amberfocus: (Thing in Progress--Respect the Thing)
[personal profile] amberfocus
Sometimes I wonder why I write when 80% of the time it just makes my crazy. I mean, I love it, I do, but I have times where I just want to throw the computer against a wall or the characters or both. I often think it takes a special kind of madness to be a writer, or rather, a writer of fiction.

It is actually easier for me to pound out non-fiction most days. And it's clearly well received as my finance blog has close to 7.5 million views. But that is not my love. Why is it so hard sometimes to write what I love as opposed to writing what I know?

I'm kind of stuck on the epic fantasy story. My problem is that it's a trilogy and I just want to write book #3. I don't know, maybe I'll just have to write it backwards. Meanwhile, I've shelved it while two characters are warring it out. Instead I'm thinking through another story that's just a traditional romance story that may or may not be very trope-y, and wants to be a series. I can't seem to pin down my focus, though, which is so frustrating.

So then I go and look at my unfinished fanfiction and wonder if I can take a stab at a new chapter on one of those, but I just don't feel it anymore. I lost my joy in Doctor Who with the 12th Doctor and quit watching after his first season. I still want to finish those stories, but motivation is just not there. Ugh.

I'm just so scattered. It's like knitting. I have all these things I want to make, but I keep missing a stitch and then have to unravel rows to fix it. That's how I feel it would be if I leap ahead and write the third book first, like I'll end up having to unravel a big mess if I do it that way.

I can't stop watching the news, either. Maybe things will settle down after this weekend. Just hoping the world doesn't go boom. Then maybe I can focus again and stop feeling so stuck.
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