amberfocus (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
amberfocus) wrote2008-05-14 07:41 pm
amberfocus) wrote2008-05-14 07:41 pm
Entry tags:
Repercussions (28-31 of 55)
Banner by Megz33
Chapter Twenty-eight: Laying Claim
Finally there is no more we can do on Earth to aid in the recovery. The rest will be left to time. I kiss my mum and dad good-bye and insist on a quick trip to U.N.I.T. in the TARDIS to say good-bye to Benton and to Duncan Solomon, the name given to the young Kaled man. The Doctor informs me that Duncan means warrior and Solomon means peace. It is strangely fitting for this stranger I gave birth to.
He will be monitored for the rest of his life. He was once a Dalek, once a great threat and he will never have a normal life. But he is at peace and he does not remember what he was. The only gift I could give him, but a great one indeed.
At last we are on our way again. It has been six months. Six months in one place and my feet are itching to explore a new world. I watch as the Doctor races around the console flipping switches, pressing buttons, pulling levers, pumping tubes. It is the refreshing of a distant memory and then the beautiful sound of the dematerialization sequence commences.
“We’ll be in flight for several days before we land on Deneb 8,” he tells me. “Anything in particular you want to do to pass the time? I managed to get a hold of that movie you wanted to see.”
His eyes are sad as he looks at me. We’ve been sleeping in the same bed for weeks now. He keeps the nightmares at bay. But he has not attempted to resume where we left off before the Dalek appeared. It’s as if he’s afraid that something changed between us that day and that if he even asks, I’ll turn away from him.
I close the gap between us and reach for his hand. “The movie can wait,” I tell him. “Something else has been waiting longer.” I tug him close to me and raise my face to his. “Kiss me,” I tell him.
“Rose?”
“Kiss me.” Then he is crushing me to him, his lips coming down hard on mine with a ferociousness I am not expecting but I do not object to. He takes my mouth, plundering its recesses. I kiss back, trying to tell him without words that I am his whenever he is ready to take me.
And it seems at last he is finally ready. I feel him lift me into his arms, never breaking the kiss, and carry me out of the console room and down the corridor. He tosses me onto the bed and dives beside me, his mouth yet again seeking mine.
Then we are a tangle of hands pulling at clothing, buttons ripping, fabric tearing, items flying across the room as they are discarded. Hands stroke skin exposed for the first time to the eyes of each other. Lips move over muscles and softness, skin touches skin.
It isn’t enough and I am urging him onward, tugging him closer as he guides himself inside my body with a triumphant shout of possession, laying claim to me in one powerful thrust. There is desperation in our coupling, it is fast and furious and nearly violent, but at the same time I have never felt so loved.
His mind radiates that love at me as he takes my body and I meet him thrust for thrust. I send my love back towards him as best I can and I feel a barrier drop as he enters my mind.
It is only in that final moment of completion that I realize all of my guards are down. As I scream out his name and he shouts mine, I feel in that heartbeat that the secrets I tried so hard to keep hidden are laid bare before him.
Chapter Twenty-nine: Too Many Memories
As I feel him move into my mind I try to gather my thoughts together to hide what I don’t want him to see. There is so much darkness that I can release in him if he learns what I know. I slap barriers around my secret. His secret really. But this isn’t where he goes. Instead he seeks out me.
I feel the gentle tendrils of his mind touch as they reach for the center of who I am. I am vaguely aware that he is still touching my body, making love to me a second time, but so much of it is taking place on a new level inside my head and I gasp as he lets me in, inside his.
He burns for me, his need so strong it shines like silver overlaid with amber-orange fire. There is so much longing, so much want, desperation, desire, need, need, need. I am drowning in it as wave after wave of his raw emotions hit me.
His lovemaking is gentler this time, the passion brought to tight control as he tastes and touches and learns every inch of my skin. I am so far gone in the surge of his emotions that all I can do is tangle my hands in his hair and make little encouraging noises. I love him with every part of myself, body, mind, soul.
I let him see me. All of me. He shudders to a halt as light explodes inside my mind, irradiating every vein with the fire of my own need, expanding and all consuming. I lay beneath him, spent.
