Treading Water (1/3)
Aug. 25th, 2008 12:31 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
amberfocusA/N: Based on a smut prompt that SolarFlare gave to Lillibet but she didn't want it. I couldn't resist it, so this one's for you two. Nine/Rose. Oh, and the prompt was Nine is swimming naked and Rose catches him.
Treading Water
Rose Tyler is frustrated. The Doctor has once again disappeared into the limitless depths of the TARDIS after yelling at her for being reckless and downright stupid with her own life. It doesn’t matter to him that what she did saved his life, only that she’d risked her own to do it. He’d seemed fine until he’d realized she’d been injured and that’s when he’d lost it. Oh, he’d repaired her injury easily enough, but he’d had her blood on his hands for a bit and it had totally unnerved him.
“I promised your mother I’d keep you safe!”
“You did.”
“No, I didn’t! You kept me safe. You got hurt doing it. It was idiotic and careless and I’m not worth it, Rose!” he’d thundered at her. “I’m not worth one single drop of your blood being spilt!”
“You’re worth it to me,” she’d told him earnestly, her heart in her eyes. “You’re worth everything to me.” She’d reached out for him then, stroked the side of his face and for a brief moment he’d leaned into her touch. But then he’d realized what he was doing and he’d stopped himself cold.
She hadn’t been able to read the look he’d given her. His mouth had tightened and he’d pulled away and when she reached out for his hand, he’d spun away from her and lurched towards the infirmary doors. “No,” he’d said. “No, Rose. No.”
“Don’t run away from me!” she’d hollered after him, rushing to the door, but his long strides had taken him nearly out of sight by the time she got there. She wants to bang her head against the wall, or better yet, his head. The man just doesn’t get it. He doesn’t get how much he means to her. He doesn’t get that she would have done anything to keep him safe, to rescue him from danger. He is her best friend in the entire universe. And then there is the fact that she is totally in love with him. He doesn’t get that part at all.
When the Doctor is sure Rose isn’t following him he doubles back to the pool room and struggles out of his leather jacket, laying it nicely on a wicker chair. He strips off the rest of his clothes leaving them in an ungainly pile on the floor and strides to the end of the pool, climbing up onto the diving board and doing a beautiful dive, slicing cleanly through the water and into the depths below.
He surfaces halfway down the length of the pool and begins a slow steady crawl back and forth trying to work off his frustration, his anger, and stronger than any other emotion, his fear for what might have happened to Rose that day. He can’t get the image of her brilliant red blood pooling into his hand out of his mind, the way it had slipped through his fingers. Her blood. His Rose’s blood on his hands along with countless other people’s.
But it is her blood that hurts the most, because he’s promised to protect her, to always protect her. It isn’t even breaking the promise he made to Jackie that bothers him. It is breaking the promise he made to himself the day she came on board that no harm would come to this fragile little human that made him better by her very presence in his life.
He’s been so selfish thinking his need of her makes it all right to put her into danger. But he needs to stop. He knows it, knows he needs to take her back home to her mum and let her live a normal, safe life, with normal safe people. Only he doesn’t want to. The very idea of sending her away from him wrenches something in his guts. Because without her he’ll be…well, she stops him from being lonely, missing the voices of his people long since vanished from his mind. He can’t stand the idea of her gone from his life, what it will mean when the silence echoes louder than any other sound again.
And if he tries to send her away she’ll fight him with the ferocity of a cornered tiger. She is a fighter, his Rose. Strong, independent and well able to stand up for herself against him and his bitterness and darkness and angry tirades. Every time they argue she gives as good as she gets and every time he seeks her forgiveness she gives it without question, without hesitation. And now she’s gone and done something totally stupid.
It isn’t even that she’d gotten herself hurt and bled all over him. That had filled him with guilt sure enough. No, it was the way she had touched him afterwards, tried to reassure him, comfort him, and the look in her eyes that said far more than words ever could. It is something he’s ached for nearly from the day he met her. It is something he wants and hasn’t ever dared to take. He shouldn’t even be thinking about taking it now.
He flips over onto his back and begins doing the back stroke, his eyes staring up at the ceiling as he tries to figure out what he is going to do about Rose. Yeah, sending her away is an option, but it isn’t one he can bear to do. So what is he going to do? The girl is obviously in love with him and if he looks anywhere close to straight on at his own feelings he knows he is in love with her.
In a normal relationship that would be enough, but this is not a normal relationship. He is not a normal man. And allowing himself to start any kind of physical relationship with her will be destructive. Not to him, of course, but to her. He will destroy her if he allows these feelings of hers to continue. It’s what he does and who he is. He is the destroyer of worlds and he will destroy her own personal orbit if given the chance. Better to break her heart now, early, when she can still heal, before her heart is irrevocably his. And before his is irrevocably hers.
