The House

Jul. 1st, 2014 06:59 pm
amberfocus: (Fringe--Olivia Please Save Me)
We have a bite on the house. Please, please pray for us that this will be the buyer and we can get this thing sold, get out of limbo, and restart our lives again.
amberfocus: (Terra Nova--Mother and Daughter)
The waiting is over. The adoption of my great niece has gone through. She is officially the daughter of my niece and nephew-in-law. She's been part of the family for a year now, but it is nice to know that now no one can ever take her away. Everyone is breathing a big sigh of relief, especially my niece, who has waited 6 years to become a mother. Adoption is a wonderful, beautiful thing.
amberfocus: (CE Birthday Present Icon--Do Not Take)
I pretty much ignored my birthday this year since Chris wasn't home and the kids were horrible, but thanks to those of you who didn't and never do. To be honest, 44 does not feel any different from 43.

It has been a rough month and I have found myself needing the solace of writing. I've been trying to write every day no matter what. I'd fallen out of the habit.

On Friday I sold my first breeding trio of rabbits that I bred and raised from birth and made a cool $60. $20 of which I gave to my son because he does a boatload of the work. The other $40 is going for feed.

I'm going to be picking up a new breeding trio of my own on March 1st, a proven junior buck and two young weanling does, all pedigreed. They will look like these ones from the same breeder who bred these:

New Zealand Reds photo newzealandreds_zpsa78b4dd7.jpg

Yep, I'm venturing into New Zealand Reds. I'll still have the Whites, too. Eventually I'd like to get blacks and blues as well. But that will have to wait until the house sells and we have a barn or shed with more space for cages.

I'm hoping to be inspired and work on fic this weekend. Most of what I've been writing has been non-fiction, for my blogs or for the meme here. But the point is I am writing so hopefully I can start writing what I love writing most again.
amberfocus: (Sick in Bed)
At least it feels that way. I just managed a major cold after Disneyland. Then Spring Cleaning happened without my permission or authorization. Plus getting the garden ready, taking care of the chickens, taking care of the rabbits, and shoveling more manure than I ever knew such little creatures could produce, is taking up time. I hope to actually manage to write fiction tomorrow.

I am slowly adapting to my C-PAP machine. The first few days I had clearly yanked off the mask and thrown it in my sleep, judging from where I found it in the morning. I did the same thing with my mouth guard when I first got it. I'd always spit it out in my sleep and find it somewhere in the covers the next day. The last couple of days I've woken up with the mask still on, so that's progress. I'm not sure if it's doing me any actual good or not. Rose says I am not snoring, but I don't feel anymore rested than before. So exhausted in point of fact. And still somewhat insomniac, unfortunately.

I am so glad it was spring break this week. I don't think I could have handled homeschooling on top of everything else.
amberfocus: (Cartoon Ten/Rose)
Today Chris and I celebrated our 18th Wedding Anniversary at Disneyland. It was so fun. We got the bride and groom Mickey Mouse ears and they gave us buttons at town hall. And there was a band at this Mediterranean restaurant at California Adventure who seranaded us at our table with the song At Last. The singer was incredible. I haven't heard someone hit a high C so accurately in a long time.

Our kids, my nieces, and my SIL are having a fantastic time as well. I was worried about Hayley, but she's actually been great to be around. She sometimes has a short fuse with her mom and sister, but so far there have only been a couple of moments and she just comes over to me and I jolly her out of her mood. And of course Justine is always a joy to be around. Rose has been grumpy for most of the evening and she is not such a joy to be around. She's generally my easy child, but I don't think she is getting enough sleep. Tobias is doing okay for the most part, but he's been a little greedy and Hayley did tell him off for it. I'm glad she did though because of how he was acting. She's 17 so he looks up to her. Still, the bumps are not nearly as numerous as I had feared. Vicki (SIL) has been so much fun. We've always got on well, but not spent too much time together for the last few years, for one reason or another. So that's been nice.

And tomorrow I get to see my beta [livejournal.com profile] amyo67 for the first time since 2009 so I'm excited about that. On Thursday Chris's cousin Bobby, who lives in L.A., is going to spend the day with us in the park. I am really loving this vacation, even if my back is obnoxious from sitting on a scooter all day, and my thumb hurts from holding down the button. Better than than my knee or legs or feet, though. 2 days in and it's been a great vacation. Well worth the money to give my nieces and SIL the trip of a lifetime.
amberfocus: (Watchmaker's Daughter icon)
It's been a crazy weekend. No, it's been a crazy week. But I did manage to get a chapter of The Watchmaker's Daughter done and it's now been sent to beta, so hopefully I will be posting it sometime tomorrow.

