A Sky Without Zeppelins: Chapter Seventeen

[amberfocus]

A/N:  The bit at the start is the thoughts of the coral if you couldn't figure that out.  Raise your hand if you get the inside joke about the cat's name.

                                                   Chapter Seventeen


Light, such beautiful light.
Growing. Feel myself growing.
Sentience? Is this sentience?
I am awake.
Where is…where is…
I need another mind. Where is…?
Searching…searching…
Almost finding…
There…on the edges…
Not right, he’s not right…
What is he?
Almost…almost what I need.
Search harder… Where?
Help me!
No one else. So empty. Where are they?
Alone. Alone. Alone.
Maybe…maybe close enough.
All there is. Need him. Can’t die.
Must build contact…
Why does he resist me?
Am I wrong?
Am I not wanted?
Need…need…need…
There. Contact!
But why does it hurt?
Must heal us!
Sleep now.



Rose is worried. It’s ten p.m. and she still hasn’t heard from Jonathon since he cancelled their dinner and asked her if she minded going home on her own tonight. Not that she’s been sitting by the phone waiting. With the receiver in her lap. And the cat on the other end of the couch with his back to her, studiously ignoring her in his discontent at her recent absence. She’d tried to make nice with him earlier but he’d hissed rather indignantly at her when she’d tried to cuddle him, so she’d let him go about his business.

“You’re not even my cat,” she tells him rebelliously. “You’re Mum’s. And I feel bad enough, Tyndall, without you making it worse.” The cat’s ears twitch at his name, but otherwise he gives no sign that Rose is even in the room. She takes the phone back to the kitchen and slips it onto the charger then goes to her room to fret. The cat decides to join her a moment later, slipping onto the end of her bed and turning his back to her again. Stupid cat can’t sulk without an audience, she thinks mutinously.

Her mind returns to Jonathon, her heart aching a bit in her chest. He’d said he’d call her after she got home from work but he hasn’t done. She bites her lip. Did she mess things up somehow by not agreeing to spend another night with him tonight? She doesn’t want to think that, doesn’t want to think he’s like that, but her romantic experience with men has been negative on the whole. And she’s never let it progress so far before. And now that she has, now that she feels…what she feels, it plays with her head in an unending loop of doubt and uncertainty.

It isn’t like she doesn’t want to spend the night in his bed. She does want to, but she has such a long day scheduled tomorrow. She has to be up in seven hours again for her early shift at Temmel’s. She isn’t working a full shift, but she has to be at the university by two o’clock where she is helping run the Illuminate Kids Through Science program. It is a partnership between James Lumin and the school that puts on a large exposition open for free to any child with the desire to learn about science with the idea of attracting them into the technology fields at a very young age. She remembers going three times as a child.

Rose has agreed to help out with the closing ceremonies that involve a rather interesting mix of robots in a laser show, that part being more eye-catching and memorable to a child’s imagination than really about practical science at all, but the point of it is more to teach the kids that science can be enjoyable as well as lucrative. It is always fun, she’s helped for the past three years, and the expressions on the children’s faces at the end make it a complete joy to do. And this year she gets to run the light show herself.

She gets up again and goes to the bathroom, washing the makeup off her face and changing into her pajamas, then pads back to the kitchen and picks up the phone and dials Jonathon’s number. The phone rings several times and then his answering machine picks up. Her stomach fills with butterflies at the sound of his words. She steadies her voice so it doesn’t shake but it still comes out very small. “It’s…it’s Rose. I hope everything’s okay. I…miss you. Are we…are we still on for tomorrow night?” She sighs. “I’m going to bed now. I’ll talk to you later…I guess.” She hangs up the phone.

Well, that went completely idiotically. She’s sure she’s come off as needy and desperate. This is why she doesn’t get involved! She goes to her room and punches her pillow in annoyance then settles into her bed, her lumpy, uncomfortable, non-Jonathon-containing bed and forces herself to not think about how badly she may have messed up by backing away from the man that she…cares so much about. She hugs herself tightly and rolls onto her side, grateful that she is so tired. It means she’ll only spend a little time self-castigating before her body gives up on her mind and makes her fall asleep.

