Forgotten (5/5)

[amberfocus]

                                                                  Chapter Five: Reconstitute

The Doctor watches as Rose turns abruptly on her heel and walks away from him and he falls silent, his mouth gaping open. “Rose!” He starts after her and stops only at Mickey’s snort of disgust. “What?”

“For a genius, you’re an idiot,” Mickey states.

“Oh, this from Rickey the Idiot.”

“I’ve got a lot more sense than you,” snaps Mickey. “What’s wrong with you going on about Madame de Pompadour like that in front of Rose?”

The Doctor frowns thinking back over what he just said. “I wasn’t going on, just stating the facts, Mickey-boy.”

“Do you get that we didn’t think you were coming back? Do you get that Rose thought she was never gonna see you again because of that woman?” he demands.

“Rose knew what had to be done. It was her idea to use Arthur. She knows the importance of the time lines--.”

“Well, you want to know what she doesn’t know the importance of, Doctor? She doesn’t know the importance of her place in your life!” Mickey snarls.

“Of course she knows.”

“No, she doesn’t! All she knows is that one minute you were kissing her in the infirmary and she thought everything was going to be okay again between the two of you and then a few hours later she finds out you were kissing the uncrowned queen of France! The beautiful, clever, devious Madame de Pompadour.” Mickey spits out the title.

“She knows about the kiss?”

In a fury Mickey turns on him. “It’s true then? You did kiss her?” The shock in his voice has the Doctor blushing in embarrassment. “I had more faith in you than that. Honestly, the way Rose raves about you, the faith she has in you and I thought that woman was just trying to make her jealous but you kissed her!”

“I didn’t kiss her. She kissed me!”

“Oh, and I suppose she just fell on your lips?” Mickey snaps.

“Sort of, yeah.”

“Like I’m gonna believe that!”

“Believe what you want, Mickey!”

“I do. I believe you’re not any good for Rose, that’s what I believe. I believe that you’re a git and an idiot who doesn’t know what he’s got when he’s got it. Rose already thinks she’s not good enough for you. She already thinks you’re going to tire of her and leave her behind somewhere. Then you come back and you go on and on about that woman. How can Rose possibly think she can compare?”

“She can’t,” says the Doctor. He’s quite surprised to find Mickey’s fist driving into his jaw and himself down on the grating a second later flat on his back.

“Don’t you dare--.” Mickey’s voice is shaking and he looks like he wants to have another go.

“Stop it, Mickey. I meant there’s no comparison.”

“Dig that hole a little deeper, Doctor, and let me kick you into it,” snarls Mickey. “If you think that Rose can’t hold a candle to your little French tramp--.”

“Mickey Smith, I said no such thing! Reinette in no way can compare to Rose! Rose is everything to me. Everything! I don’t want anyone else. I never did. That woman is a force of nature and she kissed me and that’s as far as it went. Because I love Rose and she’s all that I want.”

“Then tell her! And don’t you dare mess it up, because I think that if you don’t fix this and fix it right, you’re going to lose her. And believe me, you don’t want to feel what it’s like to lose Rose because it’ll hurt more than you can ever imagine! I know. I’ve been there and--.” He breaks off on a gasp, takes a deep breath and forces the pain from his voice. “If she loses you, Doctor, I think it’ll kill her.”

Mickey whirls away from him and stomps out of the control room. He shouts back down the corridor, “By the way, Doctor, it wasn’t five and a half hours. It was five and a half days!”

The Doctor stares after Mickey in horror and pulls himself to his feet. He rubs at his rapidly bruising jaw before asking the TARDIS where Rose is. The ship informs him that she’s in the observatory and he hurries out to find her.



“Rose?”

“Go away, Doctor. You really don’t want to be with me right now.” Rose’s voice is furious and underneath it is a hardness he’s never heard from her before.

“Rose, please…”

“Please what? Let you lie to me? Let you break my heart again?” she asks bitterly. “Why would I wanna do that?”

“I’ve never lied to you, Rose,” he tells her quietly.

“Never lied?” She considers his words carefully. When she speaks again her voice is neutral, devoid of emotion. “No, I don’t suppose you did. Not telling me things isn’t really lying, is it?”

“Rose.”

“So let’s hear it then, Doctor. Explain yourself. Explain all about your beautiful, clever Reinette. Explain to me about how you kissed her, how you danced with her only hours after you…after you kissed me and made me think we were going to be okay.” She takes in a deep shuddering gasp and he can see what it is costing her to remain calm.

“I didn’t kiss her--.”

“No? She says that you did. She implied that you did much more than that,” Rose counters.

“Rose, I would never…I didn’t have sex with her. When she said danced she meant danced. The minuet in front of the royal court to make the king jealous and let his eyes fall on her with favor. That’s all it was.”

“And the kiss?”

