Devastate (1/4)

[amberfocus]

A/N:  Recognizable dialog is from the episode Bad Wolf.

Devastate

 

Rose. The word pulses in his mind as he wakes up in the bottom of a strange wooden cubicle. Rose. It pushes at him as he finds the way out into a house that is strange and yet oddly familiar. Rose, as he tries to put things together and figure out how he got trapped in some crazy reality show. Rose, as he watches one girl die and rescues another. Rose, as he finds his way to Jack and the three of them search desperately for his missing life. Rose, as they locate her, burst into the studio and he sees her across the room. Rose, as she runs to him and he runs to her. Rose, as she’s almost in his arms. ROSE! And she’s gone in a destructive burst of laser light.

 

 

He falls to his knees, stares at the pile of dust where seconds earlier his beloved girl breathed her last breath. It’s impossible, he thinks. She can’t just be dead. Not like that. Not so ignobly. Not her. Not his Rose. She has too much life in her, too much life yet to live, too much life yet to give. But the evidence of his own eyes is clear, concise and to the point. He’s lost her, lost everything in one stupid, pointless, useless moment and now there’s nothing. Nothing left. No purpose. No light to balance his darkness. No joy. No Rose. It tears at him. He runs his fingers through the dust like he will never again do to her hair. And for one brief moment he wants to follow her into death.

 

He hears Jack raging in the background, remembers he still has one human to look after, two if he counts the guileless child with the Y in her name, but he cannot tear his eyes away from the remains of Rose, cannot think long enough about the other people in his care to do anything. He is vaguely aware of hands pulling at him, trying to drag him away from his Rose. He is numb, resists by doing nothing, but eventually he is yanked to his feet. It angers him when the arresting officer drags his own feet casually through the dust that was once his hearts.

 

He allows that feeling to build within him in the very center of his being, but he allows nothing to show on his face. Not yet. Only his devastation at the loss of Rose. It is not a mask, not really, because it is his overriding emotion. But the anger is there and he vows that someone, whoever is responsible, will pay for this action and if he has his way, that person will do so with their own life. The thought gives him pause as he stops to consider what Rose would think of that. She wouldn’t want him to, he knows, but she’s gone now and there’s no one to stop him, no one to hold back the building storm. Someone will pay the penalty for taking his life from him. His Rose.

 

 

 

Doctor. The first thought that drops into her mind as she wakes on the floor. Doctor. She doesn’t know where she is or how she got there and is confused by the face above her, one she’s never seen before, one that seems sympathetic only to turn on her later. Doctor, as she realizes the game she’s stuck in has deadly results. Doctor, as one by one her teammates are stripped away into death. Doctor, as it narrows down to only her and the no longer sympathetic man. Doctor, as she realizes the game is lost and she’s about to be murdered. DOCTOR! And he’s there shouting her name and she runs to him, runs to his arms and she’s almost there. Then she’s not.

 

There’s pain as she’s scrambled through space and put back together again, the overwhelming nausea threatening to make a mess on the nice shiny deck she finds herself on. It only takes seconds to get her bearings and then she is looking up into the face of fear. Her mind screams for her lover, but the only word that comes to her lips is Dalek.

 

Her stomach turns over again and she tries to calm the flutter there by pressing her hands firmly against it, willing it to stop, hoping there’s been no permanent damage from the transport as she forces bile back down. She gathers her courage together as the Daleks surround her. She will be brave and strong for her Doctor. She will not fall down in front of his enemies. Nor will she give them quarter. At first they ignore her, but then they are screeching about being detected and her heart leaps for a second knowing he’s found her, like he’s always found her, like he’ll always find her.

 

They order her to her feet and she manages to get shakily up using the wall behind her for support. And the view screen in front of her turns on and shows a ragtag band of humans, her Doctor in the middle and when he sees her on his own view screen he swallows down hard on his emotions, his eyes terrified for one brief moment before he’s back in control. Her heart goes out to him, so sorry to have put him in this situation. He is flip, as he so often is when he’s trying to cover for fear or hurt, but even that doesn’t stick as his eyes skitter back to meet hers.

 

They make their ultimatum, tell the Doctor not to interfere or they will exterminate her. His eyes well briefly and he gathers his resolve. She knows what his next word will be before she hears it, tries not to let it tear the bottom out of her world, because she knows he can’t give in to them. Not even for her. Still, the word rips through her. “No,” he says and he locks eyes with her.