When the cat decides to dig his claws into her leg to remind her that he’s still there she decides that is the last straw. She picks up the ungrateful beast, takes him to the front door of the flat and puts him out. He gives an indignant yowl, but she holds her foot firmly against the cat flap until Tyndall gives up trying to get back in and wanders away. That cold bit of triumph doesn’t actually make her feel any better.



Jonathon wakes up at two a.m. and rolls over seeking Rose’s warmth in the bed beside him. Instead he rolls onto something prickly and hard and with a sinking heart remembers that Rose didn’t spend the night with him tonight. He also realizes he’s still fully clothed and the hard thing in bed with him is his coral. Definitely not the best Rose substitute he could have beside him. He rolls back over and turns on the lamp, then pads out to the living room and deposits the coral on the mantle again.

He stares at it for a moment in the dim light from the city that is coming in the windows. It looks a bit bigger, but that’s impossible. The shadows must simply be playing tricks on him. He returns to his room, strips out of his clothes, uses the loo and pulls on his pajamas. Jonathon heads out to the kitchen and makes himself a snack then notices that the message light on his machine is blinking. Rose!

He realizes then he slept through the time he was supposed to call her and it is far too early for him to call her now. He listens to the message and his heart sinks at the hesitation and trepidation he can hear in her voice. Is she really that unsure of how he feels about her? Someone must have really treated Rose like garbage at some point in her life for this normally confident woman to be so uncertain of his feelings now. He’s done everything but tell her that he loves her.

At least his headache is gone now. It had grown to blinding proportions by the time his head hit his pillow. Odd that, when he doesn’t even feel a trace of it in his head anymore, though it does feel oddly…fuller inside. At least without the pain he’ll be able to get himself together and meet her at the front door of Temmel’s before her shift starts. But he has a few more hours he can sleep yet. He wolfs down his sandwich and then heads back to bed, being careful to set his alarm so he can meet his girlfriend early enough and put her mind at ease. No way does he want her to go through her work shift feeling the slightest bit of doubt over how he feels about her.

He turns on his side and pulls the pillow that Rose has been sleeping on up against him. Jonathon can smell the faint scent of the shampoo she uses when she stays there, the faint scent of her body wash and the faint scent that is simply and deliciously Rose. It is soothing, calming and almost enough to trick his mind into believing she is there with him. He falls back into an easy sleep and dreams take him.



“Rose?” Rose turns at the sound of her name being called by that very familiar but unexpected voice. It is calling from the café just inside Temmel’s, the café with a full view of the front doors. She turns towards it and sees an anxious looking Jonathon sitting at the counter with a mug of coffee.

She approaches him warily, biting her lip, entirely unsure of herself in his presence now. But he is rising from his chair and enveloping her tightly in his arms. “I’m so sorry I didn’t call you back last night,” he says softly in her ear. “I had such a bad headache and I fell asleep and didn’t wake up until two. It was too late to call you then and I didn’t want to disturb your mum by calling you too early this morning.”

“So you came here?” she asks pulling back just enough to look him in the eyes. She’s still a little uncertain.

“Yes!” There is a touch of fear on his face. “You sounded…Rose, I didn’t want you thinking—ever—that I’d forget about you. Because I wouldn’t. It’s impossible. You’re all I think about. I messed up. I’m sorry.”

“You weren’t mad at me?” she asks in a lost sort of voice.

“For what?” he asks in surprise.

“For not staying last night,” she says hesitantly.

“No, oh, Rose, no. I wouldn’t. I just…”

“You just fell asleep,” she replies as the doubt vanishes from her mind and the roiling in her stomach goes away at his words. Her hand rises to his cheek and she strokes it lightly. He leans into the caress. “I’m sorry,” she says.

“What do you have to be sorry about?” he asks in surprise.

“Doubting you, even for a minute.” He smiles down at her tenderly.

“You’re all I want, Rose.” She grabs him by his jacket, her hands fisting in the fabric, and kisses him passionately right in the middle of the café. His hands start to go to her breasts and she feels the strain in his body as he stops himself. She smirks against his lips at his near loss of control. They only break apart when the other patrons in the café begin to hoot and holler.

Rose is blushing at the wolf whistles but instead of hiding from it she makes a cheeky bow to their audience then drags Jonathon out of the café and into a little alcove that is mostly hidden from public view. She kisses him again and this time she feels Jonathon’s hand on her breast on the side that is between her and the wall. She shivers at the touch and makes a tiny sound into his mouth that reminds her just what they are doing and where.