He is gasping as he rolls away from me. He stares up at the ceiling trying to get his breath back. When he does, he turns to me again, strokes my face, encourages me to look in his eyes.
“Rose,” he says, great concern in his voice. “You have too many memories in your head.”
“I know,” I say. “Mine and the ones…that were altered.”
“There’s more than that,” he says. “I’m not sure how it happened. But there’s four years of memories that don’t belong to you at all. They’re distinctly separate.”
I sit up, stunned. “They’re hers,” I say as I search them out and recognize them for what they are. “The one who changed our time line and altered our reality.”
“They’re completely hers,” he tells me. “You’re not just accessing them. Somehow, they’re stored in your brain, just like your own memories. And the only way that could happen is if she’s lost them herself.”
“I don’t understand.”
“She must have given you them for safe-keeping.”
I search through them again. Somehow I don’t think he is right. My mind feels a threat in those memories, but I can't access what exactly that threat is. I am nearly one hundred percent sure she hasn’t given them to me. I am very much afraid I have simply taken them.
Chapter Thirty: Push it All Away
Thinking is the last thing I wanted to be doing right now. Thinking about the strange golden power that has been awakened in me. Thinking about the memories that are not mine and have no business in my brain. Thinking about the Doctor’s secret, something so basic to himself and I have to keep it hidden from him. Thinking at all.
***********************************************
I am grateful for the change of scenery and the chance to rest when the TARDIS shudders to a halt several days later, materializing on Deneb 8. The Doctor has been insatiable while we were in the Vortex and it has been harder to hide his secret from him each time he enters my mind. We’d been here twice before. It is a teaming melting pot of various alien cultures and the marketplace off the main space port is easy to get lost in. Not physically lost, for it is well laid out with maps posted everywhere, but mentally lost. It is a great place to go for me to not have to think.
It is somewhat odd having the Doctor trailing me through it. Last time we’d been here he’d sent me off with a credit cube and told me to have fun. Of course, he isn’t the same man, is he? This one doesn’t seem to have any intention of letting me out of his sight, but I’m not complaining.
It feels good walking through the marketplace holding hands. Oh, we’d often held hands, even my old Doctor and I had held hands, but this is different. It is that his hand belongs to me now and mine to him. He is a part of me in a way he never has been before. It is like living the dream, albeit a very weird, sometimes scary dream.
I buy various trinkets and a few items of clothing before we duck into a food stall and purchase a couple of meat-stuffed pastries and two long thin tubes filled with hot fruit juice. Deneb 8 is a colder planet, being so far from it’s primary, so almost every food or drink on it is served warm or piping hot. It would be strange drinking hot juice at home and yet here it seems perfectly normal.
I sigh as I think about my home planet. Earth is fine, in capable hands, but part of me still worries about whether it will survive the recovery effort. Earth may be my home planet, but its been a long time since its really been my home. The TARDIS is my home now. I can’t foresee a time when that will change. If the choice remains mine I will stay with this man until the day I die. And the way that he looks at me at this very moment says that he will encourage that forever.
My thoughts touch on the memories in my mind again. I have not really opened them to look, but the other Rose had shown me brief glimpses. I knew that she was happy and that she had everything with her Doctor, more than I had certainly and probably more than I could ever hope to have. So how had she lost her memories? How had they been placed in my mind? Had I really taken them? And why? What did I need them for?
I can’t think about this now. It’s too much. I push it all away, sharply shoving it to the back of my mind. I am about to ask the Doctor a question when a sharp green light breaks through the fabric of reality directly in front of us.
Chapter Thirty-one: Meeting
I watch as the thing forms into something solid, an oozing, blobby mass of goop that slithers through the tear then seals it behind itself, sliding towards the ground in mid-air, looking for all the world like one of those disgusting gelatinous things my friend Mickey used to like to play with as a kid that would climb it’s way down windows.
There are screams in the marketplace all around us and I am aware of the general chaos as dozens of different aliens run from the scene. The Doctor’s hand grips mine but neither of us makes a move to run. The unexpected seldom causes us to run without a reason.
The blob stretches and pulls away from itself until it resembles a rough figure eight. It turns on its side, becoming an infinity sign as it does so. I’ve seen that symbol before in the Doctor’s ship and I wonder if it’s anything to do with him, if he has any idea what this creature is.