 

“Explain yourself,” the Dalek demands.

 

“I said, no.” She tries to keep her eyes from widening in fear for herself, doesn’t want him thinking she thinks he’s betraying her when she knows it’s the only answer he can give them.

 

“What is the meaning of this negative?”

 

“It means no,” he says firmly.

 

“But she will be destroyed,” the Dalek says and if it’s possible Rose hears confusion in his tone. Confusion she can’t help but mirror on her own face until she hears his next words.

 

“No, ‘cause this is what I’m gonna do. I’m gonna rescue her. I’m gonna save Rose Tyler from the middle of the Dalek Fleet. And then I’m gonna save the Earth. And then just to finish off, I’m gonna wipe every last stinking Dalek out of the sky!” His voice is angry and determined and although it seems impossible Rose believes him in that moment, because he is her Doctor and he always keeps his word.

 

“But you have no weapons. No defenses. No plans,” protests the Dalek.

 

“Yeah, and doesn’t that just scare you to death?” the Doctor says with conviction and a maniacal look on his face that Rose is very glad is not being directed at her.

 

Then words are being directed at her. Soft words, starting with her name as only he can say it. “Rose?”

 

“Yes, Doctor?” she replies hope springing into her voice and eyes as she focuses on his face, sees…is it love on his face? So deep, yes, she thinks it must be love.

 

“I’m coming to get you.” And she believes it. Believes with everything in her being that he is. The view screen switches to space and she holds desperately to that hope as the Daleks surround her.

 

The metal monsters demand she predict what he’ll do, demand that she give them information, but she refuses, stands up and defies them. And then they fire missiles at the TARDIS as it’s in flight and she watches on the view screen as they impact into her Doctor’s ship in a vivid fireball that wipes the last trace of hope from her heart and she knows she’s lost him. The man she wanted forever with is gone. She never thought forever would end this soon. Her heart rips in two.  She misses him already. Her Doctor.

 

 Ch. 2:  http://amberfocus.livejournal.com/62683.html

 

 

Comments

[blemt.livejournal.com]

As always, brilliant! And a wonderful kick off before work!

(And WOOT! First comment! Yay! *snoopy happy dance*)

[nattieb.livejournal.com]

You have summed up the emotions so well for this episode, it is beautiful and oh so powerful.

Does the whole story take place after Bad Wolf or will it include Parting of the Ways, as well?

[yenly-gozal.livejournal.com]

Great job! Like you always do. Love these different POVs. Looking forward for the next part.

[amyo67.livejournal.com]

Beautfully written. As always you have delivered another great chapter. You really captured the emotions so well.
What a nice start to my day. Thanks so much.

[angelfireeast.livejournal.com]

Perfect! It's all I can say

[sunnytyler001.livejournal.com]

Awwww!!!! Brilliant!

[nina-ds.livejournal.com]

I'm really looking forward to seeing how you fit a story into BW/POTW, they're so "tight". Here we go!

[bippy24.livejournal.com]

Oh, I love the way you fill in the thoughts during Bad Wolf. Great job!

[honorh.livejournal.com]

Ooh, nice! I absolutely love that throwing-down-the-gauntlet scene when the Doctor tells the Daleks exactly what he's about to do. The look on Rose's face is so very, "Yeah, you come and get me, and then it's you and me up against a wall, baby!"

Anyway, love it, and this looks to be fabulous.

[absolutbritish.livejournal.com]

Brilliant. Very angsty. Beautifully written. Can't wait for more...

[azriona.livejournal.com]

That. Was. Awesome.

I love how you've got their names reverberating in their minds, kind of like heartbeats, over and over. (Rose...Rose...Rose...Doctor....Doctor...Doctor...it even works with the syllables, because Rose would only have the one heart beating, the Doctor would have two.) Utter genius.

I'm not going to comment on the fluttering Rose felt in her stomach. Except, of course, that I just did. So I'll chalk it up to me looking too closely at things, and move on.

Her mind screams for her lover, but the only word that comes to her lips is Dalek.

She never thought forever would end this soon.

Somehow, the Doctor's rage seems all the more potent, with the build-up you've given it. I think this chapter just became canon for me.

[slvrcrystalc.livejournal.com]

Oh I love this! The depths of sadness and the hight of rage in the Doctor are clearly shown.

