. Maybe things will settle down after this weekend. Just hoping the world doesn't go boom. Then maybe I can focus again and stop feeling so stuck.

Comments

[betawho.livejournal.com]

Oh do I know the feeling! All of that, including the watching the news and hoping the world doesn't go boom this weekend.

But, you're not alone. I've got a romance novel 80% finished, I just need to insert a few scenes here and there to smooth out the pace. But I can't figure out how to do it! It shouldn't even be hard, they aren't crucial scenes, but the story needs them.

Likewise, I've got an epic fantasy that I want to finish, but can't seem to get the characters to settle out. My two main characters are fine, but some of the main side characters are wanting to go off in odd directions. Ugh!

And I completely agree about fan fiction as well. I've sort of felt let down by the 12th Doctor. (I think Capaldi could be great. But this idea to make the Doctor an unlikeable character has just not worked for me. It actually makes me a bit sad.) I've got a whole 11th Doctor/River Song fantasy novel in my head. I've even got a cover for it. But I don't know if it's worth writing it now, if anyone will read it, or if the Doctor Who fandom has moved on. I really need to write it, I'll feel sad if I don't. But, ugh.

So, yeah, you're not alone. I don't know why people want to write. But as a reader I'm really glad people do. I don't know what I'd do without my favorite books and fan fictions. They've gotten me through tough times and made my good times better. Stories are like friends, you always know you can go back to them. But that means people need to write them.

I guess that's why some of us are obsessed. Even when we want to throw things at the walls.

[amberfocus.livejournal.com]

Well, the world didn't go boom and continues not to have gone boom yet, so that is somewhat helpful. I am not entirely convinced it still won't go boom at some point, but, eh...we'll see.

I'm not so sure people want to write so much as we are driven to do it. Otherwise these crazy people stay in our heads and boss us around. We have to get them out someway, right?

[kaffy_r]

Very late to comment. I, too, have difficulty in writing, largely because my pace is so glacial. And it's glacial because I never write with an outline - in fact, I rarely write with any idea of what's going to happen. I start with a sentence, and wait for the rest to come - which is not at all professional.

I haven't lost my love for Who, but it's still terrifically difficult to write in that fandom for me. (I'm having a bit of a love affair with writing fic for The Goblin Emperor, and it's routing energy away from older fandoms). Specifically one WIP that's been going since *coughs*2007*coughs*. I keep pecking away at it, though. Perhaps that's the secret? Pecking?

You have a finance blog? You. Are. Awesome.