A noise that puts me in mind of a rusty-throated cat purring vibrates the air around the creature. Faster than I can see it, it expands and drops and rises from it’s center into a tall green cylinder two and a half meters tall. The outsides of the cylinder drop away towards the base and the humanoid shape of a being begins to appear. Head, shoulders, torso arms and legs form; the remnants of the cylinder absorb into its feet.
It takes only sixty seconds for it to fully form. It loses its transparency and becomes fully solid. Standing before us is a green-tinged young man, including green eyes, green skin, and green hair, who appears to be about twenty until you look him in his eyes. Those eyes are ancient and yet somehow convey that they are young for his species. Whatever his species is.
“Rose Tyler?” the man asks extending his hand to me.
I feel the Doctor tense; his hand holds grips mine tightly as we rise to greet this creature. I don’t answer him and he repeats his question. “Are you Rose Tyler?”
“I am,” I manage to say ignoring the hand held out in my direction.
“I have been searching for you everywhere,” he says. “You are supposed to be on Earth and yet here you are across galaxies. You are very hard to track down.”
“And for what reason are you even looking for Rose?” the Doctor asks possession strong in his voice.
“My reasons are many. But I am being quite rude. I haven’t even introduced myself. My name is Jasz.” His smile is charming, but I don’t trust it.
He sits down at our table and we sit back down. I move my chair closer to the Doctor’s. I try not to be startled by this turn of events. It is not everyday a rather odd alien appears out of thin air and asks for you by name.
“What are you?” the Doctor asks. “I don’t recognize your species.”
“We tended to steer clear of Time Lords,” he said. “We found your kind…tiresome. I am a Sower. The youngest born to my people millennia ago. Now my people are few, but once they were many. We are dying out. We need help to live. And we must live or the universes will be overrun by the opposite of our kind and there will be chaos.”
“And you want us to help you?” the Doctor asks. “How?”
“I want no help from you,” he says. “It is not your help I seek. It is hers. The power of the wolf.” He turns to me and gives a somewhat predatory smile. “I have found you at last,” he says relief coloring his voice. “The savior of my species. I claim you as my mate, Rose Tyler.”
“No, you bloody don’t!” roared the Doctor, rising to his feet. Anger like I’ve never seen in him before rolls off him in waves. I join him, standing, my fingers tightening about his.
“I already have a mate,” I tell Jasz sharply.
“That can be remedied easily enough,” he says the menace in his voice taking over.
At last we are on our way again. It has been six months. Six months in one place and my feet are itching to explore a new world. I watch as the Doctor races around the console flipping switches, pressing buttons, pulling levers, pumping tubes. It is the refreshing of a distant memory and then the beautiful sound of the dematerialization sequence commences.
“We’ll be in flight for several days before we land on Deneb 8,” he tells me. “Anything in particular you want to do to pass the time? I managed to get a hold of that movie you wanted to see.”
His eyes are sad as he looks at me. We’ve been sleeping in the same bed for weeks now. He keeps the nightmares at bay. But he has not attempted to resume where we left off before the Dalek appeared. It’s as if he’s afraid that something changed between us that day and that if he even asks, I’ll turn away from him.
I close the gap between us and reach for his hand. “The movie can wait,” I tell him. “Something else has been waiting longer.” I tug him close to me and raise my face to his. “Kiss me,” I tell him.
“Rose?”
“Kiss me.” Then he is crushing me to him, his lips coming down hard on mine with a ferociousness I am not expecting but I do not object to. He takes my mouth, plundering its recesses. I kiss back, trying to tell him without words that I am his whenever he is ready to take me.
And it seems at last he is finally ready. I feel him lift me into his arms, never breaking the kiss, and carry me out of the console room and down the corridor. He tosses me onto the bed and dives beside me, his mouth yet again seeking mine.
Then we are a tangle of hands pulling at clothing, buttons ripping, fabric tearing, items flying across the room as they are discarded. Hands stroke skin exposed for the first time to the eyes of each other. Lips move over muscles and softness, skin touches skin.