Fluttering in the stomach? I would definitely be feeling some serious nausea from a dodgy transport, but why do I think that it is something more? You know, I always wondered what that dust left over was... There's an awful lot of it!

Oh no, there's going to be a Parting of the Ways here soon! @.@
*Worries*

[bluevolvic.livejournal.com]

Awww! beautifully written, Loving the angsty stuff ^___^.I really liked the wayyou wrote The Doctor's reaction to losing Rose .

[angel932.livejournal.com]

These scenes always make me cry. And then "I'm coming to get you, Rose," and I just leap off the sofa with relief!

[amberfocus.livejournal.com]

Thanks. It was hard to figure out a plot for this one, but I didn't want to skip it with all the delicious angst in this episode.

[amberfocus.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure yet, exactly. I'm still trying to figure that out as I go.

[amberfocus.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

[amberfocus.livejournal.com]

Thanks. It's what it feels like their feeling to me when I watch the episode.

[amberfocus.livejournal.com]

Wow. Thanks.

[amberfocus.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

[amberfocus.livejournal.com]

It's not easy, I can tell you that. I'm trying to squirm around in it and hollow out spots for chapters, so to speak.

[amberfocus.livejournal.com]

Thanks. *smiles*

[amberfocus.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it's one of my favorite season one scenes, probably the second favorite, the kiss being the first. LOL at the up against a wall bit. Thanks and hope so.

[amberfocus.livejournal.com]

Thank you. Glad you think so.

[amberfocus.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I was feeling it as sort of a pulse running through them. You're not going to comment on the flutters? The nervous little flutters that might or might not be more than nervous little flutters? Those flutters? Seriously? No comment? *grins*

[amberfocus.livejournal.com]

Thank you. Yeah, it was a stomach turning transport and it's taking some time for it to settle down, isn't it? Wonder why? *grins* Well, there is and there's not. There will be absorption of the Time Vortex, but it will play out in two different ways.

[amberfocus.livejournal.com]

That scene always breaks my heart, when he's just in shock and his heart is missing and he realizes that she means what she means to him.

[amberfocus.livejournal.com]

They are extremely emotional and so beautiful and it is with such a relief that we see him go and get her, isn't it?

[azriona.livejournal.com]

Nope, no comment from me. Not a peep, not a word, not a breath, not a thought. Flutters or no, I shall not even deign to admit their presence, I shall simply sit here like a good little fangirl and await the next chapter, never thinking of the road ahead.

lalalalalalalala......

Also, there's this lovely bridge in Brooklyn for sale which might interest you....

[amberfocus.livejournal.com]

*snorts*

[kk-animation.livejournal.com]

I now have have the urge to watch series 1 again. Not that it takes much urging to begin with. Loved the emotional insight to Rose and the Doctor for that episode, wonderful job. BTW- how do you write so many fics at the same time?

[amberfocus.livejournal.com]

I have a 90% eidetic memory and I don't watch much TV and I'm a stay at home mom with kids in school, so lots of time. But A Place in Time, Repercussions, To Call Our Own, and You Reap What You Sow (which is after TCOO) are already finished. I only have four stories in progress at the moment. Only, I say. *laughs*

And I love Jude and Tommy. I wish they'd hurry up and broadcast the next season.

[kk-animation.livejournal.com]

LOL, wow! Still you must have great time management skills. I'm rubish at organizing my time properly (send a lot of time reading fan fics ;) ). Plus, I'm no good at writing, so it always amazes me when I read what other people can write. I have to say, you are one of my favorite Doctor Who fan fic writers.

I can't wait either. Comes out June 2nd I believe, I'm just sad it's going to be the last one (or so I hear). But Alexz Johnson is producing a cd, I think, so that'll be cool once it comes out.

[amberfocus.livejournal.com]

Some days I do. Other days I'm rubbish at it. Thank you, I'm glad you like my writing.

Yeah, I heard it was the last season. So I hope it ends with Tommy and Jude happily ever aftering.

[sisterofkarn.livejournal.com]

I'm so glad I've seen the eps, what a cliffhanger. ^_^

I like the circular way this is presented, with each perspective ending where one thinks they've lost the other.

[amberfocus.livejournal.com]

Thanks. Keeps the tension high doing it like that I think.

[moonlight-steel.livejournal.com]

I just rewatched this episode earlier today! I miss Nine

Excellent fic as always =-)