“She kissed me, Rose. I had nothing to do with it,” he says.

Rose finally turns to meet his eyes but her posture is stiff and unyielding. “Did you kiss her back?” Rose asks.

He’s quiet as he thinks about how to say this so that he doesn’t hurt her but he can’t even find a way. “I…yes. It meant nothing,” he finally says.

“Do I?” she asks.

“Do you what?”

“Mean nothing?”

“Oh, Rose, no. You mean everything!” he breathes.

“Then how could you do that? How could you kiss her back? Does anything you’ve ever said to me mean anything at all?” she demands. “Not to you? Someone you love?”

“You know it does,” he says quietly. “It was wrong of me, Rose. My body was reacting to the tenderness, the touch. It’d been so long…”

“And that’s my fault, is it?”

“Rose. That’s not—.”

“Because I haven’t been kissing you and I haven’t been touching you? So this is my fault?! I kissed you that morning, didn’t I? Held you, told you that—that—.” She broke off, her fury rolling into a half sob.

“It was reflex. No more than that. She means nothing and as soon as I realized… You have to know this, Rose. It’s you that I want. It’s you that I was desperate to get back to. Rose, you’ve always been what I wanted. From the day that I met you, you’ve been what I wanted. I got stupid for a minute, but I put a stop to it. I didn’t let her have what she wanted because my hearts belong to you.”

“I want to believe you,” she begins.

“Then believe me!” he interrupts. “I’ve never stopped wanting you! You’re the one--.” He breaks off, not wanting to accuse her of anything.

“I’m the one that what?” she asks her voice dipping dangerously low.

“You’re the one who stopped wanting me because I changed,” he says and he lets slip all of the anguish he has felt over that fact as he meets her eyes.

“I didn’t stop wanting you,” Rose wails.

“You didn’t want this me,” he says bitterly. “You wanted the old me back!”

“I was confused. I needed time. And I’ve had that time and I thought the other morning I’d made it clear to you when I kissed you in the infirmary and I said I wanted to try again that I was ready to go back to what we were,” she tells him. “Now, I just don’t know.”

“Do you still want the old me back?” he asks.

“The old you is still here.” And she touches his chest, her hands resting over his hearts. “He never left. I just couldn’t see it ‘cause the packaging changed. But what’s inside, it’s still you. And that’s who I want. You.”

He moves to pull her into his arms but she takes a step back. “Doctor, I…you hurt me. Part of me wants to throw myself into your arms and let you kiss away every fear I have, but my head says you’re just going to hurt me again and I don’t know if I can bear it.”

“It’ll never happen again, Rose. Never. I’ll not ever let it. I swear to you.”

“I want to trust you,” she says. “I want to.” She shakes her head. “I just don’t think I can.”

“I would have told you. About the kiss. I would have told you, even if you hadn’t asked. Because you deserve to know. I won’t keep things like that from you. I learned my lesson not telling you about regeneration and I’m not going to make that mistake again. I promise you, Rose. I’ll tell you the truth and I won’t keep secrets,” he insists.

She studies his face for a long time and he keeps his own eyes glued on hers. He wants to tell her he loves her, but he wants this decision to come without that kind of emotional manipulation so he holds his tongue. He sees the exact moment when she bends, the exact moment when she chooses not to break. She nods her head once accepting his words at face value and this time when he reaches for her she doesn’t pull away. Her body yields to his as he pulls her closer and buries his face in her shoulder.

They stand together like that for a long time, until the chill of almost losing her leaves his bones, and he thinks that maybe this time the pieces of their tattered relationship can be mended. He knows it won’t happen overnight, but he’s going to do everything in his power from now on to make sure that Rose Tyler knows that she will always ever be the only woman he wants.

                                                            ~To Be Continued in Pride~  http://amberfocus.livejournal.com/358910.html 



 

Comments

[honorh.livejournal.com]

*waves pompoms*

Oh, Mickey, you're so fine, you're so fine you blow my mind, hey, Mickey! Hey, Mickey!

/Toni Basil

I'm glad they're back on the road to reconciliation--and that they're finally clear on what they really want. Promise me that all this angst will be balanced out by some sweetness?

[nurse-stiney.livejournal.com]

YES YES YES YES MARRY ME MICKEY MARRY ME!!! :D
::ignoring roommates' stares as I wave my arms in the air, Hiro!style::
But damn. I'm just glad the Doctor and Rose are finally talking! Rose is definitely the better person, because in her situation, I would've gotten violent. Or just walked away.
But did I hear sweetness coming up in this series?! Because YAY! All this angst is exhausting, I tell ya. :P

[ramblinsuze.livejournal.com]

You GO, Mickey! The Doctor definitely needed some ass kicking here.

God, the Doctor and Rose just go around and around and around. *Please* tell me that they are really working things out this time. All this stress can't be good for me the baby.

