Name Help

Mar. 5th, 2017 01:36 am
amberfocus: (Eureka--Jo Lupo--Beautiful)
I am trying to come up with a good last name for the police detective in my novel. His first name is Dante. He's black, around thirty-five, works missing persons. The more fringe disappearances end up on his desk. He's a little less by the book than his colleagues because he's aware of the existence of things most people aren't. He's a minor character, or at least I thought he was, but I find hard to name characters often end up getting bigger roles than intended, so I need something that goes well with Dante. Every time I think Dante I think Inferno, so that's kind of blocking good name generation. Anyone want to throw some last names at me that might fit?
amberfocus: (Thing in Progress--Respect the Thing)
Sometimes I wonder why I write when 80% of the time it just makes my crazy. I mean, I love it, I do, but I have times where I just want to throw the computer against a wall or the characters or both. I often think it takes a special kind of madness to be a writer, or rather, a writer of fiction.

It is actually easier for me to pound out non-fiction most days. And it's clearly well received as my finance blog has close to 7.5 million views. But that is not my love. Why is it so hard sometimes to write what I love as opposed to writing what I know?

I'm kind of stuck on the epic fantasy story. My problem is that it's a trilogy and I just want to write book #3. I don't know, maybe I'll just have to write it backwards. Meanwhile, I've shelved it while two characters are warring it out. Instead I'm thinking through another story that's just a traditional romance story that may or may not be very trope-y, and wants to be a series. I can't seem to pin down my focus, though, which is so frustrating.

So then I go and look at my unfinished fanfiction and wonder if I can take a stab at a new chapter on one of those, but I just don't feel it anymore. I lost my joy in Doctor Who with the 12th Doctor and quit watching after his first season. I still want to finish those stories, but motivation is just not there. Ugh.

I'm just so scattered. It's like knitting. I have all these things I want to make, but I keep missing a stitch and then have to unravel rows to fix it. That's how I feel it would be if I leap ahead and write the third book first, like I'll end up having to unravel a big mess if I do it that way.

I can't stop watching the news, either. Maybe things will settle down after this weekend. Just hoping the world doesn't go boom. Then maybe I can focus again and stop feeling so stuck.
amberfocus: (Eureka--Jo Lupo--Beautiful)
I've had a story in my head for, more or less, the last four years. It's not come to much of anything over that time period, other than an idea I knew I wanted to develop at one point. Well, for reasons that have much to do with my recent foray down the rabbit hole of Labyrinth fanvids and fanfiction and such, and more that whole epic fantasy of a girl going from one world, normal Earth, to another, I pulled together every scrap of it that I'd written over the years, decided I couldn't use much of it, but the basic tenant and a few lines of clever dialogue, and spent about a week trying to figure out exactly where I thought this thing should go.

Then I built a playlist, songs that seemed to take me there, on youtube. Then I wrote a three book synopsis. I built the families. I built the world. I image cast my main characters to fully realize them in my head. And finally over the last two days I have sat down to write. Nearly 5000 words in and yes, I think this might actually be something. I have that writer's mania right now, that need to get the words out of my head at a rapid clip. Last time I had that I wrote Wolf Moon in 2 months.

I want to get these stories out of me as the characters are talking non-stop in my head most of the time right now. Sometimes it is like a walking dream and I have to pull myself back to reality. I'm giving myself two hours a day of uninterrupted time to write. Or at least as uninterrupted as I can make it be. It's not whofic, but it feels powerful, like a story begging to be told. And I want to tell it. I've wanted to tell it for years. It's just taken this long for it to find its true voice. I hope it stays. This is one rabbit hole I want to keep going down.
amberfocus: (9 and Background Rose)
So, I had a nasty headache all week. Well, all month really, but last week was bad. Like give me a new head bad. Like throwing up bad. Like the doctor prescribed me Vicodin bad. Like I took it without even cutting it in half bad. Like 4 visits to the chiropractor and a 2 hour massage in a week bad. Today was the first day I didn't wake up with it. Such a relief. I haven't had a headache like that in years. So I wrote some today and will write some tomorrow and will hopefully have a nice Noir chapter up Mondayish.
amberfocus: (OT3--Nine/Rose/Jack)
And the snow? It can really stop now. Okay, so it's been crazy this week, but I finally got my son caught up on all the school work he missed when he went down for the count for 3 weeks with a nasty illness. I did want to get back here and finish the meme, but this is really the first chance I have gotten. [livejournal.com profile] azriona asked for 12: Make up your own question. Her question: What's the story you WANT to write, but haven't yet, for whatever reason? (Or if you'd rather not tell us the story itself, what's the reason you haven't written it?)