He hits the wall, turns and flips, pushing off with his strong runner’s legs and swims the full length of the pool underwater. Maybe it doesn’t have to be like that though. Maybe, just maybe, he can have something more with Rose. Maybe flying too close to the sun won’t mean melting her wings like so much wax. Maybe together they can simply soar.
No. Hope is a foolish emotion for him to be feeling. He can’t have this. He won’t let this happen. It doesn’t matter what his body aches for. It doesn’t matter what his mind yearns for. Rose has to stay off limits. And she really, really needs to go home. Even if it kills him to take her there.
His decision made he strikes out for the edge of the pool. His resolve is firm until he reaches the end and sees her standing there in the shadow of the doorway, her eyes puffy, her face red and streaked with tears. It is obvious she has been crying and all he can think is that he did that to her. His words did that to her. He can’t bear to see her tears. It’s up to him to take those tears away. And heaven help him, he’s keeping her with him. He was a fool to think he could ever send her away.
Rose finds him in the pool room and she is more than ready to go round two with him about all of it when she realizes he is completely naked. His body moves through the water faster than any human swimmer she has ever seen. He is lithe and beautiful and his bum breaches the surface from time to time, making her want to smile through her tears. He reaches the edge and surfaces.
He rises from the pool, water sluicing in clean lines from his long limbs and spare frame, his stance strong and proud, and he doesn't even try to hide his nakedness when he notices she is there, watching him. She blushes in consternation when she realizes that his erection is rising under the intensity of her gaze, meets his eyes and senses a far greater heat forming between them.
“Rose.” His voice is low, guttural as he says her name. Something primal and fierce awakens deep within her and she steps towards him, drawn to him like the magnetic force that he is.
Her hands rise to her blouse and with shaking fingers she raises it above her head, pulls it off and tosses it aside. Her hands go next to her jeans, yanking at the stubborn button that chooses now to be difficult. She pulls so hard that it flies off and she doesn’t even care as she lowers the zipper and shimmies out of them kicking them to the side.
Her eyes never leave his and she unfastens her bra and lets it fall to the floor and then skims off her knickers. She stands there naked, hands at her sides, exposed to his gaze. His eyes trace the outline of her body and he swallows visibly. “Rose,” he breathes again, a trace of a growl in his voice and lust in his eyes. But more than that even. She sees love. He steps toward her.
She wants this, she knows she does, she just never thought it would happen. It's quite clear in this moment that it will.
Ch. 2: http://amberfocus.livejournal.com/125698.html
Treading Water
Rose Tyler is frustrated. The Doctor has once again disappeared into the limitless depths of the TARDIS after yelling at her for being reckless and downright stupid with her own life. It doesn’t matter to him that what she did saved his life, only that she’d risked her own to do it. He’d seemed fine until he’d realized she’d been injured and that’s when he’d lost it. Oh, he’d repaired her injury easily enough, but he’d had her blood on his hands for a bit and it had totally unnerved him.
“I promised your mother I’d keep you safe!”
“You did.”
“No, I didn’t! You kept me safe. You got hurt doing it. It was idiotic and careless and I’m not worth it, Rose!” he’d thundered at her. “I’m not worth one single drop of your blood being spilt!”
“You’re worth it to me,” she’d told him earnestly, her heart in her eyes. “You’re worth everything to me.” She’d reached out for him then, stroked the side of his face and for a brief moment he’d leaned into her touch. But then he’d realized what he was doing and he’d stopped himself cold.
She hadn’t been able to read the look he’d given her. His mouth had tightened and he’d pulled away and when she reached out for his hand, he’d spun away from her and lurched towards the infirmary doors. “No,” he’d said. “No, Rose. No.”
“Don’t run away from me!” she’d hollered after him, rushing to the door, but his long strides had taken him nearly out of sight by the time she got there. She wants to bang her head against the wall, or better yet, his head. The man just doesn’t get it. He doesn’t get how much he means to her. He doesn’t get that she would have done anything to keep him safe, to rescue him from danger. He is her best friend in the entire universe. And then there is the fact that she is totally in love with him. He doesn’t get that part at all.
When the Doctor is sure Rose isn’t following him he doubles back to the pool room and struggles out of his leather jacket, laying it nicely on a wicker chair. He strips off the rest of his clothes leaving them in an ungainly pile on the floor and strides to the end of the pool, climbing up onto the diving board and doing a beautiful dive, slicing cleanly through the water and into the depths below.
He surfaces halfway down the length of the pool and begins a slow steady crawl back and forth trying to work off his frustration, his anger, and stronger than any other emotion, his fear for what might have happened to Rose that day. He can’t get the image of her brilliant red blood pooling into his hand out of his mind, the way it had slipped through his fingers. Her blood. His Rose’s blood on his hands along with countless other people’s.