13 more days until Disneyland!

And there are many, many bunnies in my near future.
amberfocus: (Ten Rose Krop Tor Thoughts)
Okay, I can open my eyes now. Which means I can see again. Which means I can type again. Which makes me very, very, very happy.

But there is a story that keeps taunting me, especially now it's finished and I want to read it so badly, but I do not have the time if I plan to write this weekend. Which I do. *sighs* I miss having the time to read DW fanfics, though.

Thank goodness for Ba-Con on Sunday, not to be confused with bacon. I will have hours to myself.

My kids keep telling jokes. Some of them are clever. Some of them are awful.

My favorite ones are the science jokes.

What do you do with a dead scientest? Barium.

I like to tell chemistry jokes. Periodically.

Can I tell you a science joke? K

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

Don't trust atoms. They make up everything.

And the groaner:

If chocolate chip cookies are made with chocolate chips, what are Girl Scout Cookies made with? (This was caused by the little poison peddlars outside the local grocery store today. Seriously, have you read the ingredients list on a box of GS cookies?).
amberfocus: (Billie Piper--Brunette in Profile)
I got my second crown yesterday, this time on the lower right side of my jaw (the side I sleep on), another six year molar, this one with a filling from way back which is now gone.  They put on the temporary crown and I go back on the 7nth for the permanent one.  This one hurt more than the other one, but not while he was doing it, just after.  I hate having the tooth surface ground down, it sounds and smells awful.  And the anesthetic that was not supposed to wear off for 8 hours?  Lasted four.

I am beautifully stoned on painkillers, just enough to take the edge off, and make driving impossible.  Or thinking straight.  Hopefully by tomorrow it will stop hurting.

On the bright side, the stomach bug or whatever is gone.  It was definitely something I ate.
amberfocus: (Inner Demons)
Photobucket

As much as I like the original poem, this one made me bark/snort with laughter, which was sorely (and I do mean sorely) needed. This is so my life right now.

Today I had my first crown ever. It's just a temp until the real one comes in. It hurt a lot. It took 4 shots of novacaine and then about halfway through they had to stop and do another one, and then 3/4 of the way through we had to stop and do a sixth. Dentist says he's never had to use that many before. Well, aren't I and my one of a kind body and its stupid quirks special? He said he'd use a longer lasting one next time. You think? It was numb from 11:30 a.m. when I left until about 6:30. It even numbed the inside of one ear. It was itching and I went to scratch it and couldn't feel it.

I slept from 12:30 until 2:00. I can't eat anything cold for 24 hours, though I desperately want ice cream to numb it again. It feels like someone punched me in the jaw. I go back in a week. Dentist said 9 out of 10 people don't need novacaine for the permanent crown fitting. I said I'd probably be that one. This is a molar I've had since I was six and it had 4 or 5 fractures. My habit of ice chewing that I broke a couple years ago probably did not do me any favors. The one on the other side will have to be done, but we are waiting until next year when dental benefits reset. As it is it will cost me $505. I think the insurance should pay more than 50% since it's not like I let the tooth rot or anything. It's just worn out, along with it's mate on the other side. I may still have to get a root canal on the tooth he did today because the nerves are so twangy (my word not his), but I hope not.

Chris comes home at midnight tonight. It's been a long three weeks. I am so happy. Now I can have a bit of a breather. It's been one thing after another with Rose getting sick then finally going back to school, to me getting sick, to Tobias getting sick, to Rose getting hit in the back of the head in basketball today in PE and from her all too familiar symptoms, I think she has a mild concussion. Not anywhere as bad as T's were. Doctor said there was no reason to bring her in with such mild symptoms as the only thing you can do for a concussion is rest. I don't know, I managed to get both kids through ages 16 and 12 without getting concussions. Why the big rush to have them this year?

On the bright side, Christmas bonuses come out in less than a week. Not like I've been counting the days or anything.
amberfocus: (Fringe--Olivia Please Save Me)
Dear Mouth,

Do not eat cheap chocolate.

