It sounds good, but maybe you ought to explore why Cassie wants to be with Dare rather than her father? Having a daughter of 7 who worships the ground her father walks on, and would rather do anything than spend time with her older brother (LOL!), who she does love btw, I can sort of imagine that Cassie would need to have lots of issues with her father for that to happen.
Now being a person who definitely gets distracted by sparkly things (I have ADD and Aspergers syndrome; google if you will) I can sort of identify with the distraction thing, men with ADD are far worse than women for that; sorry guys but it is true...
Another thing, I hope you dont mind me saying, but I would love for you to explore more the relationship Donna has with the kids. I feel that there is so much more there to tell even if its just a oneshot.
I think you have set yourself up, (for good or bad!) an opportunity to really explore the relationships here. Your series whilst damn good, has the potential to be very in depth and exploratory.
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Now being a person who definitely gets distracted by sparkly things (I have ADD and Aspergers syndrome; google if you will) I can sort of identify with the distraction thing, men with ADD are far worse than women for that; sorry guys but it is true...
Another thing, I hope you dont mind me saying, but I would love for you to explore more the relationship Donna has with the kids. I feel that there is so much more there to tell even if its just a oneshot.
I think you have set yourself up, (for good or bad!) an opportunity to really explore the relationships here. Your series whilst damn good, has the potential to be very in depth and exploratory.
You certainly have it in you to do that.