It isn’t enough and I am urging him onward, tugging him closer as he guides himself inside my body with a triumphant shout of possession, laying claim to me in one powerful thrust. There is desperation in our coupling, it is fast and furious and nearly violent, but at the same time I have never felt so loved.
His mind radiates that love at me as he takes my body and I meet him thrust for thrust. I send my love back towards him as best I can and I feel a barrier drop as he enters my mind.
It is only in that final moment of completion that I realize all of my guards are down. As I scream out his name and he shouts mine, I feel in that heartbeat that the secrets I tried so hard to keep hidden are laid bare before him.
Chapter Twenty-nine: Too Many Memories
As I feel him move into my mind I try to gather my thoughts together to hide what I don’t want him to see. There is so much darkness that I can release in him if he learns what I know. I slap barriers around my secret. His secret really. But this isn’t where he goes. Instead he seeks out me.
I feel the gentle tendrils of his mind touch as they reach for the center of who I am. I am vaguely aware that he is still touching my body, making love to me a second time, but so much of it is taking place on a new level inside my head and I gasp as he lets me in, inside his.
He burns for me, his need so strong it shines like silver overlaid with amber-orange fire. There is so much longing, so much want, desperation, desire, need, need, need. I am drowning in it as wave after wave of his raw emotions hit me.
His lovemaking is gentler this time, the passion brought to tight control as he tastes and touches and learns every inch of my skin. I am so far gone in the surge of his emotions that all I can do is tangle my hands in his hair and make little encouraging noises. I love him with every part of myself, body, mind, soul.
I let him see me. All of me. He shudders to a halt as light explodes inside my mind, irradiating every vein with the fire of my own need, expanding and all consuming. I lay beneath him, spent.
He is gasping as he rolls away from me. He stares up at the ceiling trying to get his breath back. When he does, he turns to me again, strokes my face, encourages me to look in his eyes.
“Rose,” he says, great concern in his voice. “You have too many memories in your head.”
“I know,” I say. “Mine and the ones…that were altered.”
“There’s more than that,” he says. “I’m not sure how it happened. But there’s four years of memories that don’t belong to you at all. They’re distinctly separate.”
I sit up, stunned. “They’re hers,” I say as I search them out and recognize them for what they are. “The one who changed our time line and altered our reality.”
“They’re completely hers,” he tells me. “You’re not just accessing them. Somehow, they’re stored in your brain, just like your own memories. And the only way that could happen is if she’s lost them herself.”
“I don’t understand.”
“She must have given you them for safe-keeping.”
I search through them again. Somehow I don’t think he is right. My mind feels a threat in those memories, but I can't access what exactly that threat is. I am nearly one hundred percent sure she hasn’t given them to me. I am very much afraid I have simply taken them.
Chapter Thirty: Push it All Away
Thinking is the last thing I wanted to be doing right now. Thinking about the strange golden power that has been awakened in me. Thinking about the memories that are not mine and have no business in my brain. Thinking about the Doctor’s secret, something so basic to himself and I have to keep it hidden from him. Thinking at all.
***********************************************
I am grateful for the change of scenery and the chance to rest when the TARDIS shudders to a halt several days later, materializing on Deneb 8. The Doctor has been insatiable while we were in the Vortex and it has been harder to hide his secret from him each time he enters my mind. We’d been here twice before. It is a teaming melting pot of various alien cultures and the marketplace off the main space port is easy to get lost in. Not physically lost, for it is well laid out with maps posted everywhere, but mentally lost. It is a great place to go for me to not have to think.
It is somewhat odd having the Doctor trailing me through it. Last time we’d been here he’d sent me off with a credit cube and told me to have fun. Of course, he isn’t the same man, is he? This one doesn’t seem to have any intention of letting me out of his sight, but I’m not complaining.
It feels good walking through the marketplace holding hands. Oh, we’d often held hands, even my old Doctor and I had held hands, but this is different. It is that his hand belongs to me now and mine to him. He is a part of me in a way he never has been before. It is like living the dream, albeit a very weird, sometimes scary dream.
I buy various trinkets and a few items of clothing before we duck into a food stall and purchase a couple of meat-stuffed pastries and two long thin tubes filled with hot fruit juice. Deneb 8 is a colder planet, being so far from it’s primary, so almost every food or drink on it is served warm or piping hot. It would be strange drinking hot juice at home and yet here it seems perfectly normal.