[audamy.livejournal.com]

“Dig that hole a little deeper, Doctor, and let me kick you into it,” snarls Mickey. “If you think that Rose can’t hold a candle to your little French tramp--.”

I love Mickey so freaking much right now. I thought I liked it when he punched the Doctor but those next bits made me want to kiss him on the mouth. I was never a Mickey fan and he comes off kind of annoying in some fics but you've converted me.

[doctor10-crazt.livejournal.com]

Go Mickey! Seriously, I like him about 300% more now than I did before I read this, and I liked him a lot before....

Did I hear correctly that you're going to be giving us sweetness? Please tell me I did.

[dragonmom64.livejournal.com]

Go Mickey! FTW!

I loved it when Mickey popped him one...like, YEAH!

Will they be able to recover from this?

[catyuy.livejournal.com]

Oh good.
Everything is back on track with them.
*lets ou a sigh of relief*

[kholly.livejournal.com]

Go Mickey go!

Loved this line: Dig that hole a little deeper, Doctor, and let me kick you into it.

In the end though actions are going to have to speak louder than words. You can't just say trust me, you have to be trustworthy. I'll enjoy watching him earn back her trust.

Yay! An end to the angst!

[invisigothds.livejournal.com]

Good for you Mickey. Poor Mickey, always got the short end of the stick.

Can't wait for more.

[ladychi.livejournal.com]

Oh, Amber. I tell you, if I wasn't exhausted with a headache after having a terrible day... I would write a glowing, effusive review of this series and this story.

Since I'm tired and ill, I'll just go with a few simple things:
1) Mickey FTW
2) You never disappoint
3) More!

[xebgoc.livejournal.com]

ok. you're forgiven for making me flail last night.

:)

[tardisblue.livejournal.com]

*sighs in relief*
So things will get better for them?
Loved seeing Mickey defend Rose the way he did!

[yenly-gozal.livejournal.com]

Yes! That's it! Go Mickey! You're awesome!

I'm so glad that it turns out well. There were heartaches and anger, but in the end, they have each other. Hopefully, they won't go 1 step forward and several steps backwards... again.

The next installment's title seems promising enough.

[lostwolfchats.livejournal.com]

*bites fingernails, because you iz tricksy and I don't trust you*

[salimali.livejournal.com]

Yay for Mickey!!!


Now I feel that there can be some hope for their relationship- they spoke and told some truths.

A good start!!

[sunnytyler001.livejournal.com]

"It was reflex. No more than that. She means nothing and as soon as I realized… You have to know this, Rose. It’s you that I want. It’s you that I was desperate to get back to. Rose, you’ve always been what I wanted. From the day that I met you, you’ve been what I wanted. I got stupid for a minute, but I put a stop to it. I didn’t let her have what she wanted because my hearts belong to you.”

Come here, Moffat, and read this! That's how TGitF should have ended!
Brilliant! (as always!) I can't wait for more!
(And Mickey is made of win!... I'm so happy Noel won a Bafta!!!)

[togetheragain21.livejournal.com]

Mickey,bless that boy always ready to defend Rose and stick up for her no matter how hard it is for him to do so considering their history.

Finally the Doctor has started talking to Rose,let's hope he doesn't stop now.

I think Rose will be able to trust the Doctor again given time,their just going to have to one step at a time..

Looking forward to the sweetness that's to come.

[electrictoes.livejournal.com]

Thank you, Mr Mickey. Awesome.

Fantastic stuff :)

[caraskye.livejournal.com]

Your stories are always guarenteed to make me smile at the end :) Well done mickey, and well done Doctor. Will there be some fluff next? Pride sonds hopeful :)

[wildwinterwitch.livejournal.com]

Yay for Mickey!

[ladyprydian.livejournal.com]

He’s quite surprised to find Mickey’s fist driving into his jaw and himself down on the grating a second later flat on his back.

When in doubt of a Tyler Slap a Smith punch works out well.

[doctorsdiva.livejournal.com]

I always found it hard to like Mickey and still can't watch 'Rose' without cringing. But your Mickey is a completely different guy and he's great.

Poor Rose though. So much angst for one little pink and yellow human. *sighs* Let's hope Pride gives her some relief. :)

[theoneeyedwitch.livejournal.com]

I LOVE MICKEY SMITH!!!

Okay now that I've got that out of my system, I have to say that I love this chapter, and I'm praying that the doctor doesn't do anything to mess things up again. I don't think my poor nerves could take any more angst :P

[dudewithak.livejournal.com]

Great ending! Good to see an end to the angst and hopefully more sweetness to come.

[maniacalshen.livejournal.com]

Jeeeeez, what a mess. You softened Moffat's blows as much as possible, and it still left them in tatters!

The Doctor better think of something good this time. XD