If we're talking Doctor Who, I'd like to write the story that is alluded to in Boomtown when the Ninth Doctor, Rose, and Jack are in Kyoto in the 1300's. But the minimal amount of research I've done has told me that I have a boatload more research to do on the war that was going on at that time in Kyoto. But I don't have the time. And historical research is really needed to write a historical fiction piece. I've done enough reading to know that a fic set during these wars could be amazing, especially if Nine, Rose, and Jack are all trying to help on the side that isn't going to win. It is not something I want to give short shrift, too, either.

I would also really, really, really like to write a Doctor Who/Fringe crossover fic. I've been doing a Fringe rewatch and there have been so many times when I think that it would be so easy to cross Pete's World and Ten2 and Rose with alt!Livia and Walternate and them working for a version of Fringe Division in London and having to come together to solve something. I mean that universe had Zeppelins even, so it is not a stretch. And I've only ever seen it done by one person. There may be more out there, but not that I'm aware of. I've also thought about doing Nine/Rose investigating just what the heck original Walter has been doing all this time to shatter the fabric of the universe. I can totally see Nine in the Bridge Room lecturing. But that's never going to happen.

I also have 3 burning original novels that I desperately want to write, but until my son graduates from high school, I don't see how that is ever going to happen.
amberfocus: (CE Birthday Present Icon--Do Not Take)
I pretty much ignored my birthday this year since Chris wasn't home and the kids were horrible, but thanks to those of you who didn't and never do. To be honest, 44 does not feel any different from 43.

It has been a rough month and I have found myself needing the solace of writing. I've been trying to write every day no matter what. I'd fallen out of the habit.

On Friday I sold my first breeding trio of rabbits that I bred and raised from birth and made a cool $60. $20 of which I gave to my son because he does a boatload of the work. The other $40 is going for feed.

I'm going to be picking up a new breeding trio of my own on March 1st, a proven junior buck and two young weanling does, all pedigreed. They will look like these ones from the same breeder who bred these:

New Zealand Reds photo newzealandreds_zpsa78b4dd7.jpg

Yep, I'm venturing into New Zealand Reds. I'll still have the Whites, too. Eventually I'd like to get blacks and blues as well. But that will have to wait until the house sells and we have a barn or shed with more space for cages.

I'm hoping to be inspired and work on fic this weekend. Most of what I've been writing has been non-fiction, for my blogs or for the meme here. But the point is I am writing so hopefully I can start writing what I love writing most again.
amberfocus: (Cult of Nice - Nine Rose Hug)
[livejournal.com profile] corusca asked me to answer number 6, my thoughts on critique.

See "A Dangerous Creature? Not So Much" http://amberfocus.livejournal.com/590135.html for my thoughts on that score.

I think people online often use the guise of critique to tear down people they don't like or authors they think are getting too much attention and haven't paid their so-called dues. It seldom has anything to do with the work itself. I have seen it happen too often. I have seen it from people who are in positions of...if not authority in fandom, they at least have a modicum of power in it. Some of these have been quite vicious and nasty, to the point of driving people out of fandom. Often the critique ends up showing more about the critic and his or her personality, than the story that was written.

True constructive critique is rare. And it is usually done in private. It is polite and well-reasoned and can give insight into how things are being perceived by readers that an author might not have realized. It is helpful and not hurtful. It can point out a canon mistake or fandom faux pas, like writing something like "Doctor Who did this" instead of "the Doctor did this." It is well-meaning and meant to genuinely help a writer improve. That is always welcome.
amberfocus: (Terra Nova--Mother and Daughter)
[livejournal.com profile] earlgreytea68 asked for number 7, to make up a character on the spot.

Holly Lattimore is 19, but looks 25. She’s one of those kids who grew up fast, too fast, not just mentally, but physically. A good thing, too, since she’s been able to pass for an adult ever since she took her little sister and ran three years ago. All she knew then was that she had to protect Ella at all costs, and witness protection wasn’t doing it, but now the past is catching up with her. Her uncle, who has always helped them, has died under mysterious circumstances. A detective has been sniffing around Ella’s school. And her father has just been acquitted of murdering her mother, something Ella witnessed and repressed, but something Holly remembers all too well. With their father suddenly hot on their trail, Holly knows it’s time to run again, to create new identities, to find a new community to become part of, and so they do. But now Emma’s memories are starting to resurface in horrific nightmares and Holly’s sexy new neighbor, who is also the counselor at Emma’s school, is questioning their identities. It’s all Holly can do to hold it together and try to lead a normal life for her sister’s sake, but she knows all it will take is one mistake and the world she’s built for her sister will come crashing down around them with devastating consequences.
amberfocus: (Rose--Shoe Love)
I haven't done one of these in ages. Since I'm stuck in bed except when it comes to feeding and watering children and livestock, I figured I'd hang out around LJ this week and try to write something. Anything. Stolen from [livejournal.com profile] earlgreytea68

Put a number in the comments and I’ll answer accordingly.