She pulls back and pushes his hand down. “Not here,” she whispers. “But tonight…at your place…in your bed.”

“Tonight?” he asks not quite sure what she’s trying to convey.

“Yes. Tonight. Not tomorrow,” she says determinedly.

“But what about…?”

“That’s over,” she says. “We can make love…if you want.”

“Oh, I want, Rose Tyler. I most definitely want.”

She smiles while biting her lip seductively. They kiss again and their bodies come back together. “I need to get to work,” she tells him reluctantly.

“But I…” He looks down their bodies and then pushes against her so she can feel his predicament. “I can’t go anywhere like this,” he hisses.

“Oh, poor, Jonathon. Guess you’ll have to stay here for a while until that rather noticeable problem dies down a bit, won’t you?” she teases. With a quick glance out at the store floor she angles her body to block any view of her actions and reaches out. With a courage she can hardly believe she has she dares to stroke the bulge in his jeans and he shudders against her, pushing into her hand and whimpering. “Tonight,” she promises.

“Minx,” he growls. He pulls her back in for one more kiss, his tongue frantically claiming ownership of her mouth as she tries to step away, and when he releases her she is dizzy and full of as much desire as he is, her knickers soaked. Well, she rather deserves that for being such a deliberate little tease.

The words I love you get stuck in the back of her throat. “I…I’ll meet you after work and you’ll take me to the expo at school?” she says. He had agreed to that earlier in the week. He nods. “Now, I’ve really got to go clock in. And you need to get back home for your furniture delivery this morning.”

“Give me a few minutes,” he says darkly. She squeezes his hand and leaves him behind with a light heart, blissfully happy and amazed that she’d ever thought to doubt him.



Jonathon is thrilled to finally have a flat full of furniture instead of just a bedroom. He walks around stroking the furniture like a cat marking its territory, putting his stamp of ownership on it. He goes to make himself lunch with the idea of eating it at his new table but then stops himself. He’d really like his first meal at that table to be with Rose. Instead, he sets his food down on the coffee table and eats on the couch, being careful with the crumbs.

The sectional is blissfully comfortable and he imagines making love to Rose on it. Not the first time, of course. He expects that to be in the bed. She’s quite fond of his bed and he’s quite fond of her in it. He grins at the understatement of that thought. He wouldn’t mind making love to her on the kitchen table, either.

If his mind keeps going in this direction he’s going to have a problem in need of taking care of, and honestly, he wants to save himself up for tonight, for her tendered promise of making love. He still can’t believe how she touched him in the department store. It would have been an unbearable tease on her part without the promise of what was to come. He smirks as his mind makes much of the innuendo in that thought. Sometimes he can be such a dirty old man.

He closes his eyes and thinks about Rose touching his groin. It was the first time she’d actually done that, touched him with her hand and it had been exceedingly arousing. He’d had to stand in that alcove for a good five minutes doing controlled breathing exercises before he’d felt safe going out into public again. Not that he’d minded. It had been worth it for her teasing rub against him.

He still cannot quite believe the good fortune that has brought him to this moment in time, where in just a few short hours he will be making her his in every sense of the word. He wants everything to be perfect for her; he wants to be perfect for her. Not too much pressure. He wonders what her expectations are of him. He already knows he’ll have to go slowly, bring her along with caution and care to ease her over her skittishness. Gentle romance will be the name of the game. Not that for one minute he considers any of what he has with Rose a game.

Jonathon wonders how cheesy it would be of him to set up candles in the bedroom. He debates with himself for a bit and wonders if he should call Donna and ask for her advice on the matter. Of course, if he does, she’ll tease him mercilessly the next time she sees him, but it’ll be worth it for proper advice for his night of making love to Rose. With reluctance, and knowing he’ll probably regret it later, he places the call to Donna’s mobile.



Donna Noble excuses herself from James Lumin to take a phone call. James watches the woman who is probably the most important person in his life walk across the room and sit down on one of the tables, chatting animatedly to whoever is on the other end. He smiles fondly at the pretty, ginger-haired woman, wondering what he’d ever do without her and hoping he never has to find out. Donna is entirely too valuable to him, to his life, to his work, to ever let her walk away.