I sigh as I think about my home planet. Earth is fine, in capable hands, but part of me still worries about whether it will survive the recovery effort. Earth may be my home planet, but its been a long time since its really been my home. The TARDIS is my home now. I can’t foresee a time when that will change. If the choice remains mine I will stay with this man until the day I die. And the way that he looks at me at this very moment says that he will encourage that forever.
My thoughts touch on the memories in my mind again. I have not really opened them to look, but the other Rose had shown me brief glimpses. I knew that she was happy and that she had everything with her Doctor, more than I had certainly and probably more than I could ever hope to have. So how had she lost her memories? How had they been placed in my mind? Had I really taken them? And why? What did I need them for?
I can’t think about this now. It’s too much. I push it all away, sharply shoving it to the back of my mind. I am about to ask the Doctor a question when a sharp green light breaks through the fabric of reality directly in front of us.
Chapter Thirty-one: Meeting
I watch as the thing forms into something solid, an oozing, blobby mass of goop that slithers through the tear then seals it behind itself, sliding towards the ground in mid-air, looking for all the world like one of those disgusting gelatinous things my friend Mickey used to like to play with as a kid that would climb it’s way down windows.
There are screams in the marketplace all around us and I am aware of the general chaos as dozens of different aliens run from the scene. The Doctor’s hand grips mine but neither of us makes a move to run. The unexpected seldom causes us to run without a reason.
The blob stretches and pulls away from itself until it resembles a rough figure eight. It turns on its side, becoming an infinity sign as it does so. I’ve seen that symbol before in the Doctor’s ship and I wonder if it’s anything to do with him, if he has any idea what this creature is.
A noise that puts me in mind of a rusty-throated cat purring vibrates the air around the creature. Faster than I can see it, it expands and drops and rises from it’s center into a tall green cylinder two and a half meters tall. The outsides of the cylinder drop away towards the base and the humanoid shape of a being begins to appear. Head, shoulders, torso arms and legs form; the remnants of the cylinder absorb into its feet.
It takes only sixty seconds for it to fully form. It loses its transparency and becomes fully solid. Standing before us is a green-tinged young man, including green eyes, green skin, and green hair, who appears to be about twenty until you look him in his eyes. Those eyes are ancient and yet somehow convey that they are young for his species. Whatever his species is.
“Rose Tyler?” the man asks extending his hand to me.
I feel the Doctor tense; his hand holds grips mine tightly as we rise to greet this creature. I don’t answer him and he repeats his question. “Are you Rose Tyler?”
“I am,” I manage to say ignoring the hand held out in my direction.
“I have been searching for you everywhere,” he says. “You are supposed to be on Earth and yet here you are across galaxies. You are very hard to track down.”
“And for what reason are you even looking for Rose?” the Doctor asks possession strong in his voice.
“My reasons are many. But I am being quite rude. I haven’t even introduced myself. My name is Jasz.” His smile is charming, but I don’t trust it.
He sits down at our table and we sit back down. I move my chair closer to the Doctor’s. I try not to be startled by this turn of events. It is not everyday a rather odd alien appears out of thin air and asks for you by name.
“What are you?” the Doctor asks. “I don’t recognize your species.”
“We tended to steer clear of Time Lords,” he said. “We found your kind…tiresome. I am a Sower. The youngest born to my people millennia ago. Now my people are few, but once they were many. We are dying out. We need help to live. And we must live or the universes will be overrun by the opposite of our kind and there will be chaos.”
“And you want us to help you?” the Doctor asks. “How?”
“I want no help from you,” he says. “It is not your help I seek. It is hers. The power of the wolf.” He turns to me and gives a somewhat predatory smile. “I have found you at last,” he says relief coloring his voice. “The savior of my species. I claim you as my mate, Rose Tyler.”
“No, you bloody don’t!” roared the Doctor, rising to his feet. Anger like I’ve never seen in him before rolls off him in waves. I join him, standing, my fingers tightening about his.
“I already have a mate,” I tell Jasz sharply.
“That can be remedied easily enough,” he says the menace in his voice taking over.