The mission for those of us who answer the questions, should we accept it, is to stay positive about our writing and ourselves, but to also be fair about our shortcomings.

1. Of the fic you’ve written, of which are you most proud?
2. Favorite tense
3. Favorite POV
4. What are some themes you love writing about?
5. What inspires you to write?
6. Thoughts on critique
7. Create a character on the spot... NOW!
8. Is there a character you love writing for the most? The least? Why?
9. A passage from a WIP
10. What are your strengths in writing?
11. What are your weaknesses in writing?
12. Anything else that you want to know... (otherwise known as Fill in the Blank)
amberfocus: (Nine and Rose--BW Embrace)
So I got all of my documents and spreadsheets and music recovered from the drowned computer which is now residing somewhere in Seattle on life support while they decide whether or not it is worth saving. I hope it is. I don't want to live with Windows 8.

DS started homeschooling on Wednesday with the virtual school. For the last 2 days he has done all of his lessons by himself. This is huge. It means I may actually have writing time again. I mean good chunks of writing time. Hopefully this will continue.

So the plan for tomorrow is to work on finishing the chapter I was in the middle of writing when my computer drowned. Hopefully my muse will cooperate. Heck, I might even finally be able to do Nano this year. Every year I have had something interfere. It would be amazing to actually be able to do it for once.
amberfocus: (Watchmaker's Daughter icon)
I have missed several birthdays this week. Well, all summer really. So sorry and happy belated birthdays. I was overwhelmed with getting the rabbitry off the ground during the worst heatwave we've seen in years (rabbit's hate heat). And keeping the chickens alive (we lost one). And harvesting gallons of berries (still am). I've also been dealing with a sort of quasi-depression. I say quasi because it has not been full blown, but it's been underlying. I seem to have finally shaken that.

I've been writing this month. I've been writing a lot which I am sure is what has pulled me out of the quasi-depression. Mostly original fiction. I actually haven't written this much in so short a time since the last time I was manic. I'm not manic now, either, but I am seriously out of the funk and on a writing high. Mostly I've been working on Mer and Changed and Broken Bay and I'm Isa-G and This is the End of the World. I've spewed out chapters in a way I have not done since writing Wolf Moon, but my focus is all over the place, hence multiple novels.

But today, and this is what merits this update, I sat down and wrote 600 words on The Watchmaker's Daughter. And I intend to write more on it tonight after dinner. You may blame (or thank) [livejournal.com profile] liselle2010 for lighting a fire under me. I hope to finish a chapter this week. Cross your fingers that I don't lose my focus.
amberfocus: (Food--Iced Tea)
I'm trying to get my equalibrium back and actually write on some of my fanfic, but I'm being overwhelmed by three different original stories. One of them I have been working on for years. I mean, like since 1998. And I could never figure out how to open it. It was one of those things that I started writing in the middle. Guess who figured out how to open it this month?

There's another I've been working on off and on for the last year and then there's the one that I think will actually get finished and possibly go somewhere at some point and is actually more like a novel and its sequel. It wants to be a trilogy, but there isn't enough story for that I don't think.

So between original novel writing and taking care of the livestock and homeschooling and preparing the garden, I just have no idea about any of my DW WIPs right now. I'm a little apathetic because of season 7B and I think it might take me a bit longer for my normal override of reverting to shipper's headcanon kicks in. This has basically happened to me after every series since the David Tennant specials started airing so I guess I should expect it. It's frustrating though. I don't like leaving stories hanging. But it's just not where the muse is at.

I am glad that I am writing at all. Especially on the one story. Because the idea is fresh and I haven't seen it and I want to do it. I've just not been in the proper head space for it until now. I just want it out of my head and down on paper (or Word document, technically).
amberfocus: (BW Rose with Color Scarf)
Mom is taking T away tomorrow for a good portion of the day and R is going to a birthday party so I will have weveral hours to myself to write uninterupted, which will be really nice because this week has felt more like 2 paragraphs followed by someone needed something, lather, rinse, repeat. And while I can write in 5 minute blocks it is not as good as having a few hours so that I am not constantly being jarred out of the story. I hope to get a couple of chapters done. Well, not done, done, but fleshed out really well.