He’s tried in lots of little ways to let her know this, but he still finds it a bit awkward trying to break that human/alien barrier that he knows exists but she doesn’t. Even though he’s lived as a human for most of his life, he’ll never quite be one. He can romance the woman (if he ever finds the courage), marry her, even beget mostly human children in this form, but he will never be a human. He will never be entirely safe and by association, neither would she. And he could never lie to her about something so important.

If he ever does get the courage up to let her know his…thoughts about her, about what he wants from her, he’ll have to tell her the truth about himself. That kind of relationship with her would need to be based on total honesty. And that might mean she’d reject him, that he’d lose her, because despite their fondness for science fiction and fantasy, when confronted by an actual alien humans tended to react…poorly. And losing her is one thing he can never allow to happen. He needs her too much.

Still sometimes he thinks she knows. Not that he is an alien, of course, but that he has a deeply held affection for her. And sometimes he even thinks she might reciprocate some of those feelings. It is really hard to tell with her. He is an expert now at reading human body language but Donna is not a normal human. She shines just that much brighter than any of the others.

She keeps a lot of her feelings close to her chest, hides them in bluster and a sharp and biting wit. Well, she keeps them as close to her chest as she can get with that rather magnificent bosom in the way. He closes his eyes. He does not need to be thinking about Donna Noble’s breasts when he is supposed to be preparing for the start of the expo. His human form will react too completely in an utterly human fashion if he thinks like that for too long.

For a few days he’d thought she might be attracted to Dr. Smith. They are together as often as not and always going out for lunch. He’d been quite relieved when the man had showed up Tuesday night hand in hand with that pretty, brilliant little student he’s been watching for the past four years as her excellent university record had caught his attention. He needed Dr. Smith far too much for him to feel constantly threatened by the man in regards to Donna. After seeing the man with Rose Tyler, he knows there will never be a threat from that direction in regards to the woman he wishes he could claim as his own.

At least the man has solved the worst of his problems. With the biodampener to mask his biological signature from any machine scans and the perception filter to fool the organic eye, he has a strong chance of remaining hidden from the Caligo. He has known nearly from the moment they had landed that they were coming for him. It has taken them a good deal of time to recover from the crash landing of their ships, but he has felt them from the moment they began to move. He had been able to hide from them as long as he remained in his office building, as long as he stayed near the vault and the masking protection it offered. This is the first time he’s gone out in public since the crash, the first time it’s been safe to with his new protections in place.

James wishes desperately for someone he can rely on to help him. The creature in the vault has still not fully recovered from the ordeal that had brought them to this planet along with his now dispersed father and all of the long gone others so many years ago. It would finish healing eventually, perhaps in another decade’s time, but until it did he was not safe outside its influence without protection. Dr. Smith’s inventions have offered him the first glimpse of that safety.

He worries about the Caligo more than he’s ever worried about any of the other bounty hunters to have come before looking for his charge. Their energy amalgam had been the one responsible for nearly killing the creature he is sworn to protect and most of its kind, of draining it of almost all life energy and maiming it to the point that most of the beings that had come with him and his father to this planet had offered themselves into its matrix as the years passed, dispersing their light into its essence to ensure it’s survival. His father had been the last to do so.

James himself cannot do that. He is the last surviving guardian of light, the only one left to safeguard the creature. It would be helpless without him. It is helpless enough as it is. And the last infusion had been enough to ensure the being would finally recover. At least, it would if the Caligo didn’t find it. Or him.

He reaches into his pockets and finds the biodampener in one and the perception filter in the other. The slight weight of them reassures him. He’s altered them both enough so that for all intents and purposes he still comes across looking like James Lumin, but for energy beings like the Caligo, he will no longer register as a creature of light on the spectrum they can see energy on, one that humans cannot. And if they can’t see his light they can’t absorb it with their darkness.

He will wait until he has to use the devices before activating them. He had tried them together the night before, and while they worked and worked quite well, they were a tremendous energy drain on his non-organic life essence. If he is lucky he will get through this important day for Illuminate with no problems. The Caligo will still be too disorganized from the crash to try and track him properly. And if they do…well, there’s a reason lasers are used in the finale of the expo.

Ch. 18:  http://amberfocus.livejournal.com/148870.html