But it is her blood that hurts the most, because he’s promised to protect her, to always protect her. It isn’t even breaking the promise he made to Jackie that bothers him. It is breaking the promise he made to himself the day she came on board that no harm would come to this fragile little human that made him better by her very presence in his life.
He’s been so selfish thinking his need of her makes it all right to put her into danger. But he needs to stop. He knows it, knows he needs to take her back home to her mum and let her live a normal, safe life, with normal safe people. Only he doesn’t want to. The very idea of sending her away from him wrenches something in his guts. Because without her he’ll be…well, she stops him from being lonely, missing the voices of his people long since vanished from his mind. He can’t stand the idea of her gone from his life, what it will mean when the silence echoes louder than any other sound again.
And if he tries to send her away she’ll fight him with the ferocity of a cornered tiger. She is a fighter, his Rose. Strong, independent and well able to stand up for herself against him and his bitterness and darkness and angry tirades. Every time they argue she gives as good as she gets and every time he seeks her forgiveness she gives it without question, without hesitation. And now she’s gone and done something totally stupid.
It isn’t even that she’d gotten herself hurt and bled all over him. That had filled him with guilt sure enough. No, it was the way she had touched him afterwards, tried to reassure him, comfort him, and the look in her eyes that said far more than words ever could. It is something he’s ached for nearly from the day he met her. It is something he wants and hasn’t ever dared to take. He shouldn’t even be thinking about taking it now.
He flips over onto his back and begins doing the back stroke, his eyes staring up at the ceiling as he tries to figure out what he is going to do about Rose. Yeah, sending her away is an option, but it isn’t one he can bear to do. So what is he going to do? The girl is obviously in love with him and if he looks anywhere close to straight on at his own feelings he knows he is in love with her.
In a normal relationship that would be enough, but this is not a normal relationship. He is not a normal man. And allowing himself to start any kind of physical relationship with her will be destructive. Not to him, of course, but to her. He will destroy her if he allows these feelings of hers to continue. It’s what he does and who he is. He is the destroyer of worlds and he will destroy her own personal orbit if given the chance. Better to break her heart now, early, when she can still heal, before her heart is irrevocably his. And before his is irrevocably hers.
He hits the wall, turns and flips, pushing off with his strong runner’s legs and swims the full length of the pool underwater. Maybe it doesn’t have to be like that though. Maybe, just maybe, he can have something more with Rose. Maybe flying too close to the sun won’t mean melting her wings like so much wax. Maybe together they can simply soar.
No. Hope is a foolish emotion for him to be feeling. He can’t have this. He won’t let this happen. It doesn’t matter what his body aches for. It doesn’t matter what his mind yearns for. Rose has to stay off limits. And she really, really needs to go home. Even if it kills him to take her there.
His decision made he strikes out for the edge of the pool. His resolve is firm until he reaches the end and sees her standing there in the shadow of the doorway, her eyes puffy, her face red and streaked with tears. It is obvious she has been crying and all he can think is that he did that to her. His words did that to her. He can’t bear to see her tears. It’s up to him to take those tears away. And heaven help him, he’s keeping her with him. He was a fool to think he could ever send her away.
Rose finds him in the pool room and she is more than ready to go round two with him about all of it when she realizes he is completely naked. His body moves through the water faster than any human swimmer she has ever seen. He is lithe and beautiful and his bum breaches the surface from time to time, making her want to smile through her tears. He reaches the edge and surfaces.
He rises from the pool, water sluicing in clean lines from his long limbs and spare frame, his stance strong and proud, and he doesn't even try to hide his nakedness when he notices she is there, watching him. She blushes in consternation when she realizes that his erection is rising under the intensity of her gaze, meets his eyes and senses a far greater heat forming between them.
“Rose.” His voice is low, guttural as he says her name. Something primal and fierce awakens deep within her and she steps towards him, drawn to him like the magnetic force that he is.
Her hands rise to her blouse and with shaking fingers she raises it above her head, pulls it off and tosses it aside. Her hands go next to her jeans, yanking at the stubborn button that chooses now to be difficult. She pulls so hard that it flies off and she doesn’t even care as she lowers the zipper and shimmies out of them kicking them to the side.
Her eyes never leave his and she unfastens her bra and lets it fall to the floor and then skims off her knickers. She stands there naked, hands at her sides, exposed to his gaze. His eyes trace the outline of her body and he swallows visibly. “Rose,” he breathes again, a trace of a growl in his voice and lust in his eyes. But more than that even. She sees love. He steps toward her.
She wants this, she knows she does, she just never thought it would happen. It's quite clear in this moment that it will.
Ch. 2: http://amberfocus.livejournal.com/125698.html