The [livejournal.com profile] sistersofguh ficathon is now open for posting, I need to remember to go announce that, and I will probably post my ficathon fic tomorrow. I'd do it tonight, but I'd just mess up the coding as I am so tired. It's the first smut I've written in a long time. I thought I had forgotten how there for a while.

I had my first mammogram today. The lady was really nice and funny. She had me laughing and not feeling at all self-conscious or weird. It wasn't the most comfortable thing in the world, but it didn't hurt, either. I don't know why I've been such a big scaredy cat about it up until now. It was simple.

Next week I go in for a consult for a sleep study and then the next day will actually get the physical I thought I was getting last week with the new doctor. I got my preapproval from the insurance today. He wants me tested for apnea because of my chronic exhaustion and frequent insomnia. Dad had it, so it's possible I have it, too. We'll see. It might give me the motivation to finish losing the weight I need to lose, because apparently going to Disneyland in six weeks is not enough of a carrot on a stick. *sighs*

I have to remember to go over to the lab on Monday to get a copy of my last blood panel to take to the new doctor. I'm supposed to get the next temporary crown on the 21st for the tooth on the other side of my mouth. I am thinking about postponing it until after vacation. It doesn't hurt anymore, I don't think I'm grinding my teeth the same way since the first crown, and I've got so much other stuff going on right now. I know I'll be on painkillers for at least 3 days which will mess up any sleep study, which I feel is more important at this time than going to the dentist.

Score Card

Jan. 14th, 2013 11:14 pm
amberfocus: (Leap of Faith Icon--Do Not Take)
Chapter 35 of Leap of Faith: 3014 words.

Original fiction: 30,029 words.

Homeschooling: I won

Chickens: 12

Books read in the last 7 days for me: 2

Books read in the last 7 days for homeschool: 1

Homecooked dinners from scratch in the last four days: 4

Killer snot montster from outer space: 157 (It's taken over T completely)

My knee: -1

Sappy teenage dramas from previous decades watched on Netflix: 2

Time wasted on youtube: 1 hour
amberfocus: (Billie Piper--Brunette in Profile)
I don’t know, I don’t understand it, it’s like background music playing in my head, always playing, always there, but I’m not quite aware of it anymore and those sounds, those notes, they used to be words and the words would simply flow and the story would come out of me, telling itself to me, to the world, to everyone who cared to look, that I could soar in the air with these simple letters that came one after the other through no effort of my own. It’s so hard when they are gone, or when they are there, but not strong enough to break through with any type of coherence or cohesion or anything that can make sense on paper. It’s like having a broken pen that only leaks ink, but not the author’s life’s blood. Stab me in the heart and I will bleed you a story. That’s the way it used to be.

Words, words, words, they’re just nonsense on a page, and yet I still want to make them mean something, make people want to read them, make people laugh and cry and snort and exclaim loud enough that their spouse or child comes in from the next room demanding to know the why of that reaction. I want to give my words out again, but they’re gone, just gone, gone, gone. And it’s not writer’s block. It’s so far beyond writer’s block because I can still put words together, obviously I can, but the muse that tells the story doesn’t let imagination come into it, because she’s so far gone she’s not even living on the same planet anymore.

And I think maybe I’ve lost it, that five good years was all I was going to be given. It’s more than some people can even hope for. I look at what I’ve produced and how much I loved it and how I truly feel like a bird who will never be able to fly again and I loved the flying, the words falling from each down stroke of my wings, the pen, the typewriter, the laptop.

It’s come before. It’s gone before. It’s come again, and gone again, so I know that it can, but it just isn’t. I want to fly. I want to scream and shout and beg the universe to give back what it has so blithely taken away. I want to dance in streams beneath waterfalls and let my hair drag down to my waist and see the moon above me and find that elusive thing, that maddening crazy thing, that magical, mystical thing that brings life to what I write, that allows me to tell stories, that puts little pieces of my soul into the words that pound out of my keyboard, in the words that I breathe and speak into  the darkness.

Where do you get your ideas? So often asked, so often answered. They just come to me. Only now they don’t. Now they don’t. A broken muse, a broken heart, and broken wings. I want to soar again, to stay aloft, to not come down. I miss the days of not coming back down. I want them back. All of them. And my words. For without my words I have no voice left to speak with, and nothing left to say.

amberfocus: (Billie Piper--Brunette in Profile)
I don’t know, I don’t understand it, it’s like background music playing in my head, always playing, always there, but I’m not quite aware of it anymore and those sounds, those notes, they used to be words and the words would simply flow and the story would come out of me, telling itself to me, to the world, to everyone who cared to look, that I could soar in the air with these simple letters that came one after the other through no effort of my own. It’s so hard when they are gone, or when they are there, but not strong enough to break through with any type of coherence or cohesion or anything that can make sense on paper. It’s like having a broken pen that only leaks ink, but not the author’s life’s blood. Stab me in the heart and I will bleed you a story. That’s the way it used to be.