Not even Ghiradelli.

Not even a little bit.

You will regret it every single time.

If it ain't the clean stuff from TJ's, do not touch it with a ten foot pole. And you might even want to give that a miss for a while.

I mean it.

No love,

Your Stomach
amberfocus: (Leverage--Parker Elf)
If I hear that stupid Kmart commercial one more time I'm not going to be responsible for my actions. I do not care about the lights that light the lights. Or a company that makes their employees work on Thanksgiving.
amberfocus: (Billie Piper--Brunette in Profile)
This week, I don't even know. First we find out that DH's father is going to have to have heart surgery in the next six months or he will die. Considering his last heart surgery left him in a nursing home for six weeks and he is the sole support of his household (just him and MIL, though they do help SIL as they can), this is going to be financially hard for them. Also, the type of surgery he needs will involve the part of the aorta that runs into the spinal column so there is a high chance of paralysis from the chest down because they have to pull it out some and the spine will be cut off from it's blood flow. The only doctors that routinely do this sort of surgery and have a high rate of not paralyzing their patients are in Texas and Minnesota. Nothing local.

So that will add in the expense of plane fare and hotel fare for MIL and of course food costs on top of not working. So expensive surgery in an expensive locale and possible paralysis versus do nothing and die within a year. And that's assuming FIL can even fly in this condition. At least he's got disability insurance and medical insurance. And some paid vacation. That will help. Hopefully it will be enough.

Second, because that can't possibly be enough, my mother got back the results of her MRI today. She's apparently had 2 mini-strokes in the past couple of months, which explains an awful lot about some of her memory lapses. They didn't seem like Alzheimers, which I've been through twice now with Dad and Grandma, and seen from the periphery with Chris' grandma years ago. There has been a general slow down in thinking. It takes longer but she gets there. So now I'm wondering just how much longer she is going to be around. I have always said she would outlive me out of sheer stubborness, but now I'm not so sure. She's 73. Maybe it'll come sooner than I thought.

I don't want to face the possibility of Mom being gone. It hasn't even been a year since Dad died, but I was prepared for that. I'm not at all prepared for Mom to die. Not at all. I'd like a time out from all this real life stuff. It feels like I'm drowning. I just want it all to be okay again.
amberfocus: (Terra Nova--Mother and Daughter)
My baby girl is going on her first date to the Homecoming dance on Saturday. *wibbles* I'm excited for her. Plus the boy is a Doctor Who fan and all around sci-fi fan, as are most of her friends, so points up in my book. I think I'm more nervous than she is.
amberfocus: (Terra Nova--Mother and Daughter)
My baby girl is going on her first date to the Homecoming dance on Saturday. *wibbles* I'm excited for her. Plus the boy is a Doctor Who fan and all around sci-fi fan, as are most of her friends, so points up in my book. I think I'm more nervous than she is.
amberfocus: (Billie Piper--Brunette in Profile)
I don’t know, I don’t understand it, it’s like background music playing in my head, always playing, always there, but I’m not quite aware of it anymore and those sounds, those notes, they used to be words and the words would simply flow and the story would come out of me, telling itself to me, to the world, to everyone who cared to look, that I could soar in the air with these simple letters that came one after the other through no effort of my own. It’s so hard when they are gone, or when they are there, but not strong enough to break through with any type of coherence or cohesion or anything that can make sense on paper. It’s like having a broken pen that only leaks ink, but not the author’s life’s blood. Stab me in the heart and I will bleed you a story. That’s the way it used to be.

Words, words, words, they’re just nonsense on a page, and yet I still want to make them mean something, make people want to read them, make people laugh and cry and snort and exclaim loud enough that their spouse or child comes in from the next room demanding to know the why of that reaction. I want to give my words out again, but they’re gone, just gone, gone, gone. And it’s not writer’s block. It’s so far beyond writer’s block because I can still put words together, obviously I can, but the muse that tells the story doesn’t let imagination come into it, because she’s so far gone she’s not even living on the same planet anymore.

And I think maybe I’ve lost it, that five good years was all I was going to be given. It’s more than some people can even hope for. I look at what I’ve produced and how much I loved it and how I truly feel like a bird who will never be able to fly again and I loved the flying, the words falling from each down stroke of my wings, the pen, the typewriter, the laptop.

It’s come before. It’s gone before. It’s come again, and gone again, so I know that it can, but it just isn’t. I want to fly. I want to scream and shout and beg the universe to give back what it has so blithely taken away. I want to dance in streams beneath waterfalls and let my hair drag down to my waist and see the moon above me and find that elusive thing, that maddening crazy thing, that magical, mystical thing that brings life to what I write, that allows me to tell stories, that puts little pieces of my soul into the words that pound out of my keyboard, in the words that I breathe and speak into  the darkness.

Where do you get your ideas? So often asked, so often answered. They just come to me. Only now they don’t. Now they don’t. A broken muse, a broken heart, and broken wings. I want to soar again, to stay aloft, to not come down. I miss the days of not coming back down. I want them back. All of them. And my words. For without my words I have no voice left to speak with, and nothing left to say.

amberfocus: (Billie Piper--Brunette in Profile)
I don’t know, I don’t understand it, it’s like background music playing in my head, always playing, always there, but I’m not quite aware of it anymore and those sounds, those notes, they used to be words and the words would simply flow and the story would come out of me, telling itself to me, to the world, to everyone who cared to look, that I could soar in the air with these simple letters that came one after the other through no effort of my own. It’s so hard when they are gone, or when they are there, but not strong enough to break through with any type of coherence or cohesion or anything that can make sense on paper. It’s like having a broken pen that only leaks ink, but not the author’s life’s blood. Stab me in the heart and I will bleed you a story. That’s the way it used to be.

Words, words, words, they’re just nonsense on a page, and yet I still want to make them mean something, make people want to read them, make people laugh and cry and snort and exclaim loud enough that their spouse or child comes in from the next room demanding to know the why of that reaction. I want to give my words out again, but they’re gone, just gone, gone, gone. And it’s not writer’s block. It’s so far beyond writer’s block because I can still put words together, obviously I can, but the muse that tells the story doesn’t let imagination come into it, because she’s so far gone she’s not even living on the same planet anymore.

And I think maybe I’ve lost it, that five good years was all I was going to be given. It’s more than some people can even hope for. I look at what I’ve produced and how much I loved it and how I truly feel like a bird who will never be able to fly again and I loved the flying, the words falling from each down stroke of my wings, the pen, the typewriter, the laptop.

It’s come before. It’s gone before. It’s come again, and gone again, so I know that it can, but it just isn’t. I want to fly. I want to scream and shout and beg the universe to give back what it has so blithely taken away. I want to dance in streams beneath waterfalls and let my hair drag down to my waist and see the moon above me and find that elusive thing, that maddening crazy thing, that magical, mystical thing that brings life to what I write, that allows me to tell stories, that puts little pieces of my soul into the words that pound out of my keyboard, in the words that I breathe and speak into  the darkness.

Where do you get your ideas? So often asked, so often answered. They just come to me. Only now they don’t. Now they don’t. A broken muse, a broken heart, and broken wings. I want to soar again, to stay aloft, to not come down. I miss the days of not coming back down. I want them back. All of them. And my words. For without my words I have no voice left to speak with, and nothing left to say.

amberfocus: (Thing in Progress--Respect the Thing)
I am starting to have ideas again. I don't know if anything will come of them, but it is good to at least have plotlines starting to percolate in my head. I hope they will stay, because I have missed them.

Homeschool is going along okay. I thought I was going to die from it last week, but now I think both T and I are going to survive it. Things went a lot smoother today than they did the last three days of last week. I think I was just super stressed out.

I have a major ear ache going on. I know it's not infected because I've been on antibiotics for the sinus thing since the 17nth and it's the same type they give my kids for ear infections. I think I just managed to catch a cold on top of the sinus infection or maybe because I was run down by it. Anyway, though, my right ear and the right side of my throat feel like I swallowed a red hot chile pepper both whole and sideways. If I could get the darn thing to pop I think it would stop hurting so much. I am only eating soft foods because solid foods hurt to swallow. This can be done now.

I watched the pilot of Revolution. Pretty much I liked it, though I did wonder how they all managed to stay so clean all the time. I mean, I spend 15 minutes in the garden and I am filthy, how do they slog through "untamed" land and still look like they stepped out of a fashion magazine? (Also the clothes, but we won't get into that). I also want to know how the cement isn't gone to plants more than it is. After 15 years it would be far more cracked and taken over. But I like it more or less. I still think it's a ripoff of S.M. Stirlings' Embersverse, but whatever. It's like fanfic on television (but not the bad stuff).

I also finally got around to watching the season finale of Drop Dead Diva. I really loved the twist at the end. And also the talent of Brooke Elliot never ceases to amaze me. Although this season was a bit scattered and I could have done without Kim Kardashian's guest role early on, the finale was very satisfying for me.

I saw the first episode of Haven's new season. I am still as in love with Audrey and Nathan as I ever have been. I still ship Duke/ his boat. Looks to be a good season if the premiere ep is anything to go buy. I don't imagine I'll be watching too much this year. I've eliminated quite a few things that are too hard to keep up on when my only source to watch them is hulu. Hopefully this will mean more writing.

I am in the middle of season 4 on a Supernatural rewatch, which is the Angels versus Demons season. I don't like it as much as the first three seasons. I like testosterone laden things when I am very stressed out so I watched a lot of it last week. Either stuff where there is a lot of punching and shooting or they blow stuff up. It's like therapy for some reason. Season 4 has too much angst and not enough of the other stuff. Still, cute boys. Yes, I am that shallow.

Chris went back to Alaska tonight so now the real fun begins. Hopefully I will still be alive when he comes home in two weeks. Speaking of Chris, we just hit 22 years together today. We've been together now for more than half our lives. Wow. That's pretty cool.
amberfocus: (Thing in Progress--Respect the Thing)
I am starting to have ideas again. I don't know if anything will come of them, but it is good to at least have plotlines starting to percolate in my head. I hope they will stay, because I have missed them.

Homeschool is going along okay. I thought I was going to die from it last week, but now I think both T and I are going to survive it. Things went a lot smoother today than they did the last three days of last week. I think I was just super stressed out.

I have a major ear ache going on. I know it's not infected because I've been on antibiotics for the sinus thing since the 17nth and it's the same type they give my kids for ear infections. I think I just managed to catch a cold on top of the sinus infection or maybe because I was run down by it. Anyway, though, my right ear and the right side of my throat feel like I swallowed a red hot chile pepper both whole and sideways. If I could get the darn thing to pop I think it would stop hurting so much. I am only eating soft foods because solid foods hurt to swallow. This can be done now.

I watched the pilot of Revolution. Pretty much I liked it, though I did wonder how they all managed to stay so clean all the time. I mean, I spend 15 minutes in the garden and I am filthy, how do they slog through "untamed" land and still look like they stepped out of a fashion magazine? (Also the clothes, but we won't get into that). I also want to know how the cement isn't gone to plants more than it is. After 15 years it would be far more cracked and taken over. But I like it more or less. I still think it's a ripoff of S.M. Stirlings' Embersverse, but whatever. It's like fanfic on television (but not the bad stuff).

I also finally got around to watching the season finale of Drop Dead Diva. I really loved the twist at the end. And also the talent of Brooke Elliot never ceases to amaze me. Although this season was a bit scattered and I could have done without Kim Kardashian's guest role early on, the finale was very satisfying for me.

I saw the first episode of Haven's new season. I am still as in love with Audrey and Nathan as I ever have been. I don't imagine I'll be watching too much this year. I've eliminated quite a few things that are too hard to keep up on when my only source to watch them is hulu. Hopefully this will mean more writing.

I am in the middle of season 4 on a Supernatural rewatch, which is the Angels versus Demons season. I don't like it as much as the first three seasons. I like testosterone laden things when I am very stressed out so I watched a lot of it last week. Either stuff where there is a lot of punching and shooting or they blow stuff up. It's like therapy for some reason. Season 4 has too much angst and not enough of the other stuff. Still, cute boys. Yes, I am that shallow.

Chris went back to Alaska tonight so now the real fun begins. Hopefully I will still be alive when he comes home in two weeks. Speaking of Chris, we just hit 22 years together today. We've been together now for more than half our lives. Wow. That's pretty cool.
amberfocus: (End of the World Switch--pterry quote)
Am I just doomed to jackassery amongst public school PE teachers forever?

Why, yes. Yes, I think I am.

Taking my daughter to the doctor's office now.
amberfocus: (End of the World Switch--pterry quote)
Am I just doomed to jackassery amongst public school PE teachers forever?

Why, yes. Yes, I think I am.

Taking my daughter to the doctor's office now.

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