Words, words, words, they’re just nonsense on a page, and yet I still want to make them mean something, make people want to read them, make people laugh and cry and snort and exclaim loud enough that their spouse or child comes in from the next room demanding to know the why of that reaction. I want to give my words out again, but they’re gone, just gone, gone, gone. And it’s not writer’s block. It’s so far beyond writer’s block because I can still put words together, obviously I can, but the muse that tells the story doesn’t let imagination come into it, because she’s so far gone she’s not even living on the same planet anymore.

And I think maybe I’ve lost it, that five good years was all I was going to be given. It’s more than some people can even hope for. I look at what I’ve produced and how much I loved it and how I truly feel like a bird who will never be able to fly again and I loved the flying, the words falling from each down stroke of my wings, the pen, the typewriter, the laptop.

It’s come before. It’s gone before. It’s come again, and gone again, so I know that it can, but it just isn’t. I want to fly. I want to scream and shout and beg the universe to give back what it has so blithely taken away. I want to dance in streams beneath waterfalls and let my hair drag down to my waist and see the moon above me and find that elusive thing, that maddening crazy thing, that magical, mystical thing that brings life to what I write, that allows me to tell stories, that puts little pieces of my soul into the words that pound out of my keyboard, in the words that I breathe and speak into  the darkness.

Where do you get your ideas? So often asked, so often answered. They just come to me. Only now they don’t. Now they don’t. A broken muse, a broken heart, and broken wings. I want to soar again, to stay aloft, to not come down. I miss the days of not coming back down. I want them back. All of them. And my words. For without my words I have no voice left to speak with, and nothing left to say.

amberfocus: (Food--Strawberries)
...but I'm done. I processed 4 more pints and 1 more 12 ounce jar of strawberry jam today and I am finally out of berries. It is interesting how the same amount of ingredients do not always produce the same amount of jam. I've been at it for four days now, but it is totally worth it and my half a pantry shelf of gorgeous jam and jelly is beautifully jewel-toned, but did I mention that canning is hot, sweaty work? Because if I didn't it is hot. And sweaty. And work. But I should not have to make jam again for a week. One batch of raspberries is enough (most will be Christmas gifts) and if the chickens eat the rest, well, I won't tell anyone. And then after that no more jam until mid-August when the blackberries and blueberries are ripe. And then that shelf will be completely full of jam, jelly, and home-canned fruit. And maybe the next one, too.

100 mile Foodshed Ramblings )
amberfocus: (Food--Strawberries)
...but I'm done. I processed 4 more pints and 1 more 12 ounce jar of strawberry jam today and I am finally out of berries. It is interesting how the same amount of ingredients do not always produce the same amount of jam. I've been at it for four days now, but it is totally worth it and my half a pantry shelf of gorgeous jam and jelly is beautifully jewel-toned, but did I mention that canning is hot, sweaty work? Because if I didn't it is hot. And sweaty. And work. But I should not have to make jam again for a week. One batch of raspberries is enough (most will be Christmas gifts) and if the chickens eat the rest, well, I won't tell anyone. And then after that no more jam until mid-August when the blackberries and blueberries are ripe. And then that shelf will be completely full of jam, jelly, and home-canned fruit. And maybe the next one, too.

100 mile Foodshed Ramblings )

*Sighs*

Jul. 3rd, 2012 01:04 am
amberfocus: (Default)
Tomorrow I am going to write. No ifs, ands, or buts. It's really hard to get back into the swing of it again. I was doing so well before T got his concussion. Necessarily I have had to spend more time with him and check on him more frequently when he's out of my sight, which doesn't lead to long, uninterupted hours of writing time on the computer.

What I Have Been Doing Instead of Writing )

*Sighs*

Jul. 3rd, 2012 01:04 am
amberfocus: (Default)
Tomorrow I am going to write. No ifs, ands, or buts. It's really hard to get back into the swing of it again. I was doing so well before T got his concussion. Necessarily I have had to spend more time with him and check on him more frequently when he's out of my sight, which doesn't lead to long, uninterupted hours of writing time on the computer.

What I Have Been Doing Instead